I got a text from WH (he is traveling for work and won't be home for another 4 weeks) that he got a text from OW#1 while he was sleeping. I asked him to send me a screen shot of it, and he did.
"I still love you"
He hasn't responded, and says that he wont, but this is making me physically ill. When the text was sent (she is West Coast, we are East Coast) it was still yesterday for her. Apparently, they met 2 years ago yesterday. So, we are officially in affair season.
I told him that his two choices are to change his number (my first preference) or block her number (which isn't as effective). He pointed out that even if he changes his number, she could still get it since her brother (WH's subordinate) still works with him and would have access to the new number.
So, we are kind of at a stalemate this morning. I feel his first priority should be to protect me and his family and his biggest concern with changing his number all relates to work. Don't even get me started on how his job is like an OW...
[This message edited by mchercheur at 8:44 AM, May 5th (Sunday)]
I asked him to send me a screen shot of it, and he did.
"I still love you"
He hasn't responded, and says that he wont
It sounds like your WH did exactly the right thing. Good for him.
Please don't let this upset you. My take; this is actually a good thing. The fishing trip tells you that NC has been maintained and your WH is no longer interested in the OW.
The best response is to maintain NC. Saying nothing sends a message to the OW that you're not even worth my time to respond. No need for you or your WH to make any changes. Let the OW choke on silence.
In my case, the OM always went fishing on Mother's day for a couple years after D-day. That was the day their EA turned PA. My fWW did the same as your WH, she would let me know and I would just delete the message. We never responded and the fishing trips ended about 3 years ago.
Make sure you let your WH know he did the right thing and you do understand he as no control over the actions of the OW. Just make this a non-event.
So sorry you have to go through this.
Upside is that he told you immediately, but I know that's a small consolation right now.
For last year's words belong to last year's language
And next year's words await another voice.
And to make an end is to make a beginning. - T.S. Eliot
This is very upsetting. Take your time and be gentle with your feelings.
It's good that he didn't answer and he won't. Nothing sends a clearer message to her that he has better things to do with his time.
I hope that your H will talk to you as much as you need today and for the rest of the four weeks. I hope in the end you two will feel even closer and safer together.
That said, he should definitely block her number.
I'm on the alert for my FWH's OW to go fishing in the next month or two--important A anniversaries are looming. I hope my FWH handles himself as well as yours if OW does try to break NC.
D-Day: August 14, 2012
9 year LTA with former co-worker and family "friend"/7 years EA+PA, 2 more years EA