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Newest Member: whatdoido21 (45321)

Just Found Out Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: Alcohol and Reconciliation??
iloveyouperiod
♀ New Member
Member # 39122
Default  Posted: 3:12 AM, April 29th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

My H and I would drink beer and wine almost every night before Dday. I feel that it has been a terrible poison in our marriage. Is it unreasonable to ask H to stop drinking while we work to re-build?

Posts: 4 | Registered: Apr 2013
haleyscomet
♀ Member
Member # 38250
Default  Posted: 3:26 AM, April 29th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I wouldn't worry about whether it was reasonable or not.
You have your reasons -
Mine used to use alcohol as a hiding place... I've wasted so many hours that probably add up to days or weeks even -- waiting for him to sober up so that we could talk... it was often a very small window of opportunity

be prepared for him to resist your suggestion / request


me: bgf - 46
him: wwbf - 40
lived together 2-1/2 years
dday1 dec 16 2012 found texts
dday2 dec 29 2012 intercepted texts
dday3 feb 20 2013 found texts during false R
status: its over


Posts: 68 | Registered: Jan 2013
iloveyouperiod
♀ New Member
Member # 39122
Default  Posted: 3:42 AM, April 29th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

That's what I am afraid of. Before finding out about his 4 month affair with a W from work, we would both use alcohol to hide from our problems. We agreed to not drink for 30 days, he to look deep inside himself for the real reasons he did this to us and me to avoid the emotional outbursts that I know would start to happen after a few glasses of wine. Only 2 days are left and I don't want to feel resentful when he picks up a beer again. I am choosing to extend my 30 days until I think I can handle it, I feel great physically and I don't want to damage our progress.

DDay 3/19/2013
Me BW 37
Him WH 37
Married 14 years

[This message edited by iloveyouperiod at 3:44 AM, April 29th (Monday)]


Posts: 4 | Registered: Apr 2013
Topic Posts: 3

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