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seachelle (original poster new member #39104) posted at 4:32 PM on Tuesday, May 7th, 2013
My WH left in a bad mood for work today. It makes me panic because that was what he was doing the 6 months he was with the OW. I would cry because I knew I wouldn't see him for a week or so because he had to be out of town on 'business' I'm having such a hard time with this and feel so needy every time he walks out the door. My flippin' mind won't stop turning. He missed our FIRST anniversary, no card, not a thing and then he uses the excuse that he doesn't believe in Valentines Day. But he was with her. What did he do for her? It is bugging the shit out of me right now and I am sick to my stomach. I am hoping this is just a bad day and things will look brighter tomorrow. We have a date night planned which is something I am looking forward to.
I'm rambling...sorry.
I am also scared because PMS week is coming around the corner and I suffer from depression. The doctor said I can up my meds when it is bad but it scares me. Ugh! this sucks, 
Jrazz ( member #31349) posted at 4:51 PM on Tuesday, May 7th, 2013
You are not alone seachelle. To this day, whenever FWH has a "bad day" and withdraws it's a one way ticket to triggersville for me.
Can you talk to him about this? It doesn't mean he's not allowed to be in a bad mood, but if he could hold your hands, look into your eyes and say "I love you and {reason} is why I'm in a bad mood, not you." that might help.
(((seachelle)))
"Don't give up, the beginning is always the hardest." - Deeply Scared's mom
Skan ( member #35812) posted at 9:21 PM on Tuesday, May 7th, 2013
Both my FWH and I have bad days. And nights. Times when we just feel utterly out of it and/or foul. That's human.
What we do is tell the other person when it happens. "Skan, I really feel grumpy tonight. Do you mind if I just sit and read?" "Mr. Skan, I ina really bad mood. I just want to be left alone. OK by you?"
We state our feeling, what we would like to do, and then essentially ask if that action is OK. Not the feeling feelings just are, neither right nor wrong. But is the action requested (being left alone, listening to music, going for a walk, etc.) OK with the other person. We both buy into the acknowleding the feeling and what action is being taken to try to not let that feeling leak out onto the other person. There have been times that I have said OK to FWH and then added, but I really need a hug first. And vice versa. And once the mood is lifted or at least lightened, we try to get to the bottom of it. Was it work? Was it physical (sinus headache, muscle pain)? Did someone's feelings get hurt? We try to work thru it so no "poison" is left in the house.
(((hugs))) on PMS week. I SO don't miss that nonsence my hysterectomy was the best thing I ever got for myself!
Imagine a ship trying to set sail while towing an anchor. Cutting free is not a gift to the anchor. You must release that burden, not because the anchor is worthy, but because the ship is.
D-Day, June 10, 2012
seachelle (original poster new member #39104) posted at 7:18 PM on Wednesday, May 8th, 2013
Thanks! We are going on a date night tonight and I will talk to him about it. He ended up sending me a bonsai tree to work later on that day. That made me feel much better. He has never sent me flowers or anything to home or work. My big concern is that we stay connected and this behavior isn't a band-aid. This is a permanent life change in our marriage.
I dug a little more today and found that all of his stories jive. But as I searched, I managed to make myself sick to my stomach. I have a new way to get past a plateau in anyone that is trying to lose weight 
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