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Reconciliation Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: I put my ring back on
FightingBack
♀ Member
Member # 34770
Default  Posted: 11:28 AM, May 14th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I haven't worn my ring or any other jewellery since dday.

WH didn't even notice. A friend of ours pointed out that I was not wearing it and I explained that I didn't feel married any more. The ring was a symbol,of our wedding vows which of course were broken.

WH never wore his wedding ring. I don't know if he even knows where it is.

He has never asked me about my ring.

Still don't feel married.


Me 53
WH 58
Married 25 years
4 children S30,D24, S23,S21
D-Day Nov. 29, 2011
15 year affair with married employee.
Together trying to make sense of it all!

Posts: 764 | Registered: Feb 2012
La Traviata
♀ Member
Member # 14941
Default  Posted: 12:02 PM, May 14th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

It's funny- WH taking off his ring (at a bar, with the intention of picking up a ONS) was the big part of why I left.

All last year I consciously kept my ring on- I never once took it off.

Since I left him last month I've had a horrible eczema flare on both hands, and the ring was making it worse by trapping moisture between my fingers. So I took it off. I'm strangely okay with it. I'll probably put it on when I go out with my roommate just as a "stop sign" but I'm quite comfortable not wearing it.


Really, really on the fence about this R business.


me: BW 31
him: WH, 29
DDay: 4/16/12
RelapseDay:4/15/13

A year of false R. I grew and worked, he didn't. He took off his wedding ring during an alcoholic relapse, I packed and left the next day. I went back 8 weeks later, working hard


Posts: 186 | Registered: Jun 2007 | From: NOVA
libertyrocks
♀ Member
Member # 38924
Default  Posted: 3:22 PM, May 14th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I still wear mine. Till death do us part, that's what I said and I meant it.


Me-BW 36. STBXH-35,Recovering Alcoholic, M6yrs T13. Boys 2 & 4 1/2.
DDay #1 Nov,2012. 1 1/2 year false R & TT. 10 OW PA's 1LTA (W lied to) 3 years.
S Nov, 2013 again Jan,2014
Filed for D Feb,2014.

Posts: 962 | Registered: Apr 2013 | From: So Cal, baby. :)
wifehad5
♂ Moderator
Member # 15162
Default  Posted: 7:06 PM, May 14th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I really didn't do it for her but for me

This here is the perfect reason for putting it back on imho

I've dropped hints that it might be nice to get new rings and renew vows at some point

Do I have you confused with another poster, or did you already renew your vows a few months ago?


FBH - 42
FWW - 43 (BrokenRoad)
2 kids 7&12

The people you do your life with shape the life you live


Posts: 37181 | Registered: Jun 2007 | From: Michigan
Beautifulmom
♀ Member
Member # 37611
Default  Posted: 9:13 PM, May 14th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I totally get this topic. I stopped wearing my rings a few months ago. WH didn't even notice until I pointed it out 2 months later. He said he felt bad about not noticing but since has not mentioned whether I wear them or not.
A few weeks ago I was at the grocery store and a really cute guy there kept checking me out. I have never noticed flirting or anyone checking me out before, but this one I noticed. When I went home I couldn't get it out of my head. I guess because of what happened my self esteem is so low that it was nice to have someone interested, like I needed that verification. The next week I caught myself wondering if any single dads would be at a preschool function that I was going to as I passed over my rings when getting ready.
That was a wake up call for me. I put my rings on and realized what a slippery slope it is. I saw a glimpse of what my ex bff must have wanted from my husband, and how nice it is to be looked at in that way. The difference is that I will never be like her. I am a good person, and will honor my vows and put others in my life first (even when they might now deserve it), and will never act so selfishly as to destroy the people I love's lives with my actions.

Yes, he made the rings meaningless. yes, my stomach turns when I think of him placing them on my finger 10 years ago (as she stood there 2 feet from me and held my flowers). But until I make it clear that I am taking them off for good I will honor my decision.


33 years old (Wh and me)
Married 10 years
2 children: 4yo and 1yo
Dday#1 10/28/12
Dday#2 12/24/12 (Merry Christmas)
Affair: 3+ years (as far as I know) w/my best friend of 14 years

Posts: 71 | Registered: Nov 2012 | From: Beautifulmom
Topic Posts: 25
Pages: 1 · 2

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