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New Beginnings Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: Feeling Great
click4it
♀ Member
Member # 209
Cool  Posted: 11:52 PM, May 5th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

hey everyone - its been a while since I've posted. usually when I do post, its about an issue I need to get off my chest.

Well for the first time in maybe YEARS...I feel fantastic. I actually walked into my counselor's office last week and told her I can actually say I'm feeling fantastic. Me? Fantastic? That word doesn't usually apply to me. Sure, I've been good, ok, fine - but fantastic? Nah, can't remember when that was.

I had a sort of "break thru" emotionally last week that I won't get completely into, but this break thru has allowed me to see myself in a whole new light.

The death of my father really hit me hard and the grief was almost intolerable. Issues with my teen son had taken its toll and there was some stress at work. For a while, I honestly didn't think I was going to make it through.

And then, like a lightening bolt, I felt free. I felt connected to the world again and I am enjoying the ride.

Edited to add: I don't want to "jinx" myself or anything - but I just thought I'd share what I see as wonderful news. Those that know me on SI (for all the years that I've posted) will be shocked at this post.

[This message edited by click4it at 11:56 PM, May 5th (Sunday)]


Me: 41
Two boys: 17 and 13
Divorced 12-13-05
d-day 10-02-01

Laughter will cure life's ills. Have you had your laugh today?


Posts: 25509 | Registered: Jun 2002 | From: California
thebighurt
♀ Member
Member # 34722
Default  Posted: 11:58 PM, May 5th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage


Finding what life could have been....... Why didn't I see it?

Posts: 2186 | Registered: Feb 2012 | From: the Other Side
wildbananas
♀ Member
Member # 10552
Default  Posted: 12:42 AM, May 6th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage


Travel light, live light, spread the light, be the light. ~ Yogi Bhajan

Posts: 15360 | Registered: Apr 2006 | From: Now an AZ girl
SBB
♀ Member
Member # 35229
Default  Posted: 6:43 AM, May 6th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Love this.

I liken my own breakthrough(s) to childbirth.

Scary as hell. Painful as hell. The unknown scared me far more than what actually ended up happening. I rocked it like a natural!

Uncivilised, unpleasant but necessary. And what a prize at the end!!

Nurture this feeling friend.


Buzz- The word you are searching for is 'Space-Ranger.'
Woody- The word I'm searching for, I can't say, because there are Pre-school toys here.

Posts: 5424 | Registered: Apr 2012 | From: Australia
FaithFool
♀ Member
Member # 20150
Default  Posted: 11:01 AM, May 6th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage


DDay: June 15, 2008
Mistakenly married Mr. Superfreak
20 years of OWs, WTF?
Divorced Dec 26, 2011
"Life is a shipwreck, but we must not forget
to sing in the lifeboats". -- Voltaire

Posts: 17153 | Registered: Jul 2008 | From: Canada
jo2love
♀ Moderator
Member # 31528
Default  Posted: 11:33 AM, May 6th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Hi, Click! Awesome update!!

Posts: 33897 | Registered: Mar 2011
NaiveAgain
♀ Member
Member # 20849
Default  Posted: 11:39 AM, May 6th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm really glad to hear this click....it is about time you have some happiness and peaceful feelings!


Original WS D-Day July 10, 2008. Kept lying, he is gone.
New WS (2 EA's, no PA) 12-3-13
If you don't like where you are, then change it. You are not a tree.

Posts: 15105 | Registered: Aug 2008 | From: Ohio
NaiveAgain
♀ Member
Member # 20849
Default  Posted: 11:56 AM, May 6th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

oops, double post!

[This message edited by NaiveAgain at 11:57 AM, May 6th (Monday)]


Original WS D-Day July 10, 2008. Kept lying, he is gone.
New WS (2 EA's, no PA) 12-3-13
If you don't like where you are, then change it. You are not a tree.

Posts: 15105 | Registered: Aug 2008 | From: Ohio
MovingUpward
♂ Guide
Member # 14866
Default  Posted: 11:58 AM, May 6th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Awesome clicky. I am looking forward to the N. Cali g2g to see the Fantastic You.


AKA Moo

Think of the haters in your life as sandpaper; they’ll scratch you up time and time again but in the end you’re polished, smooth, and spotless..while they end up useless

We make a living by what we get, but we make a life by what we give.


Posts: 51511 | Registered: Jun 2007 | From: Big Blue Nation
tryingagain74
♀ Member
Member # 33698
Default  Posted: 12:06 PM, May 6th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Yay! That's wonderful!


BS (Me) 39
Happily liberated!
Two DS and One DD
It matters not how strait the gate,/How charged with punishments the scroll./I am the master of my fate:/I am the captain of my soul.--"Invictus," William Ernest Henley

Posts: 3537 | Registered: Oct 2011
persevere
♀ Member
Member # 31468
Default  Posted: 2:45 PM, May 6th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

What an amazing post click!!! SOOOO happy for you!


Me: BW-43
Him: XWH-43
Together 9 yrs
DDays: 1/10/2011
Status: Divorced 4/27/11

Above all, be the heroine, not the victim. - Nora Ephron

It is our choices...that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities.
- J. K. Rowling


Posts: 4375 | Registered: Mar 2011 | From: Texas
click4it
♀ Member
Member # 209
Default  Posted: 3:00 PM, May 6th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

thanks everyone!


Me: 41
Two boys: 17 and 13
Divorced 12-13-05
d-day 10-02-01

Laughter will cure life's ills. Have you had your laugh today?


Posts: 25509 | Registered: Jun 2002 | From: California
Jrazz
♀ Guide
Member # 31349
Default  Posted: 3:22 PM, May 6th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Yaaaay! Love it.

You looked/sounded awesome on Saturday, so I'm not even really surprised. And your lasagne? Devoured.


We are what we repeatedly do, excellence, then is not an act but a habit. - Aristotle

Posts: 16420 | Registered: Feb 2011 | From: California
Too_Trusting
♀ Member
Member # 99
Default  Posted: 5:29 PM, May 6th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thrilled for you, Click. THRILLED!!!


"Anyone perfect must be lying; anything easy has its cost. Anyone plain can be lovely; anyone loved can be lost." Barenaked Ladies

Posts: 2441 | Registered: Jun 2002 | From: North Carolina
Amazonia
♀ Member
Member # 32810
Default  Posted: 5:34 PM, May 6th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

One of the best updates I've read in a while. Thanks for sharing!!


"You yourself deserve your love and affection as much as anybody in the universe." -Buddha
"Let's face it, life is a crap shoot." -Sad in AZ

Posts: 13565 | Registered: Jul 2011
click4it
♀ Member
Member # 209
Default  Posted: 5:47 PM, May 6th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Come to think of it I don't think I've ever said I felt fantastic in all the 10 years I been posting on here.

Its a relief to actually say it and meaning it. Maybe its all the praying I've done, maybe its all the grief I've processed, maybe its my awesome counselor who I love and maybe its just...TIME. Maybe I'm almost 41 and just time to finally be free to be me and not feel afraid to feel great.

I don't know what it all means just yet, and I don't know how long it will last, but for now as I said I'm enjoying the ride and hoping to take new skills learned to keep scars zipped up and hurt feelings in the past.

Thanks Jazz for the compliment on the lasange. I tell ya its the one thing I'm pretty confident I can cook well. And I only make it for people I like.

[This message edited by click4it at 5:47 PM, May 6th (Monday)]


Me: 41
Two boys: 17 and 13
Divorced 12-13-05
d-day 10-02-01

Laughter will cure life's ills. Have you had your laugh today?


Posts: 25509 | Registered: Jun 2002 | From: California
little turtle
♀ Member
Member # 15584
Default  Posted: 8:13 PM, May 6th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

This is awesome!!!!


Failure is success if we learn from it.

Posts: 4131 | Registered: Aug 2007 | From: michigan
Amazonia
♀ Member
Member # 32810
Default  Posted: 8:14 PM, May 6th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage


"You yourself deserve your love and affection as much as anybody in the universe." -Buddha
"Let's face it, life is a crap shoot." -Sad in AZ

Posts: 13565 | Registered: Jul 2011
caregiver9000
♀ Member
Member # 28622
Default  Posted: 8:44 PM, May 6th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

yay!! this warms my heart.

I am so proud of you and happy for you and glad you came to share!!!

LOVE the word fantastic. It's that much better than "good"


Me: 43, independent, happy, despite co-parenting with a lower muppet
FT "Stretch" (and Skew!) ;)
DS 13 DS 10
S 5/2010
D 12/2012

Posts: 5608 | Registered: May 2010 | From: a better place
Jpapageorge
♂ Member
Member # 31800
Default  Posted: 4:45 PM, May 7th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Also, in case I didn't say it enough on Saturday, Jrazz is right. Anytime you want to make your lasagna, let me know and I will stop by and gladly releive you of any leftovers.


"Either get busy livin' or get busy dyin'." (and I prefer to live)
"Shame on me for kissing you with my eyes closed."
Spectemur agendo.
Me: FBBF

Posts: 1698 | Registered: Apr 2011 | From: California
Topic Posts: 21
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