SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

It's been a few years. The saga of Stretch was one with a few readers for awhile and I am who I am today due in large part for the shared teeth gnashing and laughter and head shaking with the SI peeps here in D/S.

It is with mixed feelings that I share the news today...

Stretch announced he had a "surprise" for DS9 on Tuesday but held out with "you'll find out this weekend." DS9 didn't spend any time WONDERING as I am sure the intention was.

The announcement was made today with great fanfare. Stretch "no longer has a girlfriend." DS9 cheered! he broke out into song, he danced, he celebrated, whooped, fist pumped and hopped all over the kitchen. (Stretch made the announcement over the phone, the call being the standard EOW excuse for why he's late for picking up the boys.)

After DS hung up, I said his name, and he interrupted with "What? I never liked her."

I gently suggested that daddy might not have a gf because he got married...

ah, the horror of the imagining. DS went straight to the phone, called his dad and asked the question.

Stretch says he's "never ever ever getting married again."

DS says so you're broke up?

YES.

So she's gone?

NO. She's still there but they aren't boyfriend/girlfriend anymore.

So you don't pay for her anymore?

Mixed feelings because .... that sick clenching feeling that Stretch might have too much time on his hands and no keeper. He's been "chatty" and attempted to be familiar recently and that is just ... ICKY.

And OMG my poor guys are going to spend the weekend with awkwardness in a CAMPER with one bed and no tv. No escape.

Thank goodness it is only a weekend.

I don't even think this is karma so much as expected consequences.

OW moved out of her HOUSE in far away state to live in a camper in a driveway with a loser bf... Her stuff is in storage. She's been substituting but has taken an interim position in a nearby county. She let her sister move into her HOUSE and now she's what? homeless? Maybe she can get a new loser boyfriend on Craigslist. Maybe she'll move in with her sister? Maybe they'll have in camper separation and she hopes he'll come around and they can get back together... who the hell knows or cares?? anyone? LOL

so there's the update and the confirmation that it is not all "happily ever after" for the cheaters. No matter what story or front they put out there. Time. They get all the happiness they deserve.

I love my independence.

Maybe they'll have in camper separation

Oh my - that made me snort.

What a weird thing to call a 'surprise' and so weird to put so much fanfare to it.

Perhaps it was for your benefit. Advertising that he is available. Limited time only. Better hurry cg.

He may as well have a "Close to Expiry - Price Reduced" sticker on his arse.

As I said in a previous thread about Xs sniffing around and embarking on fishing expeditions:

There are no fish in this pond. This pond has no water. Fuck Off.

<<EFS>>

[This message edited by StrongButBroken at 7:42 PM, April 26th (Friday)]

oh SBB, I wish you'd been here when I was going through all of the drama. You are so damn witty and good for my soul.

no water....

these damn lower muppets.

Maybe they'll have in camper separation

Y'all are killing me here...

FYI for the newbies, we need you to re-splain how he came to be called Stretch...

I've always understood FT but not "Stretch".

Do tell!!

as newbies.... Stretch and skew is a function in photo shop.

The keylogger logged this function right after the uploading of "penis pics" and right before the posting of said STRETCHED pics to his favorite dating website... craigslist...

my favorite comment from that story? was "buyer beware"

ah, the "good ole days!" I like them much better from THIS perspective.

My laughing induced endorphins just hit fever pitch. I'm going to need a little lie down.

"buyer beware"

I use powerpoint daily and will have to stifle my snorts whenever I see the stretch function. Thank you cg!

Oh my - my ribs hurt.

You can't make this shit up!!!

He knew about the keylogger. He believed it required updates and might not be sending reports to me...

I had received copies of a "conversation" with a potential hookup (not OW). He'd been asked for pics. His reply? He was replacing his digital camera and they'd be sent soon.

HE CALLED ME. Said he was in Walmart trying to buy a digital camera... for work. How many pixels should he get? What zoom function is best?

I choked out, well, what do intend to take pictures of? from what distance?

OH, you know... work stuff.

He asked his "wife" for advice on the camera to take digitally enhanced pictures of his penis. I guess it was a question he wasn't comfortable asking his girlfriend. Same OW who lives in the camper. Stretch had quite the fantasy lifestyle. Wife and kids, girlfriend, and online hookups based on photo enhanced self portraits! I always said he was a dick....

[This message edited by FaithFool at 8:19 PM, April 26th (Friday)]

Oh stop. I have had two children. It is dangerous to make me laugh this hard!! Rueful laughs don't usually bring on this situation!

I hope he knows his nickname and that there's a woman in Australia exerting super human pelvic control about his false advertising.

Good lesson to learn should I ever find myself on a hook-up site. a) they are married douches, b) false advertising, c) Stretch hangs out there.

My mum never taught me these things. There should be a community announcement about this stuff!!

He sure has earned his FT title too, hasn't he?

It is amazing that ur husband and mine both moved into campers and moved their OW from homes into the camper. Lord,,, I thought I was the only person with a nut for a WH.

I think WH and OW would be done, also, but she's in too deep now, can't make her car pay without my WH help...

ah, better keep exercising!

Faithfool, you still around? should we bring up the penis pump stories?

Oh heck yes!

Aaaaaah, good ole Stretch. I hope he still has his old camera, because it seems like he's going to have to start using it again.

Care, you sensed this was coming - or at least that something was up. GOOD instincts!

Also, I hope he doesn't try to move back in with you like Genius tried to do.

This thread is a hoot!

in camper separation

Snork*!

Stretch and skew is a function in photo shop

ROTFLMAO!

In-camper separation...no, you can't make this shit up. I don't know why I'm still amazed after all this time, but, damn...

Also, I hope he doesn't try to move back in with you like Genius tried to do.

*shudder.....

Well, he did park his truck in the driveway when he came to get the boys. He has always stayed on the street, left the engine running.

Today? He pulls into the driveway and turns off the motor. Of course he's late, and I am ready to go to the grocery store and get home for my Friday night SI in pj time.

(foot tap tap tap...)

When I hear myself tell my mom this detail

"he dumps his gf and suddenly it's ok to put his truck in my driveway?" and I swear I vomited into my mouth a little.

Who KNOWS what he might imagine in the hamster on a wheel that powers his thinking.

When I hear myself tell my mom this detail

"he dumps his gf and suddenly it's ok to put his truck in my driveway?" and I swear I vomited into my mouth a little.

Who KNOWS what he might imagine in the hamster on a wheel that powers his thinking.

Oh boy. I'm sure your house looks a lot better than the in-camper separation right now, Care.

All in all though, such a good end to the CL girlfriend story. Especially if she won't leave the camper for a while!!!

Deep breath getting all serious...

And the Biggest Dick Award goes to (drum roll) Stretch.

cg.. you can tell him he won if you like. I know it made XH's day when I told him.

Thank you CG9000 for the explanation of "Stretch" and the best laughter I have had for a long time. I am not sure I will ever think the same way about photoshop again!