Hi all, thank you so much for the responses!
I am actually really surprised that no one has swung huge 2x4's at me for even entertaining the idea.
One thing I can say with 1000% conviction is that if I dated him it wouldn't be to get back at my Ex. I'm not exaggerating when I say we were in a loveless marriage for years. No sex. No affection. It was sad. We were roommates and I was resigned because I had made him a promise. Since my Ex was the one that initiated the D, I felt set free. Parts of the D were a little scary and stressful, but now that I am on the other side I am ready to jump into life with both feet and enjoy what I have been denied for so many years.
But wait! I stayed with a broken NPD man for years after I discovered he had a LTA with my best friend! What does that say about me? Do I need to wait a while before I dip my toe back into romance? I don't want to, but I sure don't want to make a mistake either.
That's one of the things that is so attractive to me about this guy. I know him. He is sweet. I've never known him to be unfaithful to anyone. I LIKE him.
BUT, it would cause a bit of a stir in the small town I live in. And this would be my first relationship since the D. What if it doesn't work out and their friendship is ruined because of me? I'm not worried about Ex, I'm worried about the friend. He's a big boy though, and he knows the risks. I'm tempted. He has come over a couple more times. We just sit and talk, but there is definitely a chemistry there.