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Newest Member: peluche (44913)

Reconciliation Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: Letter to OW's Mom?
lilflower1000
♀ Member
Member # 36634
Default  Posted: 5:34 PM, May 10th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I have mentioned a few days ago that my anger has transferred from the other woman to the OW mother. The ow was 22 years old and pregnant. The OW introduced her mother to my husband (her mom knew he was married) and my husband introduced her mom to a friend of his from work. They all hung out together and drank,smoked ( my husband doesn't smoke but the others do) and screwed. If you are a mom, please tell me.. Could you imagine hanging out with your child who is pregnant with your grandchild while she is screwing some married guy? ( who is not the father BTW)Would you then ask your child if she can set you up with one of his friends?

They all hung out at the friendís house and , I guess, screwed each other. How trashy can you get? Not to mention endangering the baby. I have no idea how my husband could get involved with these types of people! He has always insisted that I take good care of myself when I was pregnant. How could he watch a young girl drink and smoke while pregnant when he wouldn't even let me in the baby's room when it was getting painted.

I guess I am starting to feel a little sorry for the girl since her own mother condoned and participated in this type of behavior with her and watched a married man obviously lie and manipulate her and didn't seem to care.

I actually wrote a letter to the mom, but I have not sent it. Would this be a bad idea? I imagine that you are all going to say it is a bad idea, but gosh I just feel like I need to confront both of them. This behavior is so sick! Maybe not in a mean way, but just in a what were you thinking kind of way. I mean maybe if she hears from me, she will think about how destructive this behavior is.

Okay, go ahead and shoot me down. I know what you will all say..Focus on my marriage and husband. My happiness is the best revenge. But I doubt they even know if I am happy or not.

Gosh what about the baby! The OW already lost her first two children when she was arrested for meth. Funny, they let her keep the baby after it was born.

BTW, my husband is doing everything and anything to repair the damage done to our marriage. The only things that he has not done, that I want him to do is to get the car back that he gave her and come with me to confront her. I might even give up the car if it helps her take care of the baby if I knew there was some remorse involved on her part.


lilflower1000
Me: 44 BS
Married 12 yrs
Dday:8/1/2012
True R: 12/2012
4kids(11, 8, 5, 4mos)+ 2 Step kids I love like my own

Posts: 309 | Registered: Aug 2012 | From: Georgia
dameia
♀ Member
Member # 36072
Default  Posted: 5:41 PM, May 10th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm not going to tell you not to send the letter because you should be focusing on your M, although that is true.

However, I am going to tell you to not send the letter because you don't want to invite that sort of crazy into your life!

I've met these types of people. If you send her the letter, most likely all you're going to do is piss her off.

She will never see how her destructive choices have impacted her daughter. It will go one of two ways....either she is the victim and gives you a big boo-hoo story about how hard her life is and she's doing her best, how dare you judge her parenting, blah, blah, blah.

Or she is going to come after you. People like her have no problem with physical confrontations.

Do your best to just pity her and OW. Sadly, nothing you can say will change them.


Me: BS
D-Day: 7/7/12

One should rather die than be betrayed. There is no deceit in death. It delivers precisely what it has promised. Betrayal, though ... betrayal is the willful slaughter of hope. ~Steven Deitz


Posts: 1136 | Registered: Jul 2012
NoraLee
♀ Member
Member # 37922
Default  Posted: 5:44 PM, May 10th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Don't send the letter to OW's mom. People like that NEVER get it!!! EVERYBODY knows smoking and drinking are destructive for the baby - there's million dollar campaigns educating us of that fact. So why does mom condone it? SHE DOESN'T CARE! Do what feels good when it feels good. Nothing from you will change a meth addict's and her mom's view on life.

About the car - is it worth much? Does H have a claim on it or did he buy it for her as a gift? I'd consider writing the vehicle off to maintain NC.

You have enough on your plate with your H and your M. Let the trash fall where it may and focus on what's worth saving.


Me - BW - 44
Him - FWH - 42
Married 16 years
D day - 1/2 truth - July 2012
Full disclosure - August 2012
EA with skanky waitress coworker
3 kids - 14, 16, 21
In R

Posts: 791 | Registered: Dec 2012 | From: Canada
Hearthache again
♀ Member
Member # 28564
Default  Posted: 11:56 PM, May 10th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

No use in sending the letter. She cares so little about herself and family that she is ok with risking an unborn child's health, she won't give 2 hoots about your letter.

I see 2 outcomes from sending the letter. 1: She finds it funny and will tell anyone and everyone who will listen how crazy you are, etc. 2: you piss her off beyond belief and she retaliates in who knows what fashion.

You are better than them. Try not to give them one more thought. They are not worth it.


HeHeHe Do watch for them to be on an up coming episode of Muary to find out who the babies daddy is. Or Steve Wilkos for partying while pregnant or allowing your pregnant daughter to drink with you.

[This message edited by Hearthache again at 11:58 PM, May 10th (Friday)]


Me-BS(32)
Him-WS(35)
Married-12 years together 13
Kids 4: 15, 12, 8, and 3
DDay#1 9-26-2008 Dday#2 4-26-2010
We have R!!! But I still hate the number 26!

This too shall pass
I edit a lot because that stupid box is so small!


Posts: 871 | Registered: May 2010 | From: Michigan
lilflower1000
♀ Member
Member # 36634
Default  Posted: 4:39 PM, May 11th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Well, I knew the answer to this one. I feel that sometimes I am just grasping at straws trying desperately to find something that will make me feel better.
Thanks for the feedback. And thanks for the laugh heartache. I have been feeling down and I needed it today.


lilflower1000
Me: 44 BS
Married 12 yrs
Dday:8/1/2012
True R: 12/2012
4kids(11, 8, 5, 4mos)+ 2 Step kids I love like my own

Posts: 309 | Registered: Aug 2012 | From: Georgia
Topic Posts: 5

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