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Reconciliation Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: Is this just me?
idiot85
♂ Member
Member # 38934
Default  Posted: 7:06 AM, April 25th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I still feel lucky to wake up to my wife every morning- even with all of the shit and hurt- she's still my favourite person. I still love her incredible mind and she is still the most beautiful girl in the world.

This morning I woke up to:

Her: "You know how we can see 3 colours and our spectrum is based on these 3... A mantis shrimp can see 8- 8 colours! Imagine that"
Me: "blows my mind!"
Her: "try and think of a new colour"
Me: "aarrrgghhh" haha

Now- who else could do this? Who else would think of those words to wake up to. She has problems and she acted badly but she's trying to resolve it and SHE isn't bad just as I'm not perfect. I feel like we're lucky to have each other. Even with all the shit and sometimes it hurts so much but- I'm still lucky.

Is it just me?


BH-29 (me)
WW-28

Multi famam, conscientiam, pauci verentur.


Posts: 575 | Registered: Apr 2013 | From: Old Blighty
jo2love
♀ Moderator
Member # 31528
Default  Posted: 8:56 AM, April 25th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Your post made me smile. I think it's important to treasure those moments. I'm glad to hear she is working on R, too.

Posts: 35875 | Registered: Mar 2011
libertyrocks
♀ Member
Member # 38924
Default  Posted: 1:20 PM, April 25th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

aw, I want to cry tears of happiness for you two...YES, I feel the same feelings for WH.

You are an amazing human being. The strength it takes to forgive and take the high road is A LOT harder than bailing with hate in one's heart. You're truly remarkable. She's very lucky to have you!!!


Me-BW 36. STBXH-35,Recovering Alcoholic, M6yrs T13. Boys 2 & 4 1/2.
DDay #1 Nov,2012. 1 1/2 year false R & TT. 10 OW PA's 1LTA (W lied to) 3 years.
S Nov, 2013 again Jan,2014
Filed for D Feb,2014.

Posts: 962 | Registered: Apr 2013 | From: So Cal, baby. :)
karmahappens
♀ Member
Member # 35846
Default  Posted: 1:44 PM, April 25th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Never forget idiot....

She is lucky to have you

(((hugs)))

(typing your name still makes me laugh)


“And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom”
Anaïs Nin
Me: 45
Him: 47
Dday 8/2007
We have R'd

Posts: 3845 | Registered: Jun 2012 | From: Massachusetts
Conflicted1
♀ Member
Member # 39019
Default  Posted: 1:53 PM, April 25th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

aww thats so sweet. i wish someday I will have that feeling again and not immediately snuff it out before I relish it because I am angry with WH.


Honesty is a very expensive gift. Don't expect it from cheap people.

Posts: 101 | Registered: Apr 2013 | From: Me=BW 45
sisoon
♂ Member
Member # 31240
Default  Posted: 4:44 PM, April 25th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I can understand why you want to stick around....


fBH (me) - 70 (22 in my head), fWW (plainsong) - 65+, Married 45+, together since 1965
DDay - 12/2010
Recovered, not yet fully R'ed
I share my own experience because it's the only experience I know, not because I'm a good model.

Posts: 10363 | Registered: Feb 2011 | From: Chicago area
idiot85
♂ Member
Member # 38934
Default  Posted: 4:19 AM, April 26th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

No one's perfect and I wish I wasn't on this road- I wish there'd been another way BUT I can't do anything about that now and neither can she. Sometimes I feel terrible, sometimes I'm happy but even with all of that- she is awesome.

Conflicted- if my wife thinks I'm thinking about it she just blurts something weird out or gushes with love- she just does something to distract me and it helps 99% of the time.

I love the quote "success is not final, failure is not fatal; it's the strength to continue that counts".

Sisoon- I always say she has the ability to say things I've never thought about and to me that's an amazing quality. I figure- no matter what's happened, that hasn't changed. She's still perfectly weird!!

Yeah thanks Karma -
Anyway we have to stay together- I have her portrait on my arm and tattoo removal is supposedly very painful


BH-29 (me)
WW-28

Multi famam, conscientiam, pauci verentur.


Posts: 575 | Registered: Apr 2013 | From: Old Blighty
MrsDoubtfire
♀ Member
Member # 24786
Default  Posted: 4:50 AM, April 26th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I hope she let you wake up a bit first

But yeah, I relish waking up with FWH every morning too. And HE appreciates the fact he still gets to wake up with me too. He tells me often enough


BS(Me) FWH(Him) DDay 05.09
A went underground. True R 02.10
I won't let another woman reap the benefit of enjoying the man my H has now become†

Posts: 1583 | Registered: Jul 2009
karmahappens
♀ Member
Member # 35846
Default  Posted: 8:12 PM, April 28th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I have her portrait on my arm and tattoo removal is supposedly very painful


Christ...thay can make a beautiful floral arrangement outta anything these days

ETA: That was NOT me saying you shouldn't R...I was only joking about the tattoo....

[This message edited by karmahappens at 8:17 PM, April 28th (Sunday)]


“And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom”
Anaïs Nin
Me: 45
Him: 47
Dday 8/2007
We have R'd

Posts: 3845 | Registered: Jun 2012 | From: Massachusetts
Betrayed67
♀ Member
Member # 38134
Default  Posted: 3:41 AM, April 29th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Your post is very encouraging. Gives me hope. Thank you for sharing.


Me-BW 46 yo;Him - WH 53 yo
Married 13years
One daughter together 9yo, 2 stepchildren(His from previous marriage)
Various DDdays (see my profile)
ONS and multiple "friendships" with women in various online dating sites

Posts: 131 | Registered: Jan 2013 | From: New Zealand
idiot85
♂ Member
Member # 38934
Default  Posted: 7:07 AM, April 30th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I just wanted to add... I had a bad couple of days Sunday/Monday but that feeling never left me and this morning was full of smiles and she is awesome!!!

Karma- with the tattoo we were joking about it the other day- I'd just add a beard and monobrow- black teeth, hairy armpits/legs (it's a pin-up style). I'd keep the slogan "my world, my life, my beautiful wife"- people would be like 'poor chap'. ha

I find it so encouraging reading nice things. I can relate to the sad ones which comfort me- in a 'I'm not the only one' way and get great advice but I feel so reassured by the nice stories.

I think infidelity is an ocean and it's easy to get lost in it.

Oh and this morning I woke to:

Her (smiling): "are you the same person you were when I started saying this sentence to you?"
Me: "aarrrgghhh" haha

Socrates, Plato, Aristotle... They have nothing on my wife!!


BH-29 (me)
WW-28

Multi famam, conscientiam, pauci verentur.


Posts: 575 | Registered: Apr 2013 | From: Old Blighty
numb&dumb
♂ Member
Member # 28542
Default  Posted: 8:59 AM, April 30th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I am so happy for you today. The good moments are important, they are the fuel that sustains you through the "down swings."

Burning that fuel myself right now.


Me-35 her-35

DS 1, DD 6
Dday 8/31/11. ONS that occurred 3 years earlier. Lied to for 3 years.

Every truth comes to light in a long enough timeline.


Posts: 2559 | Registered: May 2010
idiot85
♂ Member
Member # 38934
Default  Posted: 9:37 AM, April 30th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I genuinely felt like shit yesterday and had all kinds of thoughts and feelings then today- waking up to that weird question, the sunshine and hearing our kids waking up/giggling- I don't know, I just feel...I feel alright- good in fact!

Today I feel like- what's done is done- I've decided to truly R and she's doing the best she can so I can't be angry for today- if you get me? Today is fine.

Let's see what happens tomorrow!!!

Cheers numb and here have some fuel gggrrrrraaaarrrggghhhh That's the sound of fuel being thrown at you!!!

Edited to say- thrown TO you, not AT you.

I don't know about you but in these shitty times smiling's important so I hope I've raised one for you.

[This message edited by idiot85 at 9:38 AM, April 30th (Tuesday)]


BH-29 (me)
WW-28

Multi famam, conscientiam, pauci verentur.


Posts: 575 | Registered: Apr 2013 | From: Old Blighty
Topic Posts: 13

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