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Newest Member: tiredofpain (44925)

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User Topic: Another banana down
wildbananas
♀ Member
Member # 10552
Default  Posted: 1:40 PM, May 11th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

So the younger two bananas went on visitation this weekend... ex-asshat and BananaGirl13 have been having go-arounds with her dress and make up lately. He thinks it's excessive and hasn't been very nice about it. She's actually pretty tasteful about how she applies it but yeah, she ramped it up this weekend. I think she was trying to get him to accept her no matter how she looks but it surely backfired.

He just called, telling me he's very angry about how I let her dress and wear make up and he tried to "talk to her about it" (read: chewed her out) and she basically told him to go screw himself. He told me he was bringing her home and if that's how she was going to be, she was not welcome at his house anymore, especially as long as she looked like a "prostitute."

What. A. Fucking. Jackass.

On the bright side, it'll be better for her to not see him anymore, not if this is how it's going to be. And really, once she stops going, I can guarantee BananaGirl10 will stop, too.

I am so angry at him right now. I'm angry at his wife for encouraging it. And I'm so sad for my bananas. What kind of father treats his children like this? Alienates them to the point of not wanting anything to do with him? And lets them go?

She started IC through the school last week and I'm so glad... my poor girl. Her sperm donor, XSO, her brother (who walked away from all of us)... she's had nothing but men who have broken her heart.

[This message edited by wildbananas at 1:42 PM, May 11th (Saturday)]


Travel light, live light, spread the light, be the light. ~ Yogi Bhajan

Posts: 15393 | Registered: Apr 2006 | From: Now an AZ girl
MovingUpward
♂ Guide
Member # 14866
Default  Posted: 1:49 PM, May 11th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((WB and bananas)))


AKA Moo

Think of the haters in your life as sandpaper; they’ll scratch you up time and time again but in the end you’re polished, smooth, and spotless..while they end up useless

We make a living by what we get, but we make a life by what we give.


Posts: 52148 | Registered: Jun 2007 | From: Big Blue Nation
miadianna
♀ Member
Member # 10516
Default  Posted: 2:02 PM, May 11th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

So sorry WB, for you and your family. Young girls that age experiment with makeup and clothes, it's normal. It's temporary, she's just a teenage girl. Amazes me how they care about how it "looks" without thinking about what they have done and how that "looks." She needs his love and acceptance, not criticism and ignorance.

It's so hard. My daughter is better off not seeing her dad and his OW too. She knows it, it just makes her angry and resentful but it's so wrong.


Me: BS 53
Son: 27 years old
Daughter: 25 years old
D-day(s) 9/23/94 - 1/31/05
Divorced 4/10/08

Posts: 7474 | Registered: Apr 2006 | From: Illinois
wildbananas
♀ Member
Member # 10552
Default  Posted: 2:08 PM, May 11th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

What kind of man calls his 13 year old a whore and a prostitute?

Thanks guys... it's sad but they're better off without him.


Travel light, live light, spread the light, be the light. ~ Yogi Bhajan

Posts: 15393 | Registered: Apr 2006 | From: Now an AZ girl
tesla
♀ Member
Member # 34697
Default  Posted: 2:20 PM, May 11th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

ohmygoodness! He said she looked like a prostitute and then brought her back??!! What the fucking fuck is wrong with this guy? Wow. My mouth literally dropped when I read that.

I'm so sorry for your daughter. I remember when I was a teenager, I would push any button I could find with my dad. Anything to get a reaction out of him...and I had an intact family with no issues.

What a stupid man.

((((wb and bg13))))


"Thou art the son and heir of a mongrel bitch." --King Lear

Posts: 4620 | Registered: Jan 2012 | From: Indiana
persevere
♀ Member
Member # 31468
Default  Posted: 2:22 PM, May 11th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm so sorry wb, he's very short sighted, what an idiot.


Me: BW-44
Him: XWH-44
Together 9 yrs
DDays: 1/10/2011
Status: Divorced 4/27/11

Above all, be the heroine, not the victim. - Nora Ephron

It is our choices...that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities.
- J. K. Rowling


Posts: 4515 | Registered: Mar 2011 | From: Texas
nowiknow23
♀ Guide
Member # 33226
Default  Posted: 2:30 PM, May 11th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((((nanners and bananagirl13)))))

I'm sorry he's such an ass. Ugh. Who DOES that???


You can call me NIK

"Sometimes it takes a good fall to know where you really stand."
-Hayley Williams


Posts: 25305 | Registered: Aug 2011
metamorphisis
♀ Administrator
Member # 12041
Default  Posted: 2:33 PM, May 11th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Asshole.

She sure as hell just tested him to see how he would treat her and if he would be her dad and lay down some laws with love and he BLEW IT.
Every girl needs to hear "I will make sure you respect yourself because you are worth respect" and "You are too beautiful and I love you too much to present yourself in a way that people will take the wrong way".
But he decides the best way to protect her is to call her a prostitute. FAIL.

I would be beyond livid.

[This message edited by metamorphisis at 2:33 PM, May 11th (Saturday)]



“We don't see things as they are; we see them as we are.”... Anais Nin

Posts: 44685 | Registered: Sep 2006
caregiver9000
♀ Member
Member # 28622
Default  Posted: 2:50 PM, May 11th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((hugs)))

and righteous mama bear indignation and fury!!!

I remember the turquoise blue eye shadow and black liner... and lace everything of the 80's. I didn't turn out to walk the streets then or now. It is completely normal and natural!

I hate when they reject their kids because they don't like how they reflect on their own shallow self image. Stupid asshat.

Maybe you can rent The Breakfast Club and pop popcorn. Teenage angst at its best.


Me: 44, independent, happy, despite co-parenting with a lower muppet
FT "Stretch" (and Skew!) ;)
DS 13 DS 10
S 5/2010
D 12/2012

Posts: 5808 | Registered: May 2010 | From: a better place
Williesmom
♀ Member
Member # 22870
Default  Posted: 3:03 PM, May 11th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

What a dickhead.


You can stuff your sorries in a sack, mister. -George Costanza
There is a special place in hell for women who don't help other women. - Madeleine Albright

Posts: 7643 | Registered: Feb 2009 | From: Western PA
metamorphisis
♀ Administrator
Member # 12041
Default  Posted: 3:18 PM, May 11th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Maybe you can rent The Breakfast Club and pop popcorn. Teenage angst at its best.

Dd and I have started watching "My So Called Life" together. It's awesome. She gets to laugh at what we wore back then and she gets to see I was a teen too.. and I get it. I really do. It sounds silly but we're loving it.

Grab this negative experience, shake the crap out of it, and take it as an opportunity for the two of you to bond somehow.

[This message edited by metamorphisis at 3:19 PM, May 11th (Saturday)]



“We don't see things as they are; we see them as we are.”... Anais Nin

Posts: 44685 | Registered: Sep 2006
thyme2go
♂ Member
Member # 12908
Default  Posted: 4:37 PM, May 11th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Having seen FB pics of BG13, I think she dresses quite kool like. His loss.

My youngest DD (now 17) no longer has any interest in seeing her mom (who now lives 280 miles away).

-t2g


BH - no longer 48
3 DD's - (27, 24 and 17)
Divorced on 8/6/09

Posts: 9177 | Registered: Dec 2006 | From: Eastern Washington
NaiveAgain
♀ Member
Member # 20849
Default  Posted: 5:24 PM, May 11th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((wb & kids))) What a tool. I am so sorry she doesn't have a father who knows how to be a father, but I am so glad she has you.....he is an idiot but it is his loss.....


Original WS D-Day July 10, 2008. Kept lying, he is gone.
New WS (2 EA's, no PA) 12-3-13
If you don't like where you are, then change it. You are not a tree.

Posts: 15227 | Registered: Aug 2008 | From: Ohio
wildbananas
♀ Member
Member # 10552
Default  Posted: 6:46 PM, May 11th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

So, she and I were just talking:

Me: So, you should totally spoil me for Mother's Day tomorrow

BG: With your bank account

Me: Not cool!

BG: Well, I don't make a lot of money as a prostitute, so I really can't afford it.

It's too bad he doesn't appreciate her sense of humor. She's a pretty funny kid.

His loss indeed.

Thanks, all.


Travel light, live light, spread the light, be the light. ~ Yogi Bhajan

Posts: 15393 | Registered: Apr 2006 | From: Now an AZ girl
kernel
♀ Member
Member # 27035
Default  Posted: 6:52 PM, May 11th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Geez, what an asshat he is. Any one with half a brain would get that she was pushing boundaries just to get a rise out of people, and the best response is to ignore it! It's what teenagers do, and make-up is pretty freaking mild compared to what she could have been doing (drugs, sex, robbery, vandalism). Calling his own daughter those kind of names is unforgiveable, and she'll never forget it. Good for her for using humor to get rid of the hurt and anger. I'm sorry you and your bananas have to put up with the jackass. ((wb & bunch))


"On particularly rough days when I'm sure I can't possibly endure, I like to remind myself that my track record for getting through bad days so far is 100% and that's pretty good."

Posts: 5119 | Registered: Jan 2010 | From: Midwest
gonnabe2016
♀ Member
Member # 34823
Default  Posted: 8:08 PM, May 11th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

BG: Well, I don't make a lot of money as a prostitute, so I really can't afford it.

She's able to laugh about it, but......that shit's gotta hurt. Even if she knows he's a jerk, having her dad call her a prostitute and refuse to spend time with her......dang. That's some cold crap right there.

His loss. And one that he will come to regret one day.
*sigh* What a jerk.


"Oh, what a tangled web we weave when first we practice to deceive." - Sir Walter Scott

In my effort to be *concise*, I often come off as blunt and harsh. Sorry, don't mean to be offensive.


Posts: 8003 | Registered: Feb 2012 | From: Midwest
Kajem
♀ Member
Member # 36134
Default  Posted: 8:28 PM, May 11th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

((((((WB))))) (((((((banana13))))))

She will come to learn that her life without him is better than it was with him.

More hugs,

K


I trust you is a better compliment than I love you, because you may not trust the person you love, but you can always love the person you trust. - Unknown
Relationships are like sharing a book, it doesn't work if you're not on the same page.

Posts: 5067 | Registered: Jul 2012 | From: Florida
MyTurnATL
♀ Member
Member # 28856
Default  Posted: 8:34 PM, May 11th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Sounds like we were married to the same man. X treats our children with no respect and then gets pissed when they treat him the same way.

I'm sorry for your girls.


Posts: 453 | Registered: Jun 2010
Jrazz
♀ Guide
Member # 31349
Default  Posted: 11:39 PM, May 11th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Ugh I'm so sad and mad for you and Banana13. Good thing your girls have mom of the century. They're all wonderful.

You tell DD13 I think she's funny and sweet and pretty and fine just the way she is. She can come visit aunt Jrazz anytime.


I bow to those who keep their hearts open when it is most difficult, those who refuse to keep their armor on any longer than they have to, those who recognize the courage at the heart of vulnerability. - Jeff Brown

Posts: 17305 | Registered: Feb 2011 | From: California
persevere
♀ Member
Member # 31468
Default  Posted: 11:46 PM, May 11th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm thrilled she can joke about it, but sad that he made the ridiculous statement to begin with. #FUCKEDUPDAD #FAILASAPARENT

I'm also glad she has the relationship with you that she can joke about it - that means SO much.


Me: BW-44
Him: XWH-44
Together 9 yrs
DDays: 1/10/2011
Status: Divorced 4/27/11

Above all, be the heroine, not the victim. - Nora Ephron

It is our choices...that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities.
- J. K. Rowling


Posts: 4515 | Registered: Mar 2011 | From: Texas
Topic Posts: 37
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