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Reconciliation Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: Paranoia or Instinct ?
Lolati11
♀ Member
Member # 34915
Default  Posted: 10:00 PM, May 2nd (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

So I have been in R with WH and its been going great ...I finally got to the point where I knew for sure that I am passed the rollacoaster .WH is litterally working on a costum made Ring ..to replace my old one that I stopped wearing .I have access to his phone and all the other stuff However the past two weeks have been strange .WH is having his casual night outs with coworkers (witch he says are guys only ) but I noticed that he is attached to his phone ...today for instance he went golfing with two of his peers at work so he says ...and I didn't receive a single text message he came home gave me a kiss and went to bed .I can't help it I have a feeling that I can't distinguish yet ..its like I don't want to dig deeper ..I don't want to know that I am not a 100% in or that maybe there is something going on that my intuition is telling me to look into ...I don't know here I am asking a million questions that I know I can get an answer too just by looking into the phone bill ...it could give me a peace of mind or destroy me ...What do you think Fellow SI ? what should I do ?


Me:33
Him: 50
OW: a monster that I called friend before
D-Day:June 20,2011


You made a fool out of me and she made a fool out of you


Posts: 141 | Registered: Feb 2012
boontje
♀ Member
Member # 33247
Default  Posted: 10:44 PM, May 2nd (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

((Lolita)) If your gut is telling you something doesn't feel right, you should listen. Check the phone bill or anything else that may give you peace of mind. It's an awful feeling, the not knowing, but unfortunately, the uncertainty is just one more consequence of infidelity. I'm sorry you are going through this at a time when you were feeling your R was in a good place.

but I noticed that he is attached to his phone ...today for instance he went golfing with two of his peers at work so he says ...and I didn't receive a single text message he came home gave me a kiss and went to bed

Just curious, is this how he acted during his A?


Me: BS
Dday: June 2011
Working on R, one day at a time

The best way to find out if you can trust somebody is to trust them.
― Ernest Hemingway



Posts: 934 | Registered: Aug 2011
cosmicjoke
♀ Member
Member # 39159
Default  Posted: 10:47 PM, May 2nd (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Instinct.
Always trust your gut.

Posts: 113 | Registered: May 2013
FeelingSoMuch
♂ Member
Member # 38814
Default  Posted: 10:50 PM, May 2nd (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I don't know if it's paranoia or instinct. My WW broke NC twice after promising -- in tears -- that it was over and that she would never call him again. She hid it from me each time only to reveal it when I asked for phone records.

If your H is still committed to R, seeing the phone bill will put your mind at ease and help further build trust.

If he's not committed to R, then you find out earlier, possibly before things develop and get worse.

My two cents. Easier said than done. This is so painful.

I wish you peace of mind.


Me: BH
Her: WW
Together since 2001, married since 2007.
D-day: Feb. 20, 2013.
Broke NC: 2 phone calls since
Today: In MC and IC, attempting R.
It got easier: They no longer work together.

Posts: 508 | Registered: Mar 2013 | From: Canada
happierdays
♀ Member
Member # 38537
Default  Posted: 11:16 PM, May 2nd (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I agree with the other posters, go with your gut! If all it'll take is a quick check of the phone bill, there's no harm in doing it. My fingers are crossed you find nothing and it puts your mind at ease.

My WH started going to bed early, that was one of the signs something was up.


Me - 40
WH - 41
Dday - Oct 7, 2012
Dday 2 - June 4, 2013
Married - 7 years
1 DD

Posts: 141 | Registered: Feb 2013 | From: Canada
Amberdawn
♀ New Member
Member # 39157
Default  Posted: 3:00 AM, May 3rd (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Look at the phone bill. It will eat away at you if you don't look. You will know one way or another. I hope you find nothing.

Posts: 43 | Registered: May 2013
Diva0702
♀ Member
Member # 32309
Default  Posted: 3:38 AM, May 3rd (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Sweetie, if your gut is screaming, as everyone is saying, it's because your brain is letting you know that you need to pay attention to what is happening externally that is causing your discomfort.


Me: BW 53
Him: FWH 47
4 wonderful grown children
2 beautiful grandchildren
Married 20 years
Together 23 years
Dday March 10 2010. 4 yr A.
Me: RGN(ret), N.Dip.,BA(Psych),MA (Psych),BA Music.
OW: 55 year old taxi driver

Posts: 333 | Registered: May 2011 | From: UK
lost100
♀ New Member
Member # 39128
Default  Posted: 4:37 AM, May 3rd (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Gut feelings are to be listened to but they are not evidence of anything. That gut feeling could be due to other factors.
Your WH does seem to getting back into his 'normal' life but what about you?
This is a dreadful time for us all who have been betrayed.
Time is a healer

Posts: 26 | Registered: Apr 2013
Lolati11
♀ Member
Member # 34915
Default  Posted: 10:04 AM, May 3rd (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

boontje
I don't remember him protecting his phone .I mean that's how i found out about the A going through his phone .You all are right I can get the answer by a simple bill check and that's exactly what I am going to do .Thank you all so much for your input I so very much appreciate it .


Me:33
Him: 50
OW: a monster that I called friend before
D-Day:June 20,2011


You made a fool out of me and she made a fool out of you


Posts: 141 | Registered: Feb 2012
Topic Posts: 9

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