I am no longer understanding. I am, in fact, a bit of a b*tch. I am impatient much of the time. I take NO BS. I am not intentionally mean, and I do have a filter, but if it needs to be said, I say it.
So, to the point. I came home after an EXTREMELY stressful day to find my house damaged by a careless accident involving SAfWH and a boat. Now, his boat is a major trigger to me, ie "I'm going up to the boat" being code for "I'm going to a strip club/see an OW/try to pick up someone new" So I am WAY over this hobby that I used to support whole heartedly.
But I am apparently supposed to be "understanding" about this major damage to the house. I just couldn't do it. Even after he fell off the ladder twice in an attempt to make temporary repair, I was just pissed off. This is going to cost major money.
The cherry on the top? In one of our discussions, he commented that if I had done something like that, it WAS an accident after all, HE would be going out of his way to comfort me, to make me feel better, because he certainly didn't mean to do it, but "that's the difference between me and you." At that point, he was lucky to have eyeballs.
So, what do you think? Am I being too harsh? I just cannot feel supportive here, and I may just burn the boats.
PS We have 4 boats now, down from 7.
PPS I wasn't a bit surprised that they found the bomber in a fricking boat. They are ALL bad news.
Of course you get to be pissed about this! If it were me ALL the boats would be gone.
I confess I giggled at "that's the difference between you and me" as well ( but I am on Percocet for shoulder pain and unable to sleep at nearly 3 am! ). I can't imagine that comment went uncontested!
I no longer accept BS either; no white lies, no rationalizations, etc. I won't even let him pretend I helped him eat all the ice cream! I did that for years and got crapped on. No more. And he gets it.
That said, if he ends up in the ER you may need to fake a little sympathy!
"that's the difference between me and you."
Wow, they sure say the dumbest things sometimes! I dont think I could have bit my tongue! He knows how big of a trigger the boats are, right?
I think he is shocked that I'm not the caring, nurturing person I used to be.
mine is too. He expected me to turn my head the other way and say meh like the other times.
Not so much anymore. I always tell him if he doesn't like who I have become since his A he is always welcome to leave. I put up with no more BS anymore either