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Newest Member: lynnde (44729)

Divorce/Separation Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: It's too much....
Undefinabl3
♀ Member
Member # 36883
Default  Posted: 1:07 PM, April 29th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

You have a few choices.

1. Tell SIL that you will no longer be doing the joint party because you do not feel that you Xh bringing his pregnanat mistress is proper for the occation. And then have your own small gathering. Your child will ask questions, your X will probably have words for you, but whatever.

2. Continue with the jointness, letting X know that while you understand the OW is here to stay, that you would prefer not to have her at this communion as its still very soon for you....if he's and ass about it, then see number 1.

3. Go to the party, and look GOOOOOOOD....find a male friend to go with you, or find some female friends that can provide you with support when you need it. But dont let that OW see you flinch.

Honestly - the best reveng is living your life like they dont exist. Giving them the power to make you change your plans is to much power.


Me: 31 MH
Him: 37 MH
New online find 6/19/14 - shit

Posts: 1717 | Registered: Sep 2012
phillygirl
♀ Member
Member # 9078
Default  Posted: 1:22 PM, April 29th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I agree with the others. Don't go. Have your own party.

This is a test of your boundaries. Your STBXH and his OW are seeing just how much you will bend and twist in order to "keep the peace".

No reasonable person would expect a BS to share the same room in front of friends and family with her not yet EH and his pregnant OW. It is ridiculous and an insult.

At some point you must put your foot down and say, "no I will not allow you to do/say this to me". Then maybe, just maybe they will at least learn to pretend to have manners.


Me - BW
Him - WH
Divorced - 7/2013

Posts: 825 | Registered: Dec 2005
Zamas
♀ Member
Member # 38658
Default  Posted: 2:20 PM, April 29th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thank you so much everyone. This site is so great with the support and caring you recieve from the members. I honestly still don't know what I'm going to do. In fact after I blew up at my SIL on the phone last night idk if I'm even still invited. I told her to count my son and other kids out of the party and for now I'm content with that decision. I'm going to let a day or two pass to really come to terms with what in comfortable with and then I will reevaluate.


Me- SAHM 30yo BS
Him- 32yo WS
Three kids, 9, 7, 10mo

Their baby was born in Sept and they are happily househunting. He finally left 4/03.


Posts: 80 | Registered: Mar 2013 | From: New Jersey
Holly-Isis
♀ Member
Member # 13447
Default  Posted: 2:44 PM, April 29th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

you will not share this milestone with her.

Not just that, but your son shouldn't be expected to have the person who helped tear apart his family at his celebration.

People have a "get over it" attitude for the BS, but point out this affects the child too.


"Being in love" first moved them to promise fidelity: this quieter love enables them to keep the promise. *CS Lewis*

Posts: 11133 | Registered: Jan 2007 | From: Just a fool in limbo
tesla
♀ Member
Member # 34697
Default  Posted: 5:28 PM, April 29th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Your SIL plans a party WITH you and then invites the WH (without discussing how this might go down????) & WH is bringing - OW to your son's communion party. Less than a month from him walking out? Hell no! I would be livid! And that would likely be the last time I talked to SIL. I wouldn't go, I wouldn't help in anyway shape or form. Let WH take DS - you do something special with him to celebrate... On top of everything else - this is too much... What an insensitive clueless beeatch to do that without discussing it with you!!!


^^^THIS^^^

What the fuck is wrong with your SIL inviting her cheating brother and his pregnant girlfriend to a COMMUNION party that his WIFE is going to be at.

What. The. Fuck. *Facepalm*

This to me is abso-fucking-lutely unacceptable. Fuck them.


"Thou art the son and heir of a mongrel bitch." --King Lear

Posts: 4610 | Registered: Jan 2012 | From: Indiana
Zamas
♀ Member
Member # 38658
Default  Posted: 5:53 PM, April 29th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

You guys crack me up. I swear every time I start to drink to kool-aid with his stupid family all I need to do is come on here to realize that they're certifiably insane.

I spoke with WH, I will be sending the older two kids to the party with him but I'm keeping the baby at home with me. I don't need to go and prove anything. My mom explained to me that I can't go there thinking that kindness and morality will do me any favors in their lions den. They will rip me to shreds and I will leave with no dignity or strength left, they will suck me down to their shitty level bc that's what they do. It sucks bc by all accounts this will be a great party that my kids will love but oh well. I will throw him my own with my friends and family and what it lacks in flash and pomp it will make up for in kindness, love, and decency. (Sounds so boring!!! Lol)


Me- SAHM 30yo BS
Him- 32yo WS
Three kids, 9, 7, 10mo

Their baby was born in Sept and they are happily househunting. He finally left 4/03.


Posts: 80 | Registered: Mar 2013 | From: New Jersey
shiloe
♀ Member
Member # 1224
Default  Posted: 8:47 PM, April 29th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Good idea! That's the spirit.
FTG and his sister.


But remember, good love is hard to find . . -Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers
BS - 54
Cheater -54
Married 26 yrs
DD - 21 DD -19 DS-17
A#1 2000 with married ho-worker/neighbor ow#1
A#2 2007-? OW#2 LTA with married ho-worker. Kicked him out, he filed

Posts: 587 | Registered: Mar 2003
Topic Posts: 27
Pages: 1 · 2

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