SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

My wedding anniversary is this Sunday. It will be 22 weeks that day since I found out about the affair and my world came crashing down. It would have been our sixth anniversary. he will spend the day with the OW. I hope I can get out of bed that day.

How did you all get through that day?

I accidently drove by the church we were married in last week and burst into tears. I have avoided going down that road, but must have been on automatic pilot.

Today, I missed the man I thought I married. Today, I missed waking up next to him, cuddling, telling him I loved him. Today, I missed the way I use to feel when he held me, at home, safe and content. Today, i am feeling confused and lost. Still feeling pain and anger. Don't know how I am going to get through this. Don't know how I have managed to get through the past five months.

Just so tired of the pain, the guilt, the anger and the sadness i have been feeling every day for the past 5 month. And now, my anniversary......

((Dawn))

It gets better with time. You have to realize that the man who used to do those things for you is gone and replaced by this person that you don't know.

You deserve better. Keep busy-exhaustion is your friend , because it doesn't give you time to dwell on these things that you can't change.

Advice from someone whose husband did come back to her: it will never be the same again. His actions have forever altered your relationship with him. If he came back to you, you would be paralyzed with fear , checking up on him, and wondering if he's telling the truth.

(((Dawn)))

I just went through the same thing for our 25th anniversary I'm not going to sugar coat it is hard but detachment was my best friend for the day ... make plans, stick to them and keep busy

Hi Dawn,

My 23rd anniversary was 10 days ago, 11 months out of D-day, and I nearly forgot it... How? Because as has been said, the person I know now is a willfully hurtful stranger who DID spend the day and night with OPOS, has taken pleasure in my pain, treated my DD like shit and a win at all cost pawn, completely unremorseful and unconcerned about what she gas done to two families.

NC really helps, as has really detaching as best I can... That means not allowing myself too much "remember when" time, and actually replacing it with the cold reality of what this monster has done, and trying to see a much better future. Believe me, I have not had a hug, or held hands going on for a year, and I am a VERY physical person... God I understand the pain, the anger, hopelessness, but it will get better for you!

You will feel a welling up of strength you did not know existed, and kick the shit out of what you are going through in TIME. Try to listen to music that inspires you, get out of bed and get moving to pump up the serotonin/endorphins, call a dear friend, go volunteer, take a great bath, go for a massage, make some great food, spoil yourself... I know it is so easy to say "don't dwell on it", but try to fill the day with very good things that will push the negative crap out of the way, and be thankful for what you do have that is good.

(((Dawn58))))

It will get better, it will!

Make plans for that day, don't be home. Yes do get out of bed, and get pretty and go out, call friends, family.

Hang in there ok?

I was too angry first anniversary post DDay to even want to observe it. In fact, that day made me ill. The second anniversary post DDay we were already separated. It didn't really affect me that much. That day is already turning into just another day on the calendar, albeit a bittersweet one.

Sweetie, it does get better with time, I promise. I don't even think about my anniversary with XWH#1 anymore. It took a couple of years not to feel sad on that day, but now it's just another day and my life with him is "just somebody that I used to know". Hang in there and do something fun Sunday to take your mind off of this.

(((HUGS)))

Mine is on Monday. Shoot me. I get my anniversary AND Mother's Day next week.

Anyway, I feel your pain. We'll get through it!

Thank you for your feedback. I have been dreading the day and am having a hard time trying to make plans. I have not been able to find a friend to make plans with. I like the idea of a massage, it has been years since the last one!!!!! I have a gift certificate for a beautiful spa, but it's up in the town I use to live in, very close to the marital home. Don't know if that is where I want to be. Afraid I could run into him and his skanky girlfriend. We lived in a small town.

My school is involved in a garden thing on Sunday and I can volunteer to sit in the school's booth, but if I am weepy, may not be up for that. Maybe just take a nice drive that day - go up to Santa Ynez Valley.

I am not good doing special things for myself. No one else is going to do that for me anymore, so I better learn how!!!

This hurts so much. Not that we ever really did anything special on our anniversary, more just the memories of the wedding day, one of the happiest and most beautiful days of my life. All the love, trust and devotion I felt towards him that day and he just threw that all away.