Oh. My. God. This thread has me tearing up from laughter!
DS is 2.5 and he hasn't quite gotten into sitting on the potty yet. He'll sit but just kinda hang out for a bit and chat or read a book. Once he gets down he'll run like the wind to his room or some corner to "do his business". Thankfully he'll have a diaper back on before he bolts. Whenever we catch him in a corner or under the table (or behind a chair or in the closet) and he's "assumed the position" we ask him if he's pooping. Sometime's he'll say no and try to shoo us away in between grunts and obvious labor. Sometimes if we just look at him quizzically he'll tell us "go away, i'm poopin". This is starting to get scary since he's demonstrated the ability to remove his diaper quite easily.
On another note, one of the unspoken "joys" of having a son are... erections!
I never knew this was possible for kids so young but sometimes DS plays with himself (as all boys tend to do) and manages to give himself a baby erection. One time he was in the tub playing with some fingerpaint (go ahead and make a mess kid, we're taking a shower immediately after) and he had developed an erection. He then proceeded to dip his penis into the cups of paint and use it to paint the walls of the tub! WXGF was horrified, i thought it was hilarious. "Mama i'm painting!" "Daddy will you paint with me?" He's our special little boy!
Me: BBF (29)
WXGF: Confused26 (27) EA/PA with xBF, lasted almost a year. TT, blameshifting, gaslighting, & broken NC for 10 months.
Together 5 years
Ding dong, the bitch is gone! Settling into the life of a single dad.