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Just Found Out Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: Just Trying To Breath
OneFootForward
♂ Member
Member # 39136
Default  Posted: 8:22 PM, May 8th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

She said told me, that her friend told her, that he had shacked up with someone else. This was after my WS and Om broke up. After all they went to High School together. Her friend would know. Right? Ding! She is now caught. I check on FB, the two are not friends.

I then went to my wife's friend and asked her if she knew the Om. She said she did from High School but they not talked in decades. Busted! I thanked her and came home.

I get a new D-Day, since she broke the NC. NC sometime between 4/17 and 5/1 at the very least. How long? Dont know. Dont know if I want to know. I gave her PLENTY of opportunity to come clean and she is STILL talking with him.

As soon as all the kids are in bed, it comes out. With her threatening suicide, I took all the bullets out of all of the guns in the house and hid them. So, if she wants to do something rash, it will have to be with a blade or pills. Crappy thing to say, but I think it is going to hit the fan and really soon.


Me: 42 BS
Her: 41 EMA
Married: 16 years
D-Day#1: 04/17/13
D-Day#2: 05/8/13
Children: 9,5 (girls)
Om: High School Flame
"Marital problems doesn't make someone a cheater just like financial problems doesn't make someone a thief"

Posts: 71 | Registered: Apr 2013 | From: Mobile, AL
haleyscomet
♀ Member
Member # 38250
Default  Posted: 9:15 PM, May 8th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

she broke the NC


sorry to hear OneFootForward

it sucks --- they KNOW how much they hurt us and what they have to lose and STILL they act so selfishly --

(she) was "glad" I caught her so the lies would end

just another lie

maddening - I know.

not fair that she wants to play martyr and that you're supposed to comfort HER (again)

if she don't calm down call her parents--- you don't need a mentally/ emotionally unstable woman threatening suicide carrying on in your home with your children


me: bgf - 46
him: wwbf - 40
lived together 2-1/2 years
dday1 dec 16 2012 found texts
dday2 dec 29 2012 intercepted texts
dday3 feb 20 2013 found texts during false R
status: its over


Posts: 68 | Registered: Jan 2013
haleyscomet
♀ Member
Member # 38250
Exclaimation  Posted: 9:20 PM, May 8th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I think it is going to hit the fan and really soon

get another party involved -- if you have to call an ambulance or the police to deal with her threats


me: bgf - 46
him: wwbf - 40
lived together 2-1/2 years
dday1 dec 16 2012 found texts
dday2 dec 29 2012 intercepted texts
dday3 feb 20 2013 found texts during false R
status: its over


Posts: 68 | Registered: Jan 2013
OneFootForward
♂ Member
Member # 39136
Default  Posted: 9:34 PM, May 8th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Kids went to bed and it hit the fan. I told her that one and one did not equal twelve; she had nothing to say. She said her friend said it, but her friend did not. So now she says she has no idea why she said it. She says its the truth, crying, flailing arms, all of it... still feels like a lie.

She took all the "love notes" I have written her in the past few weeks and threw them in the trash. She said she cant handle it anymore. I think my R just turned into a D.


Me: 42 BS
Her: 41 EMA
Married: 16 years
D-Day#1: 04/17/13
D-Day#2: 05/8/13
Children: 9,5 (girls)
Om: High School Flame
"Marital problems doesn't make someone a cheater just like financial problems doesn't make someone a thief"

Posts: 71 | Registered: Apr 2013 | From: Mobile, AL
haleyscomet
♀ Member
Member # 38250
Default  Posted: 10:25 PM, May 8th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I think my R just turned into a D.

sorry for your continued pain...

find out your rights...

She said she would leave and I could have the kids


tell her you'll take her up on that offer

don't let her get you to leave the house

don't let her bait you into fighting --- she's already threatened suicide -- how far might she push you to make herself the victim?

might she go so far as to hurt herself and blame you? (to get you taken away)

i think it may be best to withdraw and gather your thoughts

i never got anywhere trying to talk to my WXBF... just lies denial and aggravation -- drunken ranting....

let her wonder what your plans are...

turn on TV and zone out -- for now just dis-engage

take care OneFootForward


me: bgf - 46
him: wwbf - 40
lived together 2-1/2 years
dday1 dec 16 2012 found texts
dday2 dec 29 2012 intercepted texts
dday3 feb 20 2013 found texts during false R
status: its over


Posts: 68 | Registered: Jan 2013
OneFootForward
♂ Member
Member # 39136
Default  Posted: 10:05 AM, May 10th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Wednesday night was bad. Thursday morning, while shorter, was no better.

I did some financial grunt work and went an see an attorney. Among other things I told the attorney about the Om, his year in the mental institution and has ban from driving in Alabama. He said that was pretty serious and did some digging. Turns out, the Om has some recent traffic tickets and parking citations. How did he get a traffic ticket if he was banned from driving? Someone was lying. Maybe the Om for sympathy. Not sure.

I then went to see the MC solo and broke down what has been happening. I showed him all the texts and emails. I told him I did not want this to be a bash session on WS but I wanted him to know everything. I was going to tell my WS what I gave him too. We talked for about an hour.

My WS and I met at the MC about 30 min prior. Every time I talked, it was thrown back in my face in some sort of negative way. It was like I was trying to fight the surf. I told her I consulted an attorney and she told me to get out of her car. I said I would not. I told her I wanted to find out what my options were because it seemed she had given up. I also said a D attorney is the only person I could talk to about mental health issues without them reporting. If I went to a doc and showed them the emails, they would be forced to report. Attorneys are bound. The attorney was not shooting to use the info in a negative way, but he said he would sure use it that way. I told my WS I was serious about moving forward: I was either all in for R or I was all in for D. I was going to get out of the car and if she drove off, it was D. She went in with me to see the MC.

We had a very intense session and it was not easy.

1. The pills for my WS's depression may be masking her problems because the sure are not dealing with them. Now the A has come up, she has more than she can deal with. Masking tape as a great thing, but to much weight and it will not hold... everything comes falling out of the box. He seriously recommended seeing someone outside his office and gave a few recommendations.

2. If my anger get worse, I need to see someone for PTSD. I told him I was planning on seeing someone and I will starting looking for one at lunch today.

3. He asked if she had any more questions about my porn or me with the A/Om. We both said no. He said had we forgiven each other of the errors we made. We both said yes. He said then we need to go put it in a glass house out back. We could still look at it, but don't dwell on it. And absolutely no taking plants and bringing them back inside the house.

4. The MC was mifted about the last contact after her adamant agreement to NC. He told her it was obvious why I went into a tail spin over it. Not just that there was a contact "saying no contact" but the contact said "Goodbye My Love". This is not a hard break for anyone. Also, if the Om tries to contact her, she should tell me immediately. If there is any email, I should see them, etc. Deleting them and having to ask about the Om to see if there was attempted contact is only hurting the BS, and destroying trust.

Last night was pretty calm. She sacked out around 7:30 and I did around 8:00 after putting the kids to bed. I don't recall dreaming at all. I am pretty wasted still, my digestive track is a mess and people are complementing me at work about my weight loss (what was my secret?) LOL.

Mothers' Day is the weekend and I don't have a clue about what to do. I am going to have my kids get something together (duh) but.. if I give her something does it come across wrong but if I don't give her something I was not thinking about her?? Gah?!


Me: 42 BS
Her: 41 EMA
Married: 16 years
D-Day#1: 04/17/13
D-Day#2: 05/8/13
Children: 9,5 (girls)
Om: High School Flame
"Marital problems doesn't make someone a cheater just like financial problems doesn't make someone a thief"

Posts: 71 | Registered: Apr 2013 | From: Mobile, AL
Topic Posts: 26
Pages: 1 · 2

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