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Divorce/Separation Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: WH breaks NC
ButterflyGirl
♀ Member
Member # 38377
Default  Posted: 1:41 AM, April 27th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I get this text tonight from STBXWH around 10 p.m. It is a link to a YouTube video.

I text him back, "This is probably not kids, finances or urgent, so I did not watch it. Please leave me alone." (Per the temporary mediation settlement, all non-urgent communication should be done through email).

My curiosity gets the best of me, and it's a video by Perfect Circle for the song "Noose." Here are the lyrics:

"The Noose"

So glad to see you well
Overcome and completely silent now
With heaven's help
You cast your demons out
And not to pull your halo down
Around your neck and tug you off your cloud
But I'm more than just a little curious
How you're planning to go about
Making your amends to the dead
To the dead

Recall the deeds as if
They're all someone else's
Atrocious stories
Now you stand reborn before us all
So glad to see you well

And not to pull your halo down
Around your neck and tug you to the ground
But I'm more than just a little curious
How you're planning to go about
Making your amends to the dead
To the dead

With your halo slipping down
Your halo slipping
Your halo slipping down
Your halo slipping down
Your halo slipping down [repeated]

Your halo slipping down to choke you now


Isn't this threatening? WTF is wrong with this guy??


xBW~ 35
Two of the most darling sons ~ 10 and 7

Posts: 2239 | Registered: Feb 2013 | From: Florida, USA
Take2
♀ Member
Member # 23890
Default  Posted: 3:53 AM, April 27th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Not knowing him at all, I took it as a typical WS blameshift and sniffling whine: "You think you are so perfect, like you're some angel -- but your halo is slipping... Amends to the dead would be to him (cause you won't talk to him *sniff* and you are treating him like he is dead...)

Sounds like he doesn't like not getting his way, not getting what he wants, and NC is getting to him.

Don't know your story ButterflyGirl but I'm guessing NC is working out well enough for you. Don't respond.

It's Friday night - if you don't have an SI D/S playlist yet maybe it's time to browse youtube yourself and build one! I'll even start you off: Link'n Park's In the End.

But you know him, so you'd be a better judge as to how he meant it... if you think he meant it as a threat - do take precautions.


"We must be willing to get rid of the life we've planned, so as to have the life that is waiting for us." Joseph Campbell...So, If fear was not a factor - what would you do?

Posts: 4113 | Registered: May 2009 | From: New England
SBB
♀ Member
Member # 35229
Default  Posted: 4:27 AM, April 27th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

^^I'm with Take2.

Exactly why you should immediately delete this sort of thing so you don't look even when you're tempted.

Don't respond. Don't let him know you looked. Next time, don't look.

Soon you won't wonder - you'll know that whatever you're going to see is going to cause you pain and confusion. You can skip that bit. Soon enough you won't even be curious.

It may has well been a link to monkeys eating their own shit for all of the meaning that it has to you.

That's how you need to treat this kind of thing.

Fake it till you make it. I promise you it won't matter one little bit once you reach indifference. Oh, except you might share it here so we can all have a good laugh about his idiotic antics.

After S I had a whole bunch of people telling me monsters FB was showing all of these soppy songs he was listening to. One of which was a tragic 80s song called "Human" which basically said 'I fucked around because I'm only human, won't you forgive me?'. Apparently he posts quite a bit - more venty these days. I think its hilarious.

I don't let anyone tell me anything about him now because THAT stupid song was added to my list of triggers. Any song by that damn band too. I don't care for any more triggers, thanks.

It doesn't burn any less whether its something nasty or 'nice' - its all nasty when you consider the source.

Don't let the curiosity get you next time. It will take all of your willpower when you first do it but soon it becomes as easy as breathing.

Don't let him into your headspace to roam rent free - he has been evicted.

Repeat until it sticks.

((ButterflyGirl))


I may have reached a point where I'd piss on him if he was on fire.... eventually!!

Posts: 5561 | Registered: Apr 2012 | From: Australia
SBB
♀ Member
Member # 35229
Default  Posted: 4:28 AM, April 27th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

And - forward it to your lawyer. If he contacts you again about it tell him you'll forward all of this kind of thing to your lawyer to vet for you. And do just that.


I may have reached a point where I'd piss on him if he was on fire.... eventually!!

Posts: 5561 | Registered: Apr 2012 | From: Australia
stronger08
♂ Member
Member # 16953
Default  Posted: 4:52 AM, April 27th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

And so did you by answering his text. The 180, NC etc. is for your benefit, not his. He wants you to engage and enjoys playing his little fucking games. And each time you respond it adds another brick to the wall of power he is trying to build around you. Silence speaks volumes both emotionally and legally. If he continues sending them forward to your attorney and request a RO on the basis of harassment. Then take it from there. One thing I have learned is that if you give a WS enough rope, they certainly hang themselves sooner or later. Hang in there kiddo.


You cant eat soup with chopsticks.

Posts: 5661 | Registered: Nov 2007
tesla
♀ Member
Member # 34697
Default  Posted: 6:48 AM, April 27th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

^^This.

I hate it when they try to 'talk' to you through songs. My ex-shat was like that...always had a song that was supposed to speak volumes about us and where we were at. Bleh.

Anyway...just ignore his stupidity from here on out. I (and many others) can attest to how powerful silence can be!


"Thou art the son and heir of a mongrel bitch." --King Lear

Posts: 4634 | Registered: Jan 2012 | From: Indiana
ButterflyGirl
♀ Member
Member # 38377
Default  Posted: 10:26 AM, April 27th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thanks for all the replies.

You all would have been very proud of the perfect eye roll I performed when I finally listened to it.

He has been violent in the past, so it certainly does not give me warm fuzzy feelings when he sends crap like this.

I will be happy I watched it since emotionally it did about as much damage as poking the Pillsbury Dough Boy, and I will be promptly sending this to my lawyer..

He has always enjoyed angry, hateful, satanic music, but the further away from him I am, the less desensitized I am to it and the more I see it for the bucket full of crazy that it is.

Thanks again everyone.

Sounds like he doesn't like not getting his way, not getting what he wants, and NC is getting to him.

Don't know your story ButterflyGirl but I'm guessing NC is working out well enough for you

This is true. I would give myself a big pat on the back for how much ignoring I do to his craziness


xBW~ 35
Two of the most darling sons ~ 10 and 7

Posts: 2239 | Registered: Feb 2013 | From: Florida, USA
Ashland13
♀ Member
Member # 38378
Default  Posted: 11:47 AM, May 13th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

@StrongButBroken,

You're the first to have this common thing, where Perv says often, "I am only human". I don't spend long on it, but it echoes in my mind long after. What exactly does this mean?

What does he/your Ex think "human" is? If I can't find a way to understand something, that's the stuff that lingers in my mind.

I'm human, but would never, ever, ever do the things Perv did. I don't mean to be high and mighty but to say we're different.

I was thinking about starting a thread on this topic, but didn't.

Thanks.


Ashland 13

A person is a person, no matter how small. -Dr. Suess

Perserverance and spirit have done wonders in all ages.

-George Washington


Posts: 2229 | Registered: Feb 2013 | From: New England
crazyblindsided
♀ Member
Member # 35215
Default  Posted: 3:14 PM, May 13th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

"I am only human".

I hate this one too. It makes me want to gobsmack WH everytime I hear it.


BS/FWS (me):40 Madhatter
WS/BS:42 Serial Cheater
Together 18 years, Married 13
DD(10) DS(7)
DDay(s) 5/08, 5/09, 3/30/12
Final Dday 7/11/14 Affair never ended

Posts: 2266 | Registered: Apr 2012 | From: California
Topic Posts: 9

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