My psychiatrist asked me how I'm feeling about my "current living situation". I had just finished telling him that I don't think the anti-depressants are helping.
I surprised myself by saying that I was feeling pretty good. I don't miss her as much; I don't drop everything when she calls; I haven't cried in a week. As long as I keep myself occupied I actually feel some happiness.
What's so fucked-up is that I have a really hard time getting started on anything. I spend forever just sitting here doing nothing when I could be working, walking, sleeping, playing music, writing, reading.
And then our session was over. We have to pick this up last week. Argh!
Why don't I want to get right at doing something, instead of wallowing in nothingness? I know that's a symptom of my depression, but it's so frustrating that I know what to do, but can't seem to do it.
I'm one fucked-up swamp dog!