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Newest Member: sandihaze (45362)

Divorce/Separation Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: Is it easier when they're mean or when they're nice?
♀ Member
Member # 13154
Default  Posted: 3:20 AM, April 28th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Through the divorce process (which took a looooooong time), my then stbxh was generally very pleasant but kind of mind-phucked with me the way NPD's do. He was living with OW, and this seemed to make him all most giddy. During the entire process, it was very clear that the kids and I meant nothing to him. He just wanted to be with OW. I kept thinking he would snap out of this, but he did not (has not). I do not pretend to understand, but it seems like his 20+ years with me and the kids were vaporized from his mind. This has been good for NC, but very difficult on the heart and soul.

Me: BS
Married 24 years
incredible kids
D day: 2006 ... he left to live with OW.
Divorced: 2009
WS + OW: Married 2011

Posts: 355 | Registered: Jan 2007 | From: US
♀ Member
Member # 34823
Default  Posted: 1:00 PM, April 28th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

he's trying to be nice so that I don't file contempt of court against him for not paying child support


"Oh, what a tangled web we weave when first we practice to deceive." - Sir Walter Scott

In my effort to be *concise*, I often come off as blunt and harsh. Sorry, don't mean to be offensive.

Posts: 8085 | Registered: Feb 2012 | From: Midwest
♀ Member
Member # 36060
Default  Posted: 1:25 PM, April 28th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Definitely easier when mean. My WH (who I believe we agreed to call Waffle or Princess Lumpy Waffle) is always "nice". He is goodwith the kids, pays support with or without court order, and has even done stuff like bring me coffee when we had DS6 school conference.

Despite all this, MOW is still in the picture, so he is still an asshole. If he acted like one, it would be easier to detach. Instead, I see a lot of the man I married while knowing he is doing asshole things. That combination sucks.

BS-Me 30s
WS-Him 30s
D-Day 4/2012 (Insisted EA only)
D-Day 5/2012 (Did I say EA? Ummm..)
Numerous other TT/broken NC d-days until S 1/2013. D settled 11/2013
MOW-coworker, 40s.
2 DS and DD all w/autism

Posts: 739 | Registered: Jul 2012 | From: USA
Topic Posts: 23
Pages: 1 · 2

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