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Newest Member: peluche (44913)

New Beginnings Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: And we're done....
persevere
♀ Member
Member # 31468
Default  Posted: 8:27 PM, May 5th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

We dated for eight months and I knew this was a possibility, if not a probability, but it still hurts.

He was only five months out from D, he was blindsided, when we met. I knew there was a risk, for both of us, even though I was a year ahead of him in the process.

I felt him pulling away a bit in the past few weeks, and I finally told him that we needed to talk about us. I think I avoided it as much as he did at first because we both knew what this talk would mean.

It was easy to avoid because he has 50/50 custody, week on, week off, so we weren't constantly together.

He's going to IC soon, which is good. We talked about alternatives, like non-exclusive dating, and I didn't rule anything out in the future, but I told him we just needed to work on ourselves and our own lives for a while. We need to move on. And, as I told him, I can't do the friend thing right now, I'd end up being his therapist, lol.

But I know I have to focus on what's best for me, and although it hurts, this is the first step.

He's a good guy, honest, conscientious, giving, but the timing was just off. Or was it? There's a reason people come into our lives, and endings are hard, but I don't regret our relationship.

He met some of you at the SI g2g in Houston, we had a great time.

I know I will be okay, but just need a little time to grieve it and move forward. I haven't even called my best friend - this was the first place I thought of after he left. Thanks to all of you for all of your support.


Me: BW-44
Him: XWH-44
Together 9 yrs
DDays: 1/10/2011
Status: Divorced 4/27/11

Above all, be the heroine, not the victim. - Nora Ephron

It is our choices...that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities.
- J. K. Rowling


Posts: 4514 | Registered: Mar 2011 | From: Texas
nowiknow23
♀ Guide
Member # 33226
Default  Posted: 8:33 PM, May 5th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

((((persevere)))) I'm sorry, honey.


You can call me NIK

"Sometimes it takes a good fall to know where you really stand."
-Hayley Williams


Posts: 25292 | Registered: Aug 2011
phmh
♀ Member
Member # 34146
Default  Posted: 8:51 PM, May 5th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((persevere)))


Me: BW, divorced, now fabulous and happy!

Married: 11 years, no kids

The greater danger for most of us lies not in setting our aim too high and falling short; but in setting our aim too low, and achieving our mark. -Michelangelo


Posts: 3349 | Registered: Dec 2011
persevere
♀ Member
Member # 31468
Default  Posted: 9:05 PM, May 5th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thank you. I'm just going to take it slow.

Maybe I will lose a little of the weight I put back on since Dday, lol. It's the best part of a breakup.


Me: BW-44
Him: XWH-44
Together 9 yrs
DDays: 1/10/2011
Status: Divorced 4/27/11

Above all, be the heroine, not the victim. - Nora Ephron

It is our choices...that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities.
- J. K. Rowling


Posts: 4514 | Registered: Mar 2011 | From: Texas
jo2love
♀ Moderator
Member # 31528
Default  Posted: 9:15 PM, May 5th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((persevere)))

Posts: 35132 | Registered: Mar 2011
woundedby2
♀ Member
Member # 18522
Default  Posted: 9:23 PM, May 5th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((persevere)))

Awwww...I'm sorry.


Me: BS
2 kids: DD15 and DS18
Him: The Assclown NPD
OW: "friend" of 15 years
Divorced! Feb. 2010

Everybody, soon or late, sits down to a banquet of consequences.
~Robert Louis Stevenson


Posts: 7813 | Registered: Mar 2008 | From: SoCal
fallingquickly
♀ Member
Member # 36599
Default  Posted: 9:53 PM, May 5th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm sorry. Hugs.
At least you know you are making the right decision for you. Any ending is difficult.


Me-BW 50
Him-STBXWH

2 Ddays and lots of TT
divorcing

Scars remind us where we've been. They don't have to dictate where we're going. (Criminal Minds)

I saw him, I could not unsee him. -StrongButBroken


Posts: 453 | Registered: Aug 2012
MyVoice
♀ Member
Member # 35695
Default  Posted: 10:49 PM, May 5th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Hugs xxxx


Me:BW 46, Him:WH 50
two kids DD14 and DS17
Married 26 years
OW 28, crew member (he was the ships captain)
"People are formed by their actions, not their ideals" unknown

Posts: 470 | Registered: May 2012 | From: Australia
VioletPush
♀ Member
Member # 31365
Default  Posted: 11:16 PM, May 5th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Hang in there persevere! Even if things are ultimately for the best, it doesn't make them hurt any less :(


Got rid of a lot of baggage, moved across the country, and am moving on with my life!

Posts: 235 | Registered: Mar 2011
authenticnow
♀ Moderator
Member # 16024
Default  Posted: 5:31 AM, May 6th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((Persevere)))


Take up your space (and do it well).

"That's the thing about pain, it demands to be felt."


Posts: 37569 | Registered: Sep 2007
SBB
♀ Member
Member # 35229
Default  Posted: 6:46 AM, May 6th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

((persevere))

This is one of my favourite quotes:
People come into your life for a reason, a season, or a lifetime. When you figure out which one it is, you will know what to do for each person.When someone is in your life for a REASON . . . It is usually to meet a need you have expressed. They have come to assist you through a difficulty, to provide you with guidance and support, to aid you physically, emotionally, or spiritually. They may seem like a godsend, and they are! They are there for the reason you need them to be.Then, without any wrong doing on your part, or at an inconvenient time, this person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end.Sometimes they die. Sometimes they walk away. Sometimes they act up and force you to take a stand.What we must realize is that our need has been met, our desire fulfilled, their work is done. The prayer you sent up has been answered. And now it is time to move on.
When people come into your life for a SEASON . . .Because your turn has come to share, grow, or learn.They bring you an experience of peace, or make you laugh. They may teach you something you have never done. They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy. Believe it! It is real! But, only for a season.
LIFETIME relationships teach you lifetime lessons; things you must build upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation. Your job is to accept the lesson, love the person, and put what you have learned to use in all other relationships and areas of your life. It is said that love is blind but friendship is clairvoyant.

~Author Unknown


I may have reached a point where I'd piss on him if he was on fire.... eventually!!

Posts: 5554 | Registered: Apr 2012 | From: Australia
MovingUpward
♂ Guide
Member # 14866
Default  Posted: 7:08 AM, May 6th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

((((persevere))))


AKA Moo

Think of the haters in your life as sandpaper; they’ll scratch you up time and time again but in the end you’re polished, smooth, and spotless..while they end up useless

We make a living by what we get, but we make a life by what we give.


Posts: 52126 | Registered: Jun 2007 | From: Big Blue Nation
persevere
♀ Member
Member # 31468
Default  Posted: 1:47 PM, May 6th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thanks to all of you. I do believe that, with few exceptions, things do happen for a reason. Thank you for the quote SBB.


Me: BW-44
Him: XWH-44
Together 9 yrs
DDays: 1/10/2011
Status: Divorced 4/27/11

Above all, be the heroine, not the victim. - Nora Ephron

It is our choices...that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities.
- J. K. Rowling


Posts: 4514 | Registered: Mar 2011 | From: Texas
NaiveAgain
♀ Member
Member # 20849
Default  Posted: 2:09 PM, May 6th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm sorry (((persevere)))


Original WS D-Day July 10, 2008. Kept lying, he is gone.
New WS (2 EA's, no PA) 12-3-13
If you don't like where you are, then change it. You are not a tree.

Posts: 15226 | Registered: Aug 2008 | From: Ohio
wonderingbull
♂ Member
Member # 14833
Default  Posted: 2:09 PM, May 6th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

You'll do great girl... You stepped out there and took a chance... You can't regret that... It's all a part of living your life... Not every relationship is meant to be forever...

Take care of yourself...

WB


The secret of life is enjoying the passage of time...

James Taylor


Posts: 5976 | Registered: Jun 2007 | From: A better place
persevere
♀ Member
Member # 31468
Default  Posted: 10:54 PM, May 6th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thank you all, and WB you're right, I have to take care of me, that's been my problem all along.

I even sent him a baggage reclaim article tonight that was right on point about both of us, but I know I need to go NC and "Step away from the SEND button".

I think I may need to just not date for a while. Learn to understand the concept of "being happy with just me" - I don't think I've ever really understood the concept.


Me: BW-44
Him: XWH-44
Together 9 yrs
DDays: 1/10/2011
Status: Divorced 4/27/11

Above all, be the heroine, not the victim. - Nora Ephron

It is our choices...that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities.
- J. K. Rowling


Posts: 4514 | Registered: Mar 2011 | From: Texas
Amazonia
♀ Member
Member # 32810
Default  Posted: 6:09 AM, May 7th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

((Persevere))

The "happy with just me" is a tough one to really get on a core level. It's important though, and oh so good when you get there. And relationships are so much more fulfilling after getting there.


"You yourself deserve your love and affection as much as anybody in the universe." -Buddha
"Let's face it, life is a crap shoot." -Sad in AZ

Posts: 13735 | Registered: Jul 2011
Spirit13
♀ Member
Member # 31758
Default  Posted: 8:52 AM, May 7th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

persevere,

I'm really sorry. I hope you can feel better with the decision in time.

Hugs.


Men were deceivers ever; one foot in sea and one on shore, to one thing constant never.

Posts: 620 | Registered: Apr 2011 | From: Midwest
little turtle
♀ Member
Member # 15584
Default  Posted: 9:22 AM, May 7th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((persevere)))


Failure is success if we learn from it.

Posts: 4165 | Registered: Aug 2007 | From: michigan
Topic Posts: 19

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