My concern for you is he is calling the shots for your life. I understand your D-day is recent, but I have seen too many times here where the BS tries to "nice" the spouse back into the marriage, in essence it generally has the opposite effect.
Show him you are strong no matter how weak you feel. Limit conversations to business, finances and children. Let him *see* that you WILL make it with or without him. Put yourself in the driver's seat in this situation...consult an attorney, not to file, but to show him you will not allow him to cake eat or play ping pong with your life.
I am at 8 years post D-Day, and I didn't find this site until about four years later. One of the things I did from day #1 (although my situation he dumped OW) was to let WH know in no uncertain terms it was my way or the highway. He did tt me to death, but everything else I requested was clean and crisp and he didn't flounder. He knew I meant business.
like it was on overload
^^Exactly what happens after D-Day. Not only do you have to think of everything else in your daily life, but this trauma is like carrying a backpack full of bricks, it weighs you down and sometimes you fall, sometimes you are numb, sometime you are in overdrive. What you are experiencing is very normal. Are you meeting with an IC?
I am going to start therapy on Tuesday night, Definitely need that!!! I know it may not sound it but he isn't calling all the shots, I have already told him I'm not sure I could ever take him back. And as far as the Ow I am cautiously optamistic(spelling?) that he has broken contact. But I'm not counting on it. He seems very remorseful of the hurt he has caused, but he says he isn't sure about staying in our marriage or being single. He says he isn't happy in his life. I told him to figure it out but don't expect me waiting for him. It is very hard not to contact him but today we had a long talk and I think I have said all I can, I'm done talking unless it comes to finances or children. Now its time for me to get my own life. Feeling strong right now I'm sure it will fade. I'm So tired of hurting and I know I just got on this ride.
My heart breaks for all newbies, the shock of it all is sometimes too much to bear.
I used to find the weekends very difficult as the week was filled with work, school, children's activities, something to force me to get out of bed each day. The weekends always felt dead. Even if you are alone, you can still get out of your environment, go to a coffee shop, a long walk, a drive to the beach, anything to give your mind a short time to rest from these thoughts.
How are your children handling this?
Posting and reading here will be so helpful to you. People here have great wisdom and compassion. You came to the right place.