To maybe talk me down!
So, I have dated some since my divorce but nothing substantial. D was final in Nov 2011. Well, I met and started dating someone through friends this March. He had asked a couple weeks ago about where I saw this going cause he's developing feelings for me and I was like - let's take this slow. I didn't want to commit to anything. And last night I realized I'm really starting to fall for him. I was even thinking of the L word.. WTF
He just got out of a 2 year relationship in February. And they lived together. Now that was over and he was moved out when we met, but am I the rebound girl? He says (and I have friends that know him to confirm this) that it was on the way out for awhile and there was always something missing - but still - isn't it too soon? He says he cares for me and wasn't expecting to meet anyone but glad he did, I was an unexpected surprise.
Now we aren't really rushing anything - I've had to travel a lot for work and he's had some traveling too, so we've had some time apart to take it slow.
Should I worry about his recent relationship? And that he needs more time? Then what do I do?
And.. I think I'm starting to have some of my old insecurities bubble up. I worry that I'm going to blow it. And I worry that I talk to much, and maybe (I can't believe I'm saying this) I like want him to know that others want to date me too - like for him to know that I'm desirable (I think this comes from my XH leaving me for another woman and not feeling worthy enough). I'm just acknowledging this so that I recognize it and not say anything stupid to him.
I realize in my relationship with XH I didn't compliment him enough or maybe make him feel secure - I've always had a hard time opening up - so I DONT want to do that with him, but I have to work on it so he knows I care for him. But I also don't want to be too needy..
of being committed
of blowing it
of getting hurt
that he'll realize I was a rebound
that he'll realize what a narcissistic person I am
that he'll realize I'm not that smart or nice at all
that i'm thinking too much about this
He's not someone I normally would've dated, lol. I didn't think I'd like him at all and was worried I'd hurt him since he was so into me. He's kinda nerdy, not physically who I would normally go for but he is oh, so sweet to me. Like, there's so many differences between him and my ex. He's kind but not because he's trying to impress me, it's just who he is. And he seems to genuinely be interested in me as a person. Know what I mean?
Sorry for the ramble - is this normal? Am I crazy? I just need to let the crazy out so I don't do it to him or others.
I don't know what to do. Maybe I'm not ready.
I need to talk myself down...