Cheating Hurt by Infidelity
Betrayal Wayward Donations lying
Welcome

Forums

Guidelines

Find a Local Counselor

The Healing Library

Media

Contact Us
lies
cover
In Association with Amazon.com
Support
Infidelity -
-
like us on facebook
You are not logged in. Login here or register.
[Register]
Newest Member: 3cjh (44967)

New Beginnings Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: What goes up...
wonderingbull
♂ Member
Member # 14833
Default  Posted: 3:55 PM, May 2nd (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thanks cass...

Hey, I jumped out there after years being single and I took a chance... Can't fault myself for that or just being me...

I'm sure I'll be able to do a full autopsy on the relationship after the disbelief wears off...

I wasn't even looking when I asked her out but I also didn't know the extent of her baggage...

I really think she believes there's a guy out there that will be nice like me but also be like her ex... Her ex is a true asshole and I always was jaw on the floor amazed about how she allowed him to treat her...

I actually think she equates verbal abuse to love in some odd way... I'm anything but that...

I'm in a lot better place now then I was when the ex took off and tried to use me as a backup plan...

Stronger and smarter I am I am...

WB


The secret of life is enjoying the passage of time...

James Taylor


Posts: 5976 | Registered: Jun 2007 | From: A better place
cmego
♀ Member
Member # 30346
Default  Posted: 4:01 PM, May 2nd (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Those "reasons" don't wash with me. They are so superficial. My guess, just my gut reaction, is there is something much deeper going on than how you "dress" or a PDA. Those are things that, even if they do bother her, can be discussed as two adults.

I feel guilty every time I bring up my ex in a conversation, and purposefully stop myself. Even if you have been together for awhile, at some point it has to stop. You (she) have a different life now.

I'm sorry this happened. Totally vent in here.

She sounds very shallow, or still in love with her ex. Or both.


me...BS, 43 years old, 2 small kids
WS, 41, multiple gay affairs
M 15 years, together 17
Divorced

"For whatever we lose, like a you or a me, it's always ourselves we find in the sea" ee cummings


Posts: 4144 | Registered: Dec 2010 | From: South
kernel
♀ Member
Member # 27035
Default  Posted: 4:02 PM, May 2nd (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

So were these the shorts or what?


"On particularly rough days when I'm sure I can't possibly endure, I like to remind myself that my track record for getting through bad days so far is 100% and that's pretty good."

Posts: 5138 | Registered: Jan 2010 | From: Midwest
persevere
♀ Member
Member # 31468
Default  Posted: 4:15 PM, May 2nd (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm sorry to hear this, but you're handling it well. Vent away my friend.

I may be joining you soon, BF and I are having a talk this weekend.

And, breaking up by text, really? Conflict avoidant much? That's just wrong.

Take care WB.


Me: BW-44
Him: XWH-44
Together 9 yrs
DDays: 1/10/2011
Status: Divorced 4/27/11

Above all, be the heroine, not the victim. - Nora Ephron

It is our choices...that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities.
- J. K. Rowling


Posts: 4527 | Registered: Mar 2011 | From: Texas
wonderingbull
♂ Member
Member # 14833
Default  Posted: 4:21 PM, May 2nd (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Oh no... Not those shorts...

They are dry clean only 100% cotton that ran me a cool $80.00

I don't know if she's really "in love" with her exh or is she's "in love" with the thought of what could have been if he just hadn't been such an asshole... Either way...

It's not my baggage and I'm not responsible for it...

It's time for happy hour!...
Will check in later...

WB


The secret of life is enjoying the passage of time...

James Taylor


Posts: 5976 | Registered: Jun 2007 | From: A better place
foxglove
♀ Member
Member # 21791
Default  Posted: 4:30 PM, May 2nd (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

WB,

I'm so sorry. The speed of the break up is breath taking.

And, break up by text? What is she a 12 year old?

Her reasons for splitting with you are very superficial. I have a feeling that you may hear from her again. You may want to prepare yourself for that possibility.

(((WB)))

[This message edited by foxglove at 4:30 PM, May 2nd (Thursday)]


Me (BS)47
XH (WS)53
Married 21 years
Divorced 2/19/07
Two sons 21 and 23 in college

Posts: 1453 | Registered: Nov 2008 | From: Northern Michigan
CharlieFoxtrot
♀ Member
Member # 38010
Default  Posted: 5:51 PM, May 2nd (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

WB, I admire your handling of this all! I hope you enjoy your friends and happy hour, I'm sure someone who appreciates Paul McCartney and shorts will be glad to accompany you! As a matter of fact, make shorts a requirement for the ticket

Have fun tonight, and as the anger resolves remember what a douche move it is to break up by text, at any age. You are worthy of so much more respect than that! NC is your best friend, let her wallow in it.


Weeping may endure for a night, but joy cometh in the morning.

Posts: 505 | Registered: Jan 2013
Helen of Troy
♀ Member
Member # 26419
Default  Posted: 7:04 PM, May 2nd (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm amazed on how you seem to be handling this.

Posts: 4703 | Registered: Dec 2009
Sad in AZ
♀ Member
Member # 24239
Default  Posted: 7:28 PM, May 2nd (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

You'll make yourself crazy trying to figure out the whys. I hope you breeze through the cycles and can look back on this as just a ripple in your life.


I solemnly swear that I am up to no good.

Posts: 20178 | Registered: Jun 2009 | From: Upstate NY
MyVoice
♀ Member
Member # 35695
Default  Posted: 7:54 PM, May 2nd (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm with those that loved reading about your relationship felt like we got to watch it grow with joy. I'm so sorry she repaid your wonderful ways like this, silly silly woman.

Big hugs from me XXXX


Me:BW 46, Him:WH 50
two kids DD14 and DS17
Married 26 years
OW 28, crew member (he was the ships captain)
"People are formed by their actions, not their ideals" unknown

Posts: 470 | Registered: May 2012 | From: Australia
Williesmom
♀ Member
Member # 22870
Default  Posted: 8:02 PM, May 2nd (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

((Wb))

Sounds like she has no idea what she wants.


You can stuff your sorries in a sack, mister. -George Costanza
There is a special place in hell for women who don't help other women. - Madeleine Albright

Posts: 7653 | Registered: Feb 2009 | From: Western PA
suckstobeme
♀ Member
Member # 30853
Default  Posted: 8:29 PM, May 2nd (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm sorry. All I can say is that she sounds like one fucked up woman. Even though it hurts, it's good that someone toxic and emotionally stupid like that is out of your life. She doesn't deserve to be there.


BW - me
ExWH - "that one"
D - 2011
You get what you put in, and people get what they deserve.
Hard as it may be, try to never give the OP any of your power or head space.

Posts: 2796 | Registered: Jan 2011
thyme2go
♂ Member
Member # 12908
Default  Posted: 8:34 PM, May 2nd (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

A few minutes after that I got a breakup text!!!!!

I did not realize she was still in Junior High...


BH - no longer 48
3 DD's - (27, 24 and 17)
Divorced on 8/6/09

Posts: 9177 | Registered: Dec 2006 | From: Eastern Washington
thyme2go
♂ Member
Member # 12908
Default  Posted: 8:36 PM, May 2nd (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

...and, I have to wonder if her ex is not back in the picture. This seems all to similar as to why I am a member here.


BH - no longer 48
3 DD's - (27, 24 and 17)
Divorced on 8/6/09

Posts: 9177 | Registered: Dec 2006 | From: Eastern Washington
gahurts
♂ Member
Member # 33699
Default  Posted: 8:43 PM, May 2nd (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

WB. Just want to add my condolences but I do think you are better off. There were a few times I thought that something did not sound right based on your posts but this takes the cake. Of course $80 per pair for shorts - that would be a red flag for me but I'm a cheap SOB

Hang in there and vent to us. I know you will pass through this. I have really enjoyed reading how you've handled the ups and the downs. (((WB)


"Strength does not come from physical capacity. It comes from an indominable will" - Mahatma Gandi

"Courage is being scared to death and saddling up anyway." - Aubrie


Posts: 3416 | Registered: Oct 2011 | From: Georgia
FaithFool
♀ Member
Member # 20150
Default  Posted: 8:47 PM, May 2nd (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Aw man, this woman sounds like a nutjob. They're so good at disguising aren't they?

Gah.

Onward. You will lovelovelove McCartney. Wish I was going!


DDay: June 15, 2008
Mistakenly married Mr. Superfreak
20 years of OWs, WTF?
Divorced Dec 26, 2011
"Life is a shipwreck, but we must not forget
to sing in the lifeboats". -- Voltaire

Posts: 17394 | Registered: Jul 2008 | From: Canada
wildbananas
♀ Member
Member # 10552
Default  Posted: 9:14 PM, May 2nd (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

When I saw the ttile of your thread, I said "Oh no..." out loud. Followed by "What the actual fuck?"

I'm afraid I'm with t2g. My first thought was there's gotta be someone else. Those are pretty freaking lame reasons. And a break up by text? Srsly?

I'm super sorry this happened. Vent away and yes... it's her loss.

(((((WB)))))

(The other WB)


Travel light, live light, spread the light, be the light. ~ Yogi Bhajan

Posts: 15396 | Registered: Apr 2006 | From: Now an AZ girl
really trying
♀ Member
Member # 5311
Default  Posted: 11:15 PM, May 2nd (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

sure didn't see this coming. I'm so sorry (((WB)))


Me: late 40's
XH: A parasite and that might be a compliment
My S-23, Our D-15
Married 5/93 D-Day: 11/18/03
Divorced 5/19/08

The future's so bright - I got to wear shades

Plant Seeds of Kindness


Posts: 10394 | Registered: Sep 2004 | From: California
gma56
♀ Member
Member # 19595
Default  Posted: 12:33 AM, May 3rd (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Well damn WB. I'm with the others...a text ??? It's not like you are long distance. It does seem very 7th grade behavior and also a big coward.

I've been rejected by the last three men (they broke off the relationship with me)in my life and I now know I will survive and keep moving forward. You will too.

I have a feeling she will be stuck on her XH for the rest of her life. What a waste of time.

In spite of her, it sounds as if you are ready to take the next steps in yur life and just maybe that will include a special person.

Keep just being WB and who knows where life will take you !We're on a journey !
Hugs
Gma


BW-Divorced
It's my life now, my choices, my mistakes to make and my victories to celebrate. His choices made me free of liars and betrayers in my life. That is priceless.

Posts: 20373 | Registered: May 2008 | From: Half way to where I want to be.
hexed
♀ Member
Member # 19258
Default  Posted: 12:39 AM, May 3rd (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

WB

I am sorry that you're dealing with a break up. It seems like you're doing it with the dignity, good humor and self awareness that you've had for the duration of the relationship.

KD is losing a good thing. And WTH-- a text break up after all this time. Uggg

Glad you enjoyed Fleetwood Mac. Love them!

Lots of good thoughts for you tonight.


But that's just a lot of water
Underneath a bridge I burned
And there's no use in backtracking
Around corners I have turned

“Many of us crucify ourselves between two thieves - regret for the past and fear of the future.” -foulton oursler


Posts: 8440 | Registered: Apr 2008
Topic Posts: 82
Pages: 1 · 2 · 3 · 4 · 5

Return to Forum: New Beginnings Post Reply to this Topic
adultry
Go to :
madness  
© 2002 - 2014 SurvivingInfidelity.com. All Rights Reserved.