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Newest Member: SoLostStillNumb (44248)

Just Found Out Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: OW has cancer
refuz2bavictim
♀ Member
Member # 27176
Default  Posted: 3:33 PM, May 2nd (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

He said he wanted to get updates on the OWs condition.

This is the real problem IMO. I like to think of NC not only as NO CONTACT, but also as NOT CARING.

Whether she lives or dies, wins the lottery, grows an extra breast or becomes a nun.....she needs to be buried in the past of his regret and remorse.

She is fishing, and he is taking the bait.



BS:ME DDay: 7/18/09 Last of TT 7/11/10
MOW's EA/PA all were my "friends" but one


Posts: 2372 | Registered: Jan 2010
NoraLee
♀ Member
Member # 37922
Default  Posted: 10:35 PM, May 2nd (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

This would be a deal breaker for me. His reply to the sister should've been, " your sister's health is no concern of mine. Next time please call someone who gives a damn." NC includes head space...and if he's still in the A mentally, R AND your healing can not happen. Hopefully this is a glitch you can get over...there's been glitches in my R process too - and it took my making H see it from a healthy perspective to see the err in his thought processes.


Me - BW - 44
Him - FWH - 42
Married 16 years
D day - 1/2 truth - July 2012
Full disclosure - August 2012
EA with skanky waitress coworker
3 kids - 14, 16, 21
In R

Posts: 791 | Registered: Dec 2012 | From: Canada
cosmicjoke
♀ Member
Member # 39159
Default  Posted: 10:57 PM, May 2nd (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Sounds like a pathetic plea for sympathy to me. Even if not.. Who cares? Why does your hub need to know....?

refuz: 'I like to think of NC not only as NO CONTACT, but also as NOT CARING'.........
Perfect!! Thanks for that..!!


Posts: 110 | Registered: May 2013
willowiris
♀ Member
Member # 5372
Default  Posted: 11:10 PM, May 2nd (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Honestly, I am wondering if this is even true. There has been OW with made up fatal illnesses here in the past. I think it might be the second oldest ploy in the book (after faking pregnancy and then miscarriage)

Please, get tested for HIV again. Twice (6 months apart) is good. Although, her lymphoma could be from something else. I work in a cancer clinic. Most of our cases of cancer are NOT from HIV, but from...cancer. People get cancer. Good people, skanky people. all kinds of people.

It is NOT wrong to wish her dead. she intentionally inflicted horrible pain on you without regard to you.

As for your husband, no contact means NO CONTACT. No, he cannot get information on her. NO, he cannot talk to her. YOU are the priority. She is now nothing, and he had better act like it.


D-day 09/2004
Filed for divorce 9/2006

We accept the love we think we deserve. "The Perks of Being a Wallflower."


Posts: 12326 | Registered: Sep 2004 | From: Margaritaville
karmahappens
♀ Member
Member # 35846
Default  Posted: 11:19 PM, May 2nd (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I would bet that 99.999% of us BSs feel the exact same way. Matter of fact, if I heard that the OW in my sitch had cancer, I would buy a bottle of champagne.
I'll drink to that!!

I am drinking now, just in case I missed the call....


I kid, I kid...

Seriously though, don't feel bad. I am sure we have all felt this way (((hugs)))


“And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom”
Anaïs Nin
Me: 45
Him: 47
Dday 8/2007
We have R'd

Posts: 3772 | Registered: Jun 2012 | From: Massachusetts
RidingHealingRd
♀ Member
Member # 33867
Default  Posted: 12:48 AM, May 3rd (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

He said he wanted to get updates on the OWs condition.

Really??? A remorseful WH shouldn't give a shit what her condition is. Not very remorseful now is he?

I don't care if she dies-I am disgusted with myself for being able to say that.

I would hope that she dies - I am NOT disgusted with myself for being able to say that!


ME: 54 BS
HIM: 61 WH
Married: 28 years
D'Day: 10/29/10
in R 3.5 years and it's working but he is putting 200% into it (as he should) to make it right again.

The truth hurts, but I have never seen it cause the pain that lies do.


Posts: 2089 | Registered: Nov 2011
Diva0702
♀ Member
Member # 32309
Default  Posted: 4:34 AM, May 3rd (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I would actually say VERY LOUDLY.... "Would you mind dying quietly please"!!!!!


Me: BW 53
Him: FWH 47
4 wonderful grown children
2 beautiful grandchildren
Married 20 years
Together 23 years
Dday March 10 2010. 4 yr A.
Me: RGN(ret), N.Dip.,BA(Psych),MA (Psych),BA Music.
OW: 55 year old taxi driver

Posts: 333 | Registered: May 2011 | From: UK
mchercheur
♀ Member
Member # 37735
Default  Posted: 8:14 AM, May 3rd (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Yes--stop wasting the world's oxygen supply.


together 25 yrs, married 24 yrs, 4 children;Rebuilding
D Day: 5/10/2011 PA
OW: WH's co-worker,divorced, no children, 20 yrs younger than I-----& she knew he was married, had met our kids, but that did not stop her from trying to destroy our family

Posts: 1337 | Registered: Dec 2012
Ascendant
♂ Member
Member # 38303
Default  Posted: 8:28 AM, May 3rd (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Early after DDAY, my wife gave me the craziest look ever when I told her that if POSOM ever got hit by a bus (karma- or otherwise), or fell ill, or killed himself (plz, plz, plz), I would throw a party. And I really would. I would have a raging kegger, and I'd probably invite his family and friends.


"The thing that always seems to be shocking to wayward wives is the simple fact that the man you choose to reconcile with is not the same man you cheated on." - a friend.

Posts: 1937 | Registered: Jan 2013 | From: Illinois
LonelyHusband
♂ Member
Member # 34145
Default  Posted: 8:37 AM, May 3rd (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm not saying tomorrow will be the same, but today i couldn't give a flying fuck about the OM. Don't think I'd feel anything at all if I heard he had cancer. It would just register as gossip and then pass me by.

I'm taking this as good news. A few months back I'd have thought something similar if not worse than you, so don't feel bad about it. It's natural to feel the desire for revenge or justice. It's adult to restrain from acting upon those thoughts.


BS ( me) 41
fWS (OktoberMest) 35
D day #1 29/10/2011, D day #2 15/112011, D day #3 15/03/2012
Reconciling.
“It’s better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all”, is inadequate consolation when you vacuum up a child's hamster'

Posts: 1290 | Registered: Dec 2011 | From: UK
Topic Posts: 30
Pages: 1 · 2

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