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Just Found Out Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: Wife made out with a guy
tushnurse
♀ Member
Member # 21101
Default  Posted: 6:10 PM, May 16th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Dude she twisted it around on you she probably had something else set up for the weekend and you foiled her plans. Yet again she was able to manipulate you, make you feel like you were wrong or did something bad. I'm sorry but this may sound harsh. Why do you believe her she has proven that she is a lying liar that lies, and then lies about those lies.

You did nothing wrong feel proud about your actions.


Me: FBS
Him: FWS
Kids: 15 & 17
Married for 22 years now, was 16 at the time. .
D-Day Sept 26 2008
Fully R'd, and Happy Happy Happy

Posts: 8680 | Registered: Oct 2008 | From: St. Louis
jackson
♂ Member
Member # 18819
Default  Posted: 10:51 PM, May 16th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

You should fly down anway and find out what she is up to. Highly suspect.

Posts: 790 | Registered: Mar 2008 | From: Midwest
5454real
♂ Member
Member # 37455
Default  Posted: 11:07 PM, May 16th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

should be pretty easy to check that. credit card would show the reservations made wouldn't it?


BH 51, WW 42
DS 23(Mine),SD 21,SS 20(Hers),DS 9 Ours, DGS 3, DGD 1 mo
D=Day #1 5/04EA (Rugswept)
D-Day #2 3/10/12, TT til 3/13/12
Married 10yrs
I have no love for a friend who loves in words alone.
― Sophocles, Antigone

Posts: 2968 | Registered: Nov 2012 | From: midwest
mike7
♂ Member
Member # 38603
Default  Posted: 11:13 PM, May 16th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

indeed 5454rl. of course, if there are no reservations, she could just say she hadn't made them yet.

sorry to sound cynical Calkid, but it seems like she is continuing to manipulate you. Why did she change the passwords? For heavens sake, don't pull her on your lap and talk to her like a little girl again. She knows what she's doing. And if we are all wrong, at the very least she is minimizing. still no excuse for changing the passwords, (on the fake FB account).


BH 53
WW 52
Two kids 21, 18

DDay 1/15/2013


Posts: 542 | Registered: Mar 2013
kannan
♂ Member
Member # 36057
Default  Posted: 7:27 AM, May 17th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

There is another thread running on another forum about the same

http://talkaboutmarriage.com/coping-infidelity/74385-real-interesting-thread.html


Posts: 139 | Registered: Jul 2012
confused615
♀ Member
Member # 30826
Default  Posted: 10:40 AM, May 17th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

^^

[This message edited by confused615 at 11:26 AM, May 17th (Friday)]


BS(me)42
FWH 45
4 kids
M: June 2001
D-Day: 8/10/10
Status: Reconciling?

..that feeling you get in your stomach, when you heart's broken. It's like all the butterflies just died.


Posts: 7668 | Registered: Jan 2011 | From: Indiana
sadtoo
♀ Member
Member # 2027
Default  Posted: 10:47 AM, May 17th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Then I call her and say guess what baby, I'm coming tomorrow for the weekend and I'll get to see you, the grand baby (which I've hardly seen).

^^^ THIS was a mistake. You should have just went without the phone call.

Calkid,
You want your wife to be honest, faithful and committed so bad that you are failing to see what's right before your eyes.

She is creating secret Facebook accounts, changing passwords on her email accounts, and clearly still hung up on the AP.

You cannot love her out of this. That. Simply. Doesn't. Work.

You must separate her words from her actions. She is saying all the things you want to hear. And because you want this so bad, you remain hooked. But her actions clearly say something entirely different. And because you remain hooked by her words, you are ignoring her actions.

Please. Study the 180. Protect yourself. Visit a lawyer to find out your rights before this gets much worse.


It is what it is, not what we hope it can be.

When another woman takes your husband,
sometimes the best thing you can do for
yourself is to LET HER HAVE the worthless
bum.
OC born 2001
Divorced 2003
Remarried 2008 (New Guy)


Posts: 8032 | Registered: Aug 2003 | From: Iowa
toomanyregrets
♂ Member
Member # 37740
Default  Posted: 11:31 AM, May 17th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Hard as it will be, you've got to stop trying to win her back. You can't without giving up yourself. The only way she'll come back is if she realizes she'll loose everything. If she doesn't care then you can't win.
You have to start thing of you before her.


BH - 64
fWW - 60

"Affairs are not mistakes, they are a series of deliberate choices." - CrappyLife


Posts: 481 | Registered: Dec 2012 | From: Upstate NY
Drew_n_Va
♂ Member
Member # 31043
Default  Posted: 11:39 AM, May 17th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I can only speak to my experience but I kicked my wife out of the house after 7 days and severed everything financially. 7 days later she texted me and said she wanted a divorce. I unloaded on her. I was very ugly. Less than 24 hours she called me sobbing and asked to come home. 28 months later we are almost reconciled.
You can't nice her back.


Me: BH 50
her: fWW 41
Married 19 years
3 Beautiful Kids (14,8,6)
D-Day: 1-26-11
Status: Reconciled
"From Happy to Separated to Divorcing to living together again in 16 Days."

Endeavor to Persevere


Posts: 425 | Registered: Jan 2011 | From: Va
doesitgetbetter
♀ Member
Member # 18429
Default  Posted: 11:50 AM, May 17th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Starting to wonder if maybe she had plans of her own and was doing something shady while she's with your son and she doesn't want you there to ruin it for her. You (mistakenly) tell her you're coming, she throws a fit, says she was going to show up on Tuesday (but wasn't she supposed to be out of town to help a relative recover from surgery? suddenly that's not important). So she now throws this fit, I'm imagining it was to get you to stay home and "wait" for her to show up on Tuesday. Tuesday comes, she's a no show, and she would say "it's because you ruined it, so I didn't want to do it now because it would just be awkward". Thus giving her all that spare free time away from Calkid to change any passwords she wants, keep in contact with OM all she wants, and maybe spend the weekend with HIM since he might be "surprising" her himself.

Ok, I lied... I didn't JUST start thinking this.

Cal, dude, you have REALLY got to stop tipping your hand to her. She's playing you like a fiddle, and you keep falling right in tune with it.


DDay - Dec '07
Me - BS
Him - FWS
Us - Committed
May 18, 2010 - I forgave him fully!
"Behold, I have refined thee, but not with silver; I have chosen thee in the furnace of affliction." Isaiah 48:10

Posts: 3859 | Registered: Feb 2008
5454real
♂ Member
Member # 37455
Default  Posted: 12:20 PM, May 17th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

You know, just in your last two posts, it pretty well confirms that her A is still going on, and the closer you get to the truth, the more it pisses her off.

Why did you change the password on the gmail and that fake FB account." "Are you serious? Good night Calkid." "So then she starts texting me. "Are you gonna bring this house down with your craziness?" "No" "How are we ever suppsed to move forward? Don't contact me tomrorow. Just let me be."

"I thought we were taking a break to let things cool down? You never give me a chance to do anything for you. I was planning on coming back on Tuesday and surprising you. You are always complaining about me not reciprocating your love but you always beat me to the punch." I tried to say, "why didn't you keep it secret still? I would have been blown away! And, at least I get to see the grand baby and son."

Tuesday? Doubt it. 180 brother. Stop giving her the power. She continues to lis and conceal. She doesn't get it yet.

Strength


BH 51, WW 42
DS 23(Mine),SD 21,SS 20(Hers),DS 9 Ours, DGS 3, DGD 1 mo
D=Day #1 5/04EA (Rugswept)
D-Day #2 3/10/12, TT til 3/13/12
Married 10yrs
I have no love for a friend who loves in words alone.
― Sophocles, Antigone

Posts: 2968 | Registered: Nov 2012 | From: midwest
LonelyHusband
♂ Member
Member # 34145
Default  Posted: 12:34 PM, May 17th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

OK, so your wife is actively involved in an affair. Deep down, you know this. She freaked out about the weekend because she was with someone, or planning to be with them. As gently as I can, you need to wake up and see what's in front of you.

so your wife is currently involved with another man. The question is - what are you going to do about it. Are you going to let her walk all over you and continue to have sex with another man until she gets bored and finds someone else to have an affair with, knowing this is now your life.

Or are you going to stand up and say "enough". Pack her things, and have divorce papers waiting for her. When she arrived back give them to her. Give her the shock of her lifetime. Show yourself to be a strong man. Respect yourself, and she might just start to respect you too. Maybe she won't, in which case you will start to heal alone, but either way you win.

Your life. Your choice. We cannot convince you to do something you do not want to do. You cannot convince your wife to give up an exciting new sex partner for you. It won't work. Why should she? she is in complete control of you and can have the new partner and the man at home to look after home and the kids. You cannot love her out of it, you cannot respect her out of it. All you can do is rebuild your self respect and take control of your own life.

Your life, your choice. Which life do you want to lead?

[This message edited by LonelyHusband at 12:36 PM, May 17th (Friday)]


BS ( me) 41
fWS (OktoberMest) 35
D day #1 29/10/2011, D day #2 15/112011, D day #3 15/03/2012
Reconciling.
Its better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all, is inadequate consolation when you vacuum up a child's hamster'

Posts: 1290 | Registered: Dec 2011 | From: UK
tushnurse
♀ Member
Member # 21101
Default  Posted: 7:17 AM, May 20th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Calli, I hope you had a good weekend. I also hope you are doing well.


(((((and strength))))


Me: FBS
Him: FWS
Kids: 15 & 17
Married for 22 years now, was 16 at the time. .
D-Day Sept 26 2008
Fully R'd, and Happy Happy Happy

Posts: 8680 | Registered: Oct 2008 | From: St. Louis
5yrsout
♀ Member
Member # 32109
Default  Posted: 1:43 PM, May 20th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

^^^^
Me, too.

Thinking about you ((((Calkid))).
Hope you are doing okay.


Now 7 Yrs Out - my prince is a frog
DD 5/15/2006

Posts: 774 | Registered: May 2011
Lucky
♀ Member
Member # 6864
Default  Posted: 4:58 PM, May 20th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thinking of you calkid..


♥ WINE - the other fruit juice! ♥


Posts: 36162 | Registered: Apr 2005
la433
♂ Member
Member # 38835
Default  Posted: 11:41 AM, May 21st (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Wow, CALKID, your WS is a master manipulator to make YOU think that you ruined her plans to come visit you. What bunk. I say call her bluff, go down there and see that Grandchild of yours and then fly back.

I agree with others. She was going to have a booty call. She's lying. Plain and simple. Very simply, do you see charges on the credit card? Probably not, I dare say.

I say change those reservations to some place YOU want to go, and go, or go visit the baby. That's never a bad thing.


"Arise and be all that you dreamed." ~Flyleaf

Posts: 136 | Registered: Mar 2013
Long Gone
♂ Member
Member # 32587
Default  Posted: 3:52 PM, May 21st (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I have read this thread through and through....

I have gone to the garage and duct taped my head tightly so it does not explode off my shoulders.....

FUCK THIS & THAT!!! You are getting led around by your nose in the hopes she will NOT drop you forever....brother....NUKE STRIKE......expose, 180, draw papers, everything......then see where you stand.

This shit she is pulling has MY head exploding....


D-Day 11/26/10

Posts: 772 | Registered: Jun 2011
Brokenheart777
♂ Member
Member # 38561
Default  Posted: 9:45 PM, May 21st (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Hope that you've found strength, Calkid. I hope that you've detached and worked on healing yourself. You've been living in "the Shit" for far too long with this woman and disconnecting from her fucked up selfishness is long overdue. Hoping the best for you man.


ME - A new person
HER - A waining memory
DDay - 2/22/2013
2-3 month EA/PA
Together for 6 years, ready to start my life . . .

"I can fill the flask up, but can't get past us
I'm in the storm, staying strong, but can't get back


Posts: 177 | Registered: Feb 2013
nofool4u
♂ Member
Member # 38509
Default  Posted: 9:58 AM, May 22nd (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I get what you all are saying, I do. But you are not emotionally attached to her as I am. You don't know her as I do.

And we can tell you by reading what you say she is telling you that she is lying her ass off to you, softening you up. From what she is telling you, such as telling this OM "no pussy, its calkid's", she is one smooth operator.

You really believe that if she is away and you would find nothing out as far as specifics, that she wouldn't have sex with him?

She is playing you. And the whole mental mind game of telling a guy that the other guy's dick is too small? Ya, how many times have we heard that one. She is hoping you have a big ego and that telling you OM's dick is too small will help.

Do what you think you need to do. We are seeing the bulls**t she is feeding you because we have been there and done that.
But if you think we are wrong, fine. Just at least don't swallow her lies and bulls**t.

Stand up for yourself, show her you are not going to be some wimpering puppy dog, so lovesick that you will seek to believe anything she says out of desperation to keep her.
Don't do that to yourself.


Me - fBS

Posts: 210 | Registered: Feb 2013
mike7
♂ Member
Member # 38603
Default  Posted: 11:20 AM, May 22nd (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

hope things are working out Calkid. i know its not fun to find out things about your spouse.


BH 53
WW 52
Two kids 21, 18

DDay 1/15/2013


Posts: 542 | Registered: Mar 2013
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