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New Beginnings Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: What goes up...
wonderingbull
♂ Member
Member # 14833
Default  Posted: 12:51 PM, May 2nd (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Hey meanie :-)

I don't know what set her off... Trying to figure it out does me no good... It wasn't the concert... She'd been "off" since the crap with her grand daughter blew up but I did all I could do to support her through that...

Feeling old? Holy shit... Don't we all...

Bouncing right into the angry stage is protecting me from a lot of feelings now... The rose color glasses have definitely come off...

What really pisses me off is her using the "pediatrician" bullshit... I make more fucking money in oil and gas than she does!

I've typed out an angry text and am resisting sending it.... Thinking I'll drop by her house while she's at work and pick up my things and leave her key and a note saying...

"Classy breakup text... Good luck..."

WB


The secret of life is enjoying the passage of time...

James Taylor


Posts: 5969 | Registered: Jun 2007 | From: A better place
wonderingbull
♂ Member
Member # 14833
Default  Posted: 12:54 PM, May 2nd (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Now you've learned your lesson. The next person you date, no shorts or hand holding in public (no matter the weather). Communicate only by text, because anything else is too close for comfort. And use age-accelerating cream, *especially* if you're dating a pediatrician, because there must be no doubt that she's not dating one of her patients.

Oh OIAL.... that's a good one!

WB


The secret of life is enjoying the passage of time...

James Taylor


Posts: 5969 | Registered: Jun 2007 | From: A better place
meaniemouse
♀ Member
Member # 10798
Default  Posted: 1:13 PM, May 2nd (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

WB--yeah, don't send the angry text. It might feel good for a minute or two after you hit send but it doesn't sound like your style.

I vote for picking up your stuff while she's gone and leaving the key with no note. Sometimes nothing speaks as loud as silence.

And yes, good sir, everyone feels old. But as someone who is looking at 57,
(OMG,OMG, OMG--why is this happening????? TO ME????)
with many friends in the same boat, women are judged more harshly when it comes to aging than men are. Even if we have accomplished lots and generally have healthy self-esteem, aging gracefully and accepting it, is more of a challenge for women than it is for men. No matter how good you look and feel, inside and outside.

Now excuse me while I continue my search for the fountain of youth. I have to find it before old age seizes me and drags me to the gates of the abyss.



Act as if what you do matters. It does. William James

Posts: 2099 | Registered: May 2006 | From: Midwest
Crescita
♀ Member
Member # 32616
Default  Posted: 1:27 PM, May 2nd (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

It sounds like she spent too much of the relationship on the outside looking in rather than just appreciating it for what it was. Usually you get to a point in your life when you realize the people you have been trying to impress aren’t worth impressing. You’d think a grandmother and professional would have picked that up already. At least she let you know she is one of the people you don’t have to worry about impressing.

Posts: 3321 | Registered: Jun 2011 | From: The Valley of the Sun
ManBearDivorce
♂ Member
Member # 36258
Default  Posted: 1:31 PM, May 2nd (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((WB)))

Big Man Bear hugs to you!!! You have been through alot. Early on when you mentioned that she was always mentioning her x, I was really concerned about it. One thing is that you let go of your past and move on. Certainly I believe she hasn't but its my opinion. Well you are taking it classy and I give you props.

Give this man a hand!!! Lol.


Posts: 339 | Registered: Jul 2012 | From: St.Paul Minnesota
fadedrainbow
♀ Member
Member # 9280
Default  Posted: 1:41 PM, May 2nd (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Shorts? PDA? A breakup text????? I am so sorry, what's wrong with people? ((((wondering bull)))


me: FBW
D-Day May 2005
divorced December 2009


Posts: 133 | Registered: Jan 2006 | From: UK
wonderingbull
♂ Member
Member # 14833
Default  Posted: 1:44 PM, May 2nd (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Things picked up, key left and a note saying:

I apologize for being younger and embarrassing.

If there is anything I left feel free to throw it away.

The key is on your back porch.

WB

What's odd is that I'm more pissed than anything... I mean... What a bitch... Thinking she's better somehow than me because she's a fucking pediatrician?

She can pine the fuck away for her NPD ex or find some other asshole to put up with her shallow ass...

I might be venting a bit here in the near future rather than engage with her...

WB


The secret of life is enjoying the passage of time...

James Taylor


Posts: 5969 | Registered: Jun 2007 | From: A better place
5454real
♂ Member
Member # 37455
Default  Posted: 1:53 PM, May 2nd (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Can't wait to see if she responds! Great response to her.


BH 51, WW 42
DS 23(Mine),SD 21,SS 20(Hers),DS 9 Ours, DGS 3, DGD 1 mo
D=Day #1 5/04EA (Rugswept)
D-Day #2 3/10/12, TT til 3/13/12
Married 10yrs
“I have no love for a friend who loves in words alone.”
― Sophocles, Antigone

Posts: 2675 | Registered: Nov 2012 | From: midwest
h0peless
♂ Member
Member # 36697
Default  Posted: 1:53 PM, May 2nd (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((WB

I had been following your story since I registered. I'm really sorry she got hung up on such childish and stupid things. Sounds like the whole talking about her ex thing was a huge red flag right from the start. Onward to better things, I guess.

(They weren't jorts, were they?)

[This message edited by h0peless at 1:54 PM, May 2nd (Thursday)]


Posts: 1645 | Registered: Sep 2012 | From: Baja Arizona
meaniemouse
♀ Member
Member # 10798
Default  Posted: 1:59 PM, May 2nd (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Doesn't sound odd to me. Sounds pretty normal. Vent away. The more vitriol the better. Call me crazy (and many do) but I think it's healthy and cleansing to do it in a safe place.

Plus I took today off, it's too nasty to go out and I love to read vents. I pick up the best lines from SI.


Act as if what you do matters. It does. William James

Posts: 2099 | Registered: May 2006 | From: Midwest
cayc
♀ Member
Member # 21964
Default  Posted: 2:03 PM, May 2nd (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

That's just odd what she did and I'm very sorry to hear this. Glad you're holding your own in response.

And I *love* Fleetwood Mac. And Paul McCartney. And men in shorts She's missing out imho.


"The difference between involvement and commitment is like ham and eggs. The chicken is involved, the pig is committed." -Martina Navratilova
"The question isn't who is going to let me; it's who is going to stop me." -Ayn Rand

Posts: 3043 | Registered: Dec 2008 | From: Mexico
tryingagain74
♀ Member
Member # 33698
Default  Posted: 2:18 PM, May 2nd (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm sorry, WB. She sounds like she was really grasping at straws to find reasons to break up with you, so it's definitely not you. I mean... shorts!?!? Who says that?!?

Sending you positive, comforting vibes.


BS (Me) 39
Happily liberated!
Two DS and One DD
It matters not how strait the gate,/How charged with punishments the scroll./I am the master of my fate:/I am the captain of my soul.--"Invictus," William Ernest Henley

Posts: 3571 | Registered: Oct 2011
wonderingbull
♂ Member
Member # 14833
Default  Posted: 2:26 PM, May 2nd (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

What's fucking ironic is that the first and only time we had a spat she wrote out a note by hand because she said she's just that way.... She doesn't do texting.... Bullshit...

I could care less if she responds or not... Right now I'm not fucking interested in her thoughts or feelings about anything...

I bent over fucking backwards accomodating her schedule... Anytime there was something that came up about her grand daughter our plans flew out the window...

Hell I even bought a twice as expensive plane ticket for her to go on a trip with me because of a last minute "change of plans" grand daughter deal... Guess I'm the sucker now...

I've overlooked an awful lot of baggage she brought with her... I did it because at our ages everyone has it but.... I didn't call bullshit on certain things... Like her always referring to her ex...

I mean... Everyone of my friends she was ever around mentioned how much she talked about him... She met a ton of my friends...

She doesn't really have any friends either... The only one's she has are her ex husband's sisters...

Boy oh boy.... It will be good seeing my friends this evening... She'll be home alone just like she was before me...

FTG

WB


The secret of life is enjoying the passage of time...

James Taylor


Posts: 5969 | Registered: Jun 2007 | From: A better place
kernel
♀ Member
Member # 27035
Default  Posted: 2:47 PM, May 2nd (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

WB - vent away and crickets to her. It sounds more and more like you dodged a bullet - you were giving way more than you were getting. I think there needs to be more of a balance, regardless of the baggage each person has. Stay away from her, and call your friends to hang out when the mad wears off. You deserve better then some holier-than-thou-please worship me because I'm a doctor and you aren't- prima donna. FTG indeed. (I really have a problem with people that try to make others feel less than - can you tell?)


"On particularly rough days when I'm sure I can't possibly endure, I like to remind myself that my track record for getting through bad days so far is 100% - and that's pretty good."

Posts: 5004 | Registered: Jan 2010 | From: Midwest
MoeGreen63
♂ Member
Member # 6832
Default  Posted: 3:03 PM, May 2nd (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Shorts? Really? She was really reaching on that one. Even if she didn't say it... it really isn't you, it's her. Wow. Shorts.

Unless of course you were wearing shorts with a Tuxedo or something.


Posts: 14112 | Registered: Apr 2005
wonderingbull
♂ Member
Member # 14833
Default  Posted: 3:12 PM, May 2nd (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thanks Kernel

I'm a fortunate guy in that I've got a great group of friends both male and female... We've all been in and out of the wringer enough and helped each other through it...

You have to be fucking kidding me... Because she's a 63 y.o. pediatrician my wearing shorts matters how? Really?

I think I did dodge a bullet now that I'm wrapping my mind around this...

Thank God... No more Fox News!

WB


The secret of life is enjoying the passage of time...

James Taylor


Posts: 5969 | Registered: Jun 2007 | From: A better place
h0peless
♂ Member
Member # 36697
Default  Posted: 3:16 PM, May 2nd (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thank God... No more Fox News!

That would be a deal breaking red flag for me!


Posts: 1645 | Registered: Sep 2012 | From: Baja Arizona
kernel
♀ Member
Member # 27035
Default  Posted: 3:17 PM, May 2nd (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

LOL on Fox news! I wish I could get my Mom to quit watching it.


"On particularly rough days when I'm sure I can't possibly endure, I like to remind myself that my track record for getting through bad days so far is 100% - and that's pretty good."

Posts: 5004 | Registered: Jan 2010 | From: Midwest
cass
♀ Member
Member # 24261
Default  Posted: 3:36 PM, May 2nd (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Oh boy, is she so the loser here?

I'm sorry WB, sorry that you invested as much as you did. She may be a pediatrician but so what? She's an idiot who has learned nothing about life, relationships or people.

It has nothing to do with you so leave her to her problems, memories she hasn't reconciled, and an empty future.

Grieve, analyse, accept and move on. You know your deserve so much more.

((((WB))))


DDay - April 2008
Me - 54 and doing great. Found myself again and loving life
Him - who??

I can see clearly now, the rain is gone (Johnny Nash)

Those who stir the shit soup get to lick the spoon!


Posts: 4962 | Registered: Jun 2009 | From: UK
Hoops
♀ Member
Member # 22721
Default  Posted: 3:45 PM, May 2nd (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

WB

I am so sorry!! It sounds like you didnt even see this coming!

I loved hearing about this relationship, you guys were really working things out and being such a great example of a great relationship, that they even exist!

Good for you in how you are dealing with it all! I dont doubt there will still be some rough times for you when it really sinks in. Otherwise it sounds like you have a good handle on how to deal with it.

She is the one who ultimately lost. But like you said, you dont want to be with someone who does not want to be with you. At least you had a nice time and even better, you have proven you are capable of having a fantastic relationship and work through things. Imagine how great it is going to be when you cross paths with someone who adores you as much as you adore them.

Take good care of yourself and I am really sorry to hear it ended. You deserve better then that, and there is some really lucky woman out there who does not realize how lucky she is going to be when you find one another.


BW (Me) 44
W(ex)H 46 .... SA, Alcoholic, compulsive liar
DD 12-03-08
Divorced: 9-14-10
Now: Happily married to a great guy who has the same birthday as my DD! Ironic. Now it is just my husband's birthday.

Posts: 294 | Registered: Feb 2009 | From: Va
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