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Reconciliation Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: No Mind Movies. Weird?
libertyrocks
♀ Member
Member # 38924
Default  Posted: 12:02 PM, May 9th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

It's been 6 months since first Dday. Since the beginning I've only had a weekend of mind movies because that's when I found out there were multiple OW. Needless to say, I have absolutely no OW images when I'm with H. I'm with him and they don't matter to me. I noticed a lot of others get those mind movies.

I get mind movies with other things, like places they ate at, or checking into a hotel, or driving them in our vehicles, which we are in the process of getting rid of. I guess it's different for everyone, men/women.


Me-BW 36. STBXH-35,Recovering Alcoholic, M6yrs T13. Boys 2 & 4 1/2.
DDay #1 Nov,2012. 1 1/2 year false R & TT. 10 OW PA's 1LTA (W lied to) 3 years.
S Nov, 2013 again Jan,2014
Filed for D Feb,2014.

Posts: 962 | Registered: Apr 2013 | From: So Cal, baby. :)
mysticpenguin
♀ Member
Member # 38839
Default  Posted: 1:17 PM, May 9th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I have a kind of similar situation to yours -- at first, when I thought it was only 1 OW, I had mind movies. Then I found out it was 4 total (3 separate ONSs) and I only know what 1 OW looks like so... no more mind movies. Sometimes I have flashbacks to the time I got in his car and felt dirty, or the time I had a strong feeling that if I went home early from work I'd find something terrible out... I also have trouble watching TV shows or movies that reference one night stands, since I've never had one or even had casual sex -- I'll find myself thinking "So this is how it must have happened."

I think part of this may boil down to primary senses -- some people experience the world largely by feel (they tend to be kinetic learners who will say things like "I feel you"), by hearing (learn best by listening, tend to say things like "I hear you") or visually (learn by watching and tend to say things like "I see what you're saying"). The latter group probably tends to have the most trouble with mind movies.

I don't know if any of this helps but I wanted to say that I understand. ((hugs))


Betrayed

Posts: 306 | Registered: Mar 2013
sodamnlost
♀ Member
Member # 37190
Default  Posted: 1:24 PM, May 9th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

visually (learn by watching and tend to say things like "I see what you're saying"). The latter group probably tends to have the most trouble with mind movies.

YUP. Dead on for me. I am a visual learner and a photographer by profession. EVERYTHING is an image to me. My past, good and bad are all remembered as stills or videos in my mind. I have the worst time with mind movies - they are SOOOOOO real :-(


If it walks like a duck and quacks like a duck - it's not a fluffy pink unicorn squirting liquid rainbows, complete with pots of gold out of it's ass.

Posts: 769 | Registered: Oct 2012 | From: Nowhere pretty
crazyblindsided
♀ Member
Member # 35215
Default  Posted: 3:19 PM, May 9th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Nope not weird. I don't get them either unless I actively think about it.

I replay how the events happen over and over and the OW's words to me replay in my head.

I got to read all the deleted texts off my WH's iphone so my mind is branded with all of their lovely texts to one another

Just writing this out makes me want to scream, "Thanks WH for giving me another trauma in my life that will stay with me till my death."


BS/FWS (me):40 Madhatter
WS/BS:42 Serial Cheater
Together 18 years, Married 13
DD(10) DS(7)
DDay(s) 5/08, 5/09, 3/30/12
Final Dday 7/11/14 Affair never ended

Posts: 2266 | Registered: Apr 2012 | From: California
libertyrocks
♀ Member
Member # 38924
Default  Posted: 4:35 PM, May 9th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

wow, how did you get those deleted iphone texts, crazyblindsided?


Me-BW 36. STBXH-35,Recovering Alcoholic, M6yrs T13. Boys 2 & 4 1/2.
DDay #1 Nov,2012. 1 1/2 year false R & TT. 10 OW PA's 1LTA (W lied to) 3 years.
S Nov, 2013 again Jan,2014
Filed for D Feb,2014.

Posts: 962 | Registered: Apr 2013 | From: So Cal, baby. :)
3kids30years
♀ Member
Member # 38879
Default  Posted: 4:50 PM, May 9th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Makes sense to me - i am a visual learner, the mind movies have been HORRIFIC!!!

I'd love to know how to get the deleted text messages.....

I got to read all the deleted texts off my WH's iphone so my mind is branded with all of their lovely texts to one another

Share?

[This message edited by 3kids30years at 4:50 PM, May 9th (Thursday)]


BS - mid 50's
WH - mid 50's
DDay - 3/2/13 - 2:07pm
TT until 9/02/13
NC broken 4/15/14
2year+ "passionate" EA/PA

Married 30+ years and here I am. Heartbroken.
4/14 Trying to make it thru each day
9/14 - getting better. we


Posts: 217 | Registered: Apr 2013 | From: Nor Cal
Missymomma
♀ Member
Member # 36988
Default  Posted: 5:05 PM, May 9th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I haven't ever had many mind moves. A few, but I don't think my imagination works that well on certain things.


DDay - 6/15/11
R started - 7/1/11
False Discl- 9/27/12
Real Discl - 2/12/13
Poly - 3/1/13 Pass!
Me - BS (46)
WH - 52 (SA, NA, WA)
Kids: 2 littles and 1 grown
The road to recovery is long and hard. Some days I am up for it and others not!

Posts: 1084 | Registered: Sep 2012 | From: Texas
Theradin
♂ Member
Member # 38518
Default  Posted: 5:31 PM, May 9th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Definitely not weird. I used to get mind movies all the time. I think what stopped them for me was really learning EVERYTHING about what they did (and did NOT do), both sexually and non-sexually. Mind movies, from what I've read, are largely fantasy - they are your mind's way of creating a scenario - a backdrop - with which to make sense and "see" something, when you've never actually seen it (in person, in video, or in pictures). The more I allowed the reality of it to be fed to me, the less I had mind movies.

Plus, one factor for me is that my WW's AP was hideously unattractive and very repugnant. Knowing that, I no longer feel like I have to watch those movies to see how much 'better' he was than me, as I firmly believe that on my worst day, and on his best day, he couldn't hold a candle to me. Now, had her AP been Brad Pitt or something like that, well, I'm sure I'd be going crazy!


ME: 33 BH
HER: 32 WW
Married: 8 years
Children: Yes
DDay #1: 02/22/2006 (ONS)
DDay #2: 09/23/2012 (EA/PA)
DDay #3: 12/07/2012 (EA/PA)
DDay #4: 01/03/2013 (EA/PA)
DDay #5: 01/24/2013 (EA/PA)
TT until 04/07/2013
100% NC: 04/18/2013

Posts: 190 | Registered: Feb 2013
La Traviata
♀ Member
Member # 14941
Default  Posted: 6:55 PM, May 9th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Nope. Everyone's different. I have full blown PTSD (infidelity was not the initial trauma) and I've never had what most people would define as a "flashback."

I'll return to the emotional space of an event, but I never "see" anything, even in my mind's eye, unless I try.


me: BW 31
him: WH, 29
DDay: 4/16/12
RelapseDay:4/15/13

A year of false R. I grew and worked, he didn't. He took off his wedding ring during an alcoholic relapse, I packed and left the next day. I went back 8 weeks later, working hard


Posts: 186 | Registered: Jun 2007 | From: NOVA
Topic Posts: 9

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