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mainlyinpain (original poster member #39134) posted at 11:56 PM on Wednesday, May 1st, 2013
How do you find a good...make that the best divorce lawyer in your area?
I just found out last night for sure that my husband is still with the OW...He denies it and first said please stay with me for the rest of my life but I just called him for the fourth time today and he is irritated and I asked him if he wants to be with me for the rest of his life and he said I don't know because you are driving me crazy. So hurtful...the first time he has said that and then he hung up on me....I think this is finally it.
I feel like I don't know anything and have to be someone I am not.
I am in Chicago northern suburbs. I am very afraid that my husband will have a cutthroat attorney and I don't know how to figure out who is good.
nowiknow23 ( member #33226) posted at 12:01 AM on Thursday, May 2nd, 2013
Word of mouth is usually the best information. Do you know anyone who has divorced in your area? They usually will either love or hate their attorney. A "don't even think about using this guy" is just as valuable as a gold star recommendation.
You can call me NIK
And never grow a wishbone, daughter, where your backbone ought to be.
― Sarah McMane
somanyyears ( member #26970) posted at 12:05 AM on Thursday, May 2nd, 2013
..you call them, ask to meet them in person, ask them to open their mouth...
..look inside... if you can see 3 rows of serrated, triangular teeth, then 'that's the one you want'!!!
..good luck..
..on a side note.. it was my bf and our lawyer who betrayed me with my wife..
..lawyers???? 
smy
trust no other human- love only your pets. Reconciled I think! Me 77 Her 74 Married 52 yrs. 18 yr LTA with bff/lawyer. Little fucker died at 57.Brain tumour!
roughroadahead ( member #36060) posted at 4:21 AM on Thursday, May 2nd, 2013
Thanks a lot, smy! 
Your best bet is to call around. Because there are way more lawyers out there than you can reasonably speak to, try to find one who practices family law primarily, if not exclusively. Because divorce provides a pretty steady income stream, there are plenty of lawyers who practice family when whatever they really do is on the wane. You want someone experienced.
Once you have some names, google them. There are plenty of websites out there that provide reviews from clients, ratings from peers etc. Once you have it narrowed down to a number you can handle, start talking to them. You'll need some basic info to share with all of them. Beware the L who promises you the moon. Err on the side of a firm, if not aggressive personality, but not someone who seems full of hot air.
Trust your gut. You can always fire a lawyer at any time for any reason (note they cannot "fire" you without a damn good reason) so if you're not happy, find someone else.
You didn't hear this from me, but the conflict rules in most states prevent a lawyer from taking on WH if you've had a consult with them and shared significant info about your case....
[This message edited by roughroadahead at 10:26 PM, May 1st (Wednesday)]
BS-Me 30s
WS-Him 30s
D-Day 4/2012 (Insisted EA only)
D-Day 5/2012 (Did I say EA? Ummm..)
Numerous other TT/broken NC d-days until S 1/2013. D settled 11/2013
MOW-coworker, 40s.
2 DS and DD all w/autism
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