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Just Found Out Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: Telling the other woman's husband
♂ Member
Member # 38835
Default  Posted: 3:18 PM, May 15th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Oh, and do the magazine or newspaper thing regardless.

"Arise and be all that you dreamed." ~Flyleaf

Posts: 136 | Registered: Mar 2013
♀ Member
Member # 38310
Default  Posted: 3:34 PM, May 15th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

It has to be a "restricted registered" letter that he can only be the one to sign for. The mail man knows what "Restricted" means. And get the tracking no. You can track it on line.

[This message edited by stillcrying4ever at 4:09 PM, May 15th (Wednesday)]

D Day May 27, 2012

Posts: 186 | Registered: Jan 2013 | From: USA
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Member # 15942
Default  Posted: 3:48 PM, May 15th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

My fWH didn't want to me to tell her exBS. He wasn't aware that her husband already knew. I had no intention of listening to him. He tried to make it a condition of our reconciliation, I filed for divorce. There is no way that I would have allowed him to dictate anything else in my life.

WS 45
BS 43

Met when we were 17 and 15. Together since 1983, married since 1985. Two kids, B21, G15.

d-day 4-3-07

Life has a way of making us get our panties in a wad.....I refuse to wear panties ever again.

Posts: 3974 | Registered: Aug 2007
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Member # 39243
Default  Posted: 4:46 AM, May 16th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Hi, I am struggling with the same issue. (read "peering into the abyss" thread in the just found out section.)

I hear and agree with the argument to tell the OWs H, but I fear that will set her off and prompt to contact my husband or somehow stir up trouble for my family. The OW is my daughters godmother and a complete sociopath . Telling her husband would mean her financial destruction as she is a high executive making 7 figures while her H is an at home dad. I just want to make sure I tell for the right reasons and not just for revenge. As tempting as it is , revenge for revenges sake is just as much against my morals as having an affair. I think I will tell him if I happen to run into him around town. I'm sure he'll be puzzled as to why his wife's best friend and family hasn't had anything to do with them suddenly. Do I really want to poke the bear while I am trying to R? I honestly don't know. My therapist says not to act impulsively but she didn't say absolutely not. Just trying to stay true to myself and not allowingmyselfmto get poisoned by this betrayal. I'm very conflicted.

Me: 50
Him: 57
Together 26 yrs, married 23 yrs
2 stepsons ( which I've helped raise) 29 & 28 and our son , 21 and daughter 19
OW was daughters Godmother and my Best Friend and has NPD (severe case)
DDay: 5/7/13

Posts: 29 | Registered: May 2013 | From: Medway, MA
♀ Member
Member # 34678
Default  Posted: 5:36 AM, May 16th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

This is what I have heard done:

Call in your phone book any local PI. Ask him what to do! Also call PI in the other town. Ask what evidence he would require from you to hand to the OBS when they are alone.

This is their main job...taking pictures of infidelity, but ALSO TELLING THE BS!!! They will have some good ideas for you.

In my town, the PI said he would get a DVD together. Then I would hire a PI in the other town to hand deliver to the OBS when he is alone. This happens all the time! This is their job.

In my town here were the 2 PI's I called. One, a lady said 500.00 for 10 hours.
THe other, a guy said 1500 up front that he puts in an escrow acct. When he has all the documentation, he gives me a detailed report of the charges and returns back the rest of the $$$ to me.

Also, you can make a free consult with an atty, tell them you are thinking about a divorce. Tell him you want to do the PI thing and who do they recommend. They know good pi's because they have to go up against them in court all the time!

[This message edited by homewrecked2011 at 5:37 AM, May 16th (Thursday)]

me BS 52
him - 46
married 15 years DIVORCED 10 31 12
children - ds15 ds12
d-day 12-19-11
I gave a 24hour ultimatum then went to attorney next day
Divorce filed

Posts: 2206 | Registered: Jan 2012
Topic Posts: 45
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