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Divorce/Separation Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: Looks like this will be my new home for awhile.
TrustGone
♀ Member
Member # 36654
Default  Posted: 3:24 PM, April 26th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

DDay#3 happened this morning when I pulled up WH#2's phone record. 4 calls to OW on Sunday at 2:00 in the morning. Guess he was watching porn and thinking about her. She didn't answer so I'm not sure if she didn't hear it or if she dumped him. The last contact was texts from her back in September and he didn't reply back with texts. At least not on his phone. This time he contated her like he did last year on DDay#2 when I was out of town. I am scheduled for surgery on Tuesday, so I am sure he didn't want a cold bed while I was in the hospital. Either way it doesn't matter. It was the final deal breaker for me and I will pospone my surgery until I can get him out of my house. Hoping my attorney can see me on Monday to finish what I started 18 months ago. I can honestly say I gave it my all, but I have my dignity too and will not continue to be in a fake marriage with a lying cheater.


BW-50
WH#2-51
M-9 yrs T-11 yrs
4 children-none together
DD#1-9/5/11 LTA 2yrs
DD#2-7/3/12 False R
DD#3-4/29/13 (OW broke NC)
Status: Your guess is as good as mine.

Posts: 2420 | Registered: Aug 2012 | From: Texas
tesla
♀ Member
Member # 34697
Default  Posted: 4:05 PM, April 26th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

TrustGone, I'm sorry that it's come to this. But it sounds like you know what you want and that's a good thing.
The process sucks. But the other side is so much more peaceful.

((((TrustGone))))


ish kabibble

Posts: 4205 | Registered: Jan 2012 | From: Indiana
TrustGone
♀ Member
Member # 36654
Default  Posted: 4:20 PM, April 26th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thanks Telsa. I have been lurking in this forum for a while now and always get a kick out of you and little Teslet. Anyway, I knew that I couldn't go on with a remorseless, rugsweeper, but was hoping against hope that he had finally changed. He has been very sweet to me in the last year and I had hoped that even without IC he would realize what he did and try to save our marriage. I knew we weren't in real R, but was hoping that our marriage would overcome the odds. What a fool I have been. I guess I just didn't want to finally let go, but now I have no other choice. It has been hard enough over the last 18 months since DDay#1 and DDay#2. Now with DDay#3 it would be impossible to go on in this marriage with him. I just feel numb right now, but I also feel like this is the best thing that I can do for myself now. Just let it go......


BW-50
WH#2-51
M-9 yrs T-11 yrs
4 children-none together
DD#1-9/5/11 LTA 2yrs
DD#2-7/3/12 False R
DD#3-4/29/13 (OW broke NC)
Status: Your guess is as good as mine.

Posts: 2420 | Registered: Aug 2012 | From: Texas
Williesmom
♀ Member
Member # 22870
Default  Posted: 4:22 PM, April 26th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

((Trust gone))

When you're done, you're just done.


You can stuff your sorries in a sack, mister. -George Costanza
There is a special place in hell for women who don't help other women. - Madeleine Albright

Posts: 7038 | Registered: Feb 2009 | From: Western PA
Jrazz
♀ Guide
Member # 31349
Default  Posted: 5:09 PM, April 26th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((TrustGone)))


For last year's words belong to last year's language
And next year's words await another voice.
And to make an end is to make a beginning. - T.S. Eliot

Posts: 14750 | Registered: Feb 2011 | From: California
Nature_Girl
♀ Member
Member # 32554
Default  Posted: 5:59 PM, April 26th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm sorry.


Me = BS (Stay-at-home-mom)
Him = EX-d out (abusive troglodyte NPD SA)
3 elementary school-aged kids
Together 20 years
D-Day: Memorial Weekend 2011
2013 - I DIVORCED HIM, I'M FREE!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RBOJpIwF47Y

Posts: 8792 | Registered: Jun 2011 | From: USA
tryingagain74
♀ Member
Member # 33698
Default  Posted: 6:01 PM, April 26th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((TrustGone)))

Sorry that you're here, but it's a great place to be under those circumstances. We're here for you!


BS (Me) 39
Happily liberated!
Two DS and One DD
It matters not how strait the gate,/How charged with punishments the scroll./I am the master of my fate:/I am the captain of my soul.--"Invictus," William Ernest Henley

Posts: 3406 | Registered: Oct 2011
TrustGone
♀ Member
Member # 36654
Default  Posted: 8:56 PM, April 26th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thanks everyone. I was going to try the 180 when he got home, but when he started to "explain", I lost it. I won't repeat all the things I said. I finally left when I was so mad I threw a glass of coke at his head (not the glass, just the coke) to shut him up with his lying. When I hit the ceiling with the coke and started to throw the glass, I knew it was time to exit and get myself together. Went to my girlfriends for a few hours to cool off. I have told him I am through and I don't love him anymore, not in the way I want to love my husband. I told him there was no longer any trust and that was what I required in my marriage, not more lies and cheating. He said she texted him twice last week and he was just calling to tell her to stop. Yeah right and I am a complete fool because the phone bill showed no texts from his OW. Even if it did, he choose her over my pain again and never told me. I don't believe him and know it never ended. I told him to go f#$k his whore in glitter shitting unicorn fairyland and to leave me the F#$K alone. I guess I will let the fact he is fixing to lose his job be a surprise for him. I am NC now and will remain that way. I have nothing more to say to him (well maybe a ittle more). He had better just leave me the hell alone. I know he has never seen my wrath like he did today and I am trying to be calm now. Too much to deal with at this time to lose it now. Just deep breathing and meditation for me tonight.


BW-50
WH#2-51
M-9 yrs T-11 yrs
4 children-none together
DD#1-9/5/11 LTA 2yrs
DD#2-7/3/12 False R
DD#3-4/29/13 (OW broke NC)
Status: Your guess is as good as mine.

Posts: 2420 | Registered: Aug 2012 | From: Texas
nutmegkitty
♀ Member
Member # 33882
Default  Posted: 6:54 AM, April 27th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm sorry, TrustGone.


me (BS)
him (NPD Ex)
2 dds
DDay 10/7/11
OW
OC

Divorced 1/17/2013

"Diamonds aren't a girl's best friend, freedom is."


Posts: 2496 | Registered: Nov 2011 | From: MA
TrustGone
♀ Member
Member # 36654
Default  Posted: 10:16 AM, April 27th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Well, I did better after I came home last night. NC from me at all. He slept in the guestroom. He just told me he feed the dog and that is all he said. I didn't comment at all. He left for work early this morning with NC.

Well, I pulled up the last phone bill and she had texted him twice as he said, but it was 2 weeks before he attempted to call her, so he still lied as he said it was last week. He can't even keep up with his own lies. I am sure he was trying to set up a meeting while I was in the hospital. I didn't have to cancel my surgery. My doctor did late yesterday afternoon as she still hasn't gotten a clearance from the many doctors I have seen in the last few months. I am not telling him that my surgery was cancelled. I will see if she shows up at my house that night or if he goes to see her.

I almost picked up the phone to call her and ask her what is going on. She has always told me the truth about them and I really would lke to know if he has spoken to her at all since NC was established last July. She didn't answer when he called her Sunday at 2:00 (4 times). I decided it didn't really matter which way it went. If nothing else he tried to contact her and didn't tell me when she sent text to him 3 weeks ago. That is a total breach in our agreement of NC. He was to inform me if she tried to contact him in anyway and he didn't. Then he tried to call her and didn't tell me which is another breach. He knew it was a deal breaker for me, yet he did it anyway behind my back and then lied about it on top of everything else. She also texted him last September but it never showed he responded, so I let it go. I told him then again if she contacts him in anyway he is to call me immediately, so he can't say now that he didn't know about all my rules of NC. I spelled it out perfectly plain and simple to him then. He is such a total moron. I guess he thought since I didn't catch her text 3 weeks ago, he could call her and I wouldn't catch that either. I am now sure he has been calling her from his job phone. Why after almost a year would she start sending him text out of the blue? The answer is he has just taken it underground again after he thought the pressure was off them. Sorry, I am rambeling on now and will stop. Thanks for all of your support. It means the world to me. I just wished I had found SI in the beginning and I wouldn't have made the mistake of giving him another chance after DDay#2.


BW-50
WH#2-51
M-9 yrs T-11 yrs
4 children-none together
DD#1-9/5/11 LTA 2yrs
DD#2-7/3/12 False R
DD#3-4/29/13 (OW broke NC)
Status: Your guess is as good as mine.

Posts: 2420 | Registered: Aug 2012 | From: Texas
phmh
♀ Member
Member # 34146
Default  Posted: 10:50 AM, April 27th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((TrustGone)))

We're all here for you. You'll get through this.

Tons of hugs.


Me: BW, divorced, now fabulous and happy!

Married: 11 years, no kids

The greater danger for most of us lies not in setting our aim too high and falling short; but in setting our aim too low, and achieving our mark. -Michelangelo


Posts: 3101 | Registered: Dec 2011
CheaterMagnet
♀ Member
Member # 33581
Default  Posted: 12:29 PM, April 27th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm so sorry sweetie. Broken NC sucks so bad.

Just know that we will continue to be here for you while you go through this next phase on the roller coaster from Hell.

(((((HUGS)))))


If Happy Ever After did exist, I would still be holding you like this.
All those fairly tales are full of shit.
One more fucking love song I'll be sick. ~ Maroon 5

Posts: 925 | Registered: Oct 2011 | From: Kailua-Kona, HI
Topic Posts: 12

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