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New Beginnings Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: My X W Hs best friend told me he is in love with me.
want_to_forgive
♀ Member
Member # 20470
Default  Posted: 5:50 PM, April 26th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Hi all, thank you so much for the responses!

I am actually really surprised that no one has swung huge 2x4's at me for even entertaining the idea.

One thing I can say with 1000% conviction is that if I dated him it wouldn't be to get back at my Ex. I'm not exaggerating when I say we were in a loveless marriage for years. No sex. No affection. It was sad. We were roommates and I was resigned because I had made him a promise. Since my Ex was the one that initiated the D, I felt set free. Parts of the D were a little scary and stressful, but now that I am on the other side I am ready to jump into life with both feet and enjoy what I have been denied for so many years.

But wait! I stayed with a broken NPD man for years after I discovered he had a LTA with my best friend! What does that say about me? Do I need to wait a while before I dip my toe back into romance? I don't want to, but I sure don't want to make a mistake either.

That's one of the things that is so attractive to me about this guy. I know him. He is sweet. I've never known him to be unfaithful to anyone. I LIKE him.

BUT, it would cause a bit of a stir in the small town I live in. And this would be my first relationship since the D. What if it doesn't work out and their friendship is ruined because of me? I'm not worried about Ex, I'm worried about the friend. He's a big boy though, and he knows the risks. I'm tempted. He has come over a couple more times. We just sit and talk, but there is definitely a chemistry there.


M 11 years
Me: BS 38 Him: WS
DDay June 2006, LTA BFFOW
Divorced April 5, 2013
Not making a decision is making a decision.

Posts: 534 | Registered: Jul 2008 | From: Alaska
hit-by-a-train
♀ Member
Member # 8923
Default  Posted: 10:53 AM, April 27th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Read some of my threads about my Friend! Pm me if you like. For me, this is working out so very well and we had a somewhat similar beginning to you two. My mantra is this:

If the Universe has seen fit to send me two good men in a row, then who am I tolook a gift horse in the mouth?


In the depths of winter I finally learned there was in me an invincible summer..Albert Camus
**Beloved hubby died at home 1/28/2013, age 61..** God sent me two good men in a row......and saved the best for last. Grief & joy coexist.

Posts: 2279 | Registered: Nov 2005 | From: USA
Haphazard
♀ New Member
Member # 32204
Default  Posted: 12:34 PM, April 27th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

What if it doesn't work out and their friendship is ruined because of me?

Nobody knows better than an SIer that nothing is guaranteed. Sometimes you just have to take a leap of faith.
It is his friendship..his choice. It won't be because of you


Posts: 18 | Registered: May 2011
Topic Posts: 23
Pages: 1 · 2

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