SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

I posted this on another thread the other day but I feel it warrants its own thread.

I had such a good IC on Monday. I came to realise that I really don't want the relationship I had with my xWS. Since having children I have spent so much time on my own looking after them whilst he focused on his career and eventually had an affair with a work colleague. I spent so much time feeling depressed and isolated and I pleaded with him so many times to help but he never did. Once I had to nurture our children and not him he went elsewhere. He never appreciated what I had done to do the best for our children and he never tried to nurture me or look after me.

I've realised that he is a mummy's boy. Since finding out about the affair he has never come clean or shown remorse. He confessed everything to his mother yet didnt to me. The only time I get any truth out if him is from sending an angry text to which he replies with the truth in an angry manner.

I now know I no longer wish to be in such an unhealthy relationship with someone who takes so much. I've realised I need someone who is going to insist on treating me and taking me out to dinner to show how much he appreciates me being at home with the kids all day. I always was the one who suggested that we do things even though I always asked him to take the lead, he never did.

Two children are enough to look after not three!

I really feel I have turned a corner in my healing and feel so much more at peace :)

There is nothing in your profile explaining your story but it is wonderful that you have reached this stage...It is a turning point for so many of us!!!

Dindy - that is a big realization. I'm so very glad you have reached a point of peace.

I've realised I need someone who is going to insist on treating me and taking me out to dinner to show how much he appreciates me being at home with the kids all day.

Just want to leave you something to think about here. That "need" is likely a "want" in reality.

As you move forward, continue to heal, and build your life, remember that you are enough. And you, not anyone else, are responsible for your care and feeding, including recognizing all you do for your kids, treating yourself to fun times, and refilling your tank.

Nothing wrong with wanting a partner to share your life with, but consider how wonderfully empowering it is to want someone there rather than need them.

((((dindy))))

Your exactly right nowiknow, I do mean want and not need. I do already feel empowered now that I am not putting energy into someonewho isn ot giving it back. :)

I will update my profile so that my full story is there.

I have updated my profile! :)

We had damn near the same realization this morning. I really don't want his ass. We must be twins! *hugs*