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New Beginnings Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: What goes up...
wonderingbull
♂ Member
Member # 14833
Default  Posted: 11:01 AM, May 2nd (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Must come down...

I've been sensing something was wrong with KD but believed it was the stress of dealing with the mother of her grand daughter...

Well, it wasn't... Last night we went to dinner and then to a Fleetwood Mac concert... We've gone to a lot of concerts... That's one thing her ex hated and she likes to do... Well, she acted like it was a hassel even being there with me...

This morning I got a text apologizing for her attitude saying the grand daughter thing was weighing on her...

A few minutes after that I got a breakup text!!!!! You know, the we need to reevaluate the relationship thing... Citing age differences, me wearing (nice) shorts, PDA's and then a dig comparing me and her ex...

Oh well.... It was a fun ride... I was fine before her and I'll be fine after her...

Jeeezzzz, I thought going to a Fleetwood concert would be a good thing! I did enjoy them for the 6th time... KD not so much...

WB


The secret of life is enjoying the passage of time...

James Taylor


Posts: 5984 | Registered: Jun 2007 | From: A better place
Newlease
♀ Member
Member # 7767
Default  Posted: 11:04 AM, May 2nd (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm so sorry to hear this. Break up by text? After all this time?

You are putting on a brave face, but I know it hurts.

And if this is just a temporary thing - make sure you guard against being jerked around. She will probably regret this sooner or later.

Sending strength and peace.

NL


Even if you can't control the world around you, you are still the master of your own soul.

Posts: 7752 | Registered: Aug 2005
nowiknow23
♀ Guide
Member # 33226
Default  Posted: 11:24 AM, May 2nd (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

((((WB)))) I'm so sorry.

A few minutes after that I got a breakup text!!!!! You know, the we need to reevaluate the relationship thing... Citing age differences, me wearing (nice) shorts, PDA's and then a dig comparing me and her ex...
Wow. You deserve far better than that, WB. Please be easy on yourself while you process this.


You can call me NIK

"If you carry joy in your heart, you can heal any moment."
- Carlos Santana


Posts: 25850 | Registered: Aug 2011
wonderingbull
♂ Member
Member # 14833
Default  Posted: 11:24 AM, May 2nd (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thanks NL.... It is a real shock... I really thought we had something special... I thought we'd jumped over some hurdles and understood each other better by being there when life threw us each curveballs...

I believed we communicated well and recently I've asked her if there was anything more I could do to help her during the mess with her grand daughter... She said no and thanked me for being so supportive...

And if this is just a temporary thing - make sure you guard against being jerked around. She will probably regret this sooner or later.

Who knows if it's temporary... I'm ready if this is permanant... I certainly don't want to be with someone who doesn't want to be with me... The ex taught me that... There will be no chasing, begging, pleading or anything else on my part... I learned the power of NC....

One thing I do know is that the next guy she dates better be deaf because she can't speak one paragraph without referring to her ex husband by name at least twice...

I'll miss having a companion to do things with though...

WB


The secret of life is enjoying the passage of time...

James Taylor


Posts: 5984 | Registered: Jun 2007 | From: A better place
kernel
♀ Member
Member # 27035
Default  Posted: 11:25 AM, May 2nd (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

((WB)) Wow, a text. That was cold. I'm sorry, it must really hurt. You're right though - you'll be okay.


"On particularly rough days when I'm sure I can't possibly endure, I like to remind myself that my track record for getting through bad days so far is 100% and that's pretty good."

Posts: 5329 | Registered: Jan 2010 | From: Midwest
lieshurt
♀ Member
Member # 14003
Default  Posted: 11:32 AM, May 2nd (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm sorry WB. I know it sucks and it hurts.

(((WB)))


comparing me and her ex

Didn't she do this before WB? From some of the things you described on here before, I think she just hasn't let go of her ex.



Walk away from anything or anyone who takes away your joy. Life is too short to put up with fools.

Posts: 13818 | Registered: Mar 2007 | From: Houston
wonderingbull
♂ Member
Member # 14833
Default  Posted: 11:32 AM, May 2nd (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Wow. You deserve far better than that, WB. Please be easy on yourself while you process this.

Thanks NIK.... I thought the whole text was pretty damn petty and insulting... Since she's been communicating with the mother of her grand daughter through marathon texting I guess she's gone to the middle school method of communication...

Actually, she'd have to beg me to even consider going back... You know what we say around here... When people show you who they are.... believe them...

You know... I've actually bounced right to the anger stage...

Her loss...

WB


The secret of life is enjoying the passage of time...

James Taylor


Posts: 5984 | Registered: Jun 2007 | From: A better place
veritas
♀ Member
Member # 3525
Default  Posted: 11:36 AM, May 2nd (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((wb))) I am in shock! It sounded like you did have something special, but Miss Thing can't handle special. It IS her loss...


Actions unmask what words disguise.
Love many; trust few; and always paddle your own canoe.
When you win, you teach; when you lose, you learn.

Posts: 10168 | Registered: Feb 2004
nowiknow23
♀ Guide
Member # 33226
Default  Posted: 11:36 AM, May 2nd (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Her loss...
Word.


You can call me NIK

"If you carry joy in your heart, you can heal any moment."
- Carlos Santana


Posts: 25850 | Registered: Aug 2011
wonderingbull
♂ Member
Member # 14833
Default  Posted: 11:44 AM, May 2nd (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Yeah lieshurt... She's got a huge hangup about her ex...

As she always told me, she loved the way I was younger, energetic, loved to go places and do things... She complimented me on my casual and dress up styles... Now she's using those as "reasons" for her problems...

She'll figure out what she's missing when all she does is get up, go to work, go home and go to bed... Just like she was before me... By that time I'll already be happily on my way...

I really think I was a rebound for her... I'd hoped not but if so, so be it...

WB


The secret of life is enjoying the passage of time...

James Taylor


Posts: 5984 | Registered: Jun 2007 | From: A better place
wonderingbull
♂ Member
Member # 14833
Default  Posted: 11:46 AM, May 2nd (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

What cracks me up is the "younger" thing.... Holy shit! I'm 53 and I'm too young????

Oh... BTW... I've now got an extra ticket to Paul McCartney!

WB


The secret of life is enjoying the passage of time...

James Taylor


Posts: 5984 | Registered: Jun 2007 | From: A better place
jo2love
♀ Moderator
Member # 31528
Default  Posted: 11:50 AM, May 2nd (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((WB)))


Posts: 36058 | Registered: Mar 2011
EvenKeel
♀ Member
Member # 24210
Default  Posted: 11:51 AM, May 2nd (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

me wearing (nice) shorts

Well, I guess we all have dealbreakers....but really??????

I am so sorry!

PS - that whole thing with her references to her ex - yuck. Yep - she definitely needs to do some work on that first before she is ready for NB.


Eyes are useless if the mind is blind.


Posts: 2185 | Registered: May 2009 | From: Pa
lieshurt
♀ Member
Member # 14003
Default  Posted: 11:55 AM, May 2nd (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Oh... BTW... I've now got an extra ticket to Paul McCartney!

You won't have a problem finding somebody else to go with you to that concert.


Walk away from anything or anyone who takes away your joy. Life is too short to put up with fools.

Posts: 13818 | Registered: Mar 2007 | From: Houston
wonderingbull
♂ Member
Member # 14833
Default  Posted: 11:58 AM, May 2nd (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

As a 63 year old pediatrician on a date with a young guy in shorts with public PDA just bothers me and maybe shouldn't but does.

That's just one part of her text... BTW.. it was 85 degrees, we sat outside to eat and the shorts were fresh from the cleaners and pressed... My shirt was a starched button down...

The PDA was me touching her hand while waiting on our dinner...

I guess my deal breaker is her attitude...

WB


The secret of life is enjoying the passage of time...

James Taylor


Posts: 5984 | Registered: Jun 2007 | From: A better place
lieshurt
♀ Member
Member # 14003
Default  Posted: 12:01 PM, May 2nd (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

a young guy in shorts with public PDA

The nerve of you WB


Walk away from anything or anyone who takes away your joy. Life is too short to put up with fools.

Posts: 13818 | Registered: Mar 2007 | From: Houston
Amazonia
♀ Member
Member # 32810
Default  Posted: 12:25 PM, May 2nd (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm sorry, WB.

I thought you guys had it really good. I'm sorry that she's dealing with things in the way she is, and that she doesn't seem to see what a great thing you two could have together. I agree wholeheartedly that you deserve better, and am heartened to see you demanding it, taking this all in stride.

(((hugs))) for when you need them.


"You yourself deserve your love and affection as much as anybody in the universe." -Buddha
"Let's face it, life is a crap shoot." -Sad in AZ

Posts: 13813 | Registered: Jul 2011
meaniemouse
♀ Member
Member # 10798
Default  Posted: 12:26 PM, May 2nd (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

WB--I'm so sorry--I really enjoyed reading your posts about your relationship and especially appreciated when you gave great advice to me specifically when I had concerns about mine.

It seems like she was stretching pretty far to find a reason to end the relationship. Shorts when the temp is 85? Horrors!! How could you?? Touching someone's hand in public? OMG---Someone call the police!!

Reading between the lines--do you think it was WAY more about the age difference and her feeling old than anything you did wrong?

Maybe the old Fleetwood Mac songs triggered her feelings of lost youth and regrets about her ex and the way their marriage fell apart and she is just feeling OLD. She probably sees you as not only younger in age but in personality and spirit and maybe doesn't feel like she can keep up for the long haul. KD may be thinking that one day you will see her the way she sees herself so better for her self esteem to end it now and use the reasons she stated in her text rather than facing the fact that she is, indeed, aging.

Again, I'm sorry this happened to you. It really doesn't appear that you have done anything but be yourself, respect this woman for who she is and what she is and be a loving and fun partner. Let her go and mourn her lost marriage and exhusband, her youth and whatever else is causing her distress.

But. . . when she starts to mourn what she really lost--YOU---I hope you are too busy to be bothered.


PS--Fleetwood Mac was here in town on Tuesday--I'm so bummed that I missed it.


Act as if what you do matters. It does. William James

Posts: 2128 | Registered: May 2006 | From: Midwest
OnceInALifetime
♂ Member
Member # 26023
Default  Posted: 12:42 PM, May 2nd (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

How incredibly lame. I admire how you're taking it in stride and see her reasoning and behavior around it for what it is: ludicrous.

Now you've learned your lesson. The next person you date, no shorts or hand holding in public (no matter the weather). Communicate only by text, because anything else is too close for comfort. And use age-accelerating cream, *especially* if you're dating a pediatrician, because there must be no doubt that she's not dating one of her patients.


BH, now divorced

Posts: 3012 | Registered: Oct 2009
need_hope
♀ Member
Member # 23989
Default  Posted: 12:50 PM, May 2nd (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Well that just sucks.

((((WB))))


Me - happily single
Him - no longer matters
Married 28 yrs
Filed for D 1/10
DIVORCED 12/12

Tact is for people who aren't witty enough to be sarcastic.


Posts: 1743 | Registered: May 2009 | From: East Coast
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