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Reconciliation Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: 2 year antiversary
ColorMeSurprised
♀ Member
Member # 32709
Default  Posted: 12:32 PM, May 10th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Two years ago today I discovered H was actually WH. (d-day synopsis in profile)
Although I don't post much anymore, SI has been so helpful to my healing process. You cannot place value on the peace that knowing you're not alone in your feelings can bring.

R has had its ups and downs, but overall we're in a good place. Our marriage is stronger than pre-A, our love and appreciation for one another is deeper. fWH has been remorseful, loving, communicative. All the pretty words are backed up with actions.

The last few months have involved a lot of self-reflection. For a long time, I told myself that this was fWH's problem to fix. There was a post by CreekWalker in particular made me realize how much anger and resentment I was really holding on to and how this was negatively impacting my ability to be present in my marriage.

His A still enters my thoughts daily, if not hourly when I'm not actively engaged in something else. The pain is still right there, under the surface. Most days I can acknowledge its there and move along, avoiding things that may disturb the carefully packed ground cover. Some days I unearth the pain myself and just wallow in it, realizing its not healthy, but I just can't seem to stop myself. Re-reading that, it should, in all honesty, say "I choose to wallow in it".

Two years ago I learned the truth about my life. Today I begin the process of working on myself to let go of the anger and work towards true forgiveness.


Me, BW - 30ish
WH - 30ish
Dday May 2011
PA turned EA - 9 months
OW = Self proclaimed narcissist
In R

Posts: 87 | Registered: Jul 2011
Skan
♀ Member
Member # 35812
Default  Posted: 3:33 PM, May 10th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm so glad that you're in such a good place today. (((hugs)))


Imagine a ship trying to set sail while towing an anchor. Cutting free is not a gift to the anchor. You must release that burden, not because the anchor is worthy, but because the ship is.

D-Day, June 10, 2012



Posts: 4802 | Registered: Jun 2012 | From: So California
mchercheur
♀ Member
Member # 37735
Default  Posted: 3:47 PM, May 10th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Hi ColorMeSurprised,

Today is my 2 year antiversary too
(altho I did not discover SI until 12/2012, wish I had on Dday.)
I am so sorry it happened to you too-----we both had our worlds destroyed on the same day.

Am feeling sick to my stomach---am really grieving.


Most of what you wrote is the same for me, except that I don't think my WH really "gets it" yet.

I am happy for you that your M is is such a good place.

(((ColorMeSurprised)))


together 25 yrs, married 24 yrs, 4 children;Rebuilding
D Day: 5/10/2011 PA
OW: WH's co-worker,divorced, no children, 20 yrs younger than I-----& she knew he was married, had met our kids, but that did not stop her from trying to destroy our family

Posts: 1390 | Registered: Dec 2012
ColorMeSurprised
♀ Member
Member # 32709
Default  Posted: 12:11 AM, May 11th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thank you, Skan and mchercheur.

(((mchercheur))) - I can definitely relate to the grief you're feeling. It's always there, the nagging pain, that most others don't really understand, that intensifies when disturbed... Hope you were okay today, and continue to take care of you.


Me, BW - 30ish
WH - 30ish
Dday May 2011
PA turned EA - 9 months
OW = Self proclaimed narcissist
In R

Posts: 87 | Registered: Jul 2011
mchercheur
♀ Member
Member # 37735
Default  Posted: 8:32 AM, May 11th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((ColorMeSurprised)))


together 25 yrs, married 24 yrs, 4 children;Rebuilding
D Day: 5/10/2011 PA
OW: WH's co-worker,divorced, no children, 20 yrs younger than I-----& she knew he was married, had met our kids, but that did not stop her from trying to destroy our family

Posts: 1390 | Registered: Dec 2012
Topic Posts: 5

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