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Newest Member: hewaseverything (44947)

Divorce/Separation Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: Did Ex WS wish you a Happy Mother's Day
wildbananas
♀ Member
Member # 10552
Default  Posted: 8:27 AM, May 13th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Nope. But he did send our 13 year old home from visitation, saying she looked like a prostitute and she wasn't welcome in his home, along with a bunch of other crap that broke her heart.


Travel light, live light, spread the light, be the light. ~ Yogi Bhajan

Posts: 15394 | Registered: Apr 2006 | From: Now an AZ girl
Lola2kids
♀ Member
Member # 32789
Default  Posted: 8:48 AM, May 13th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Nope.
Nothing.
He usually sends a text and I just shake my head at the stupidity. Nothing this year.

He hasn't been around or called the kids since last Monday.

I suspect he is in Europe with MOW. I had 3 phone calls with blocked numbers that I don't pick up and no message was left. Could have been him. Don't care.

He can't win anymore with me. If he texts me or tries to call, I think he's a POS. If he doesn't do anything, he's a POS.

Basically, I just think he's a POS.


BS: (Me) 47
Kids: twins DD(10)
D-Day April 18, 2011
Him:out Sept. 11, 2011
He moved to Europe June 27, 2014.
"They say that absence makes the heart grow fonder but I am growing more and more fond of his absence"

Posts: 1386 | Registered: Jul 2011 | From: Ontario, Canada
ButterflyGirl
♀ Member
Member # 38377
Default  Posted: 8:53 AM, May 13th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

He can't win anymore with me. If he texts me or tries to call, I think he's a POS. If he doesn't do anything, he's a POS.

Basically, I just think he's a POS.

Oh, thank you for this Lola. I really needed it today. Ditto on that every day and twice on Sundays


xBW~ 35
Two of the most darling sons ~ 10 and 7

Posts: 2239 | Registered: Feb 2013 | From: Florida, USA
SBB
♀ Member
Member # 35229
Default  Posted: 8:54 AM, May 13th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

whoremuppets.


I may have reached a point where I'd piss on him if he was on fire.... eventually!!

Posts: 5558 | Registered: Apr 2012 | From: Australia
Dadtryingtocope
♂ Member
Member # 36726
Default  Posted: 9:02 AM, May 13th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I said nothing other than my text to her at 9:30 saying you are late for your 9:00 AM pick up of the kids. She didn't pick them up until 4:30PM and my oldest wouldn't go with her. Outright refused. She didn't know what to do so she left him with me. So she did not spend Mother's Day with one of her two kids. I did say to her during the early exchange "I guess you didn't plan to spend time with your kids on Mother's Day. The fact you did not even have the decency to give me a heads up you would be out of town and not pick up at the time designated by the custody agreement is both selfish and inconsiderate."

I expect nothing on Father's Day other than to have my kids ready by 9AM for me to pick up and take on vacation for that week.

F-ing Muppet.


BH me 46
WW her 38
DDay 8-17-12
2 kids (12, 9)
Filed for D 9/14/12
Divorced 4/17/13
She - engaged 5/13 married 9/13

Posts: 522 | Registered: Sep 2012 | From: PA
movingfast
♀ Member
Member # 32306
Default  Posted: 9:57 AM, May 13th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

No, and I'm actually a little miffed about that. This is the first time since DDay that he has not taken the kids to buy cards for me. And, he had the kids on Saturday AND they ate dinner at the mall so he had the opportunity. Plus he knew it was Mother's Day because I made a point to tell him ow was not welcome at DD1's tournament this weekend.

Through the years I have, with the kids, made him some very sentimental gifts for Father's Day. He has these items hanging around his computer area. Plus, it's actually in the final D papers that each parent is to support the children in celebrating these things. So, I'm left with, do I do nothing like he has or do I lead by example and have the kids get him something.


Me BW: 46
Him WH: 48
DD: 5-20-11
M: 14 yrs. Together 15 yrs.
Children: (4) ages 14 and younger.
Divorced: 5/24/13
**my apologies for the typos... I login off my tablet and the "smart" type isn't always so smart.

Posts: 266 | Registered: May 2011 | From: movingfast
ExposedNiblet
♀ Member
Member # 30803
Default  Posted: 10:04 AM, May 13th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Good Lord no...and I'm loving the silence.


Divorced
Me ($39.95 plus S & H)
DS1(17), DS2(15)

Enjoying this chapter in my life.
Learning that being alone does not mean being lonely.
Discovering that where I've been is not as important as where I'm going.


Posts: 355 | Registered: Jan 2011 | From: Right Here, Canada
Newlease
♀ Member
Member # 7767
Default  Posted: 10:17 AM, May 13th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I always get a Happy Mother's Day text from XWH. Whatever happened between us, he knows I was/am a good Mama.

NL


Even if you can't control the world around you, you are still the master of your own soul.

Posts: 7690 | Registered: Aug 2005
dmari
♀ Member
Member # 37215
Default  Posted: 11:29 AM, May 13th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Nothing. While I was shopping for mother's day cards at Hallmark, I saw that they actually had cards for "mother of my children" and "former mother-in-law". I thought for a mili-second he would acknowledge me this year but then I laughed and reminded myself that he never did before so why now. The best predictor of future behavior is past behavior.


Me (BS): 42 Children: DD 19, DS 15
Settled at mediation
Officially divorced ... SOON!

Posts: 2196 | Registered: Oct 2012
hoya96
♀ Member
Member # 28851
Default  Posted: 3:41 PM, May 13th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

He gave me the gift of not contacting me (not being snarky). He didn't contact me all weekend. It was awesome.

I used to make sure the kids got him Christmas, birthday and Father's Day gifts until I was firmly instructed by ex that it was OW's job to do that now. Duly noted.

My husband (re-married) made it a FANTASTIC day as it was also our 1 year anniversary. It was a perfect day with the kids.


Me: 40 and fabulous!
3 children ages 10, 12 and 14
Ex said he wanted separation 2/14/10
DDay #1: 5/23/10 18 month affair with his 22 yr old paralegal
DDay #2 9/22/10 my best friend, now his wife
Divorced: 12/10/10
Re-married a wonderful man.

Posts: 325 | Registered: Jun 2010
suckstobeme
♀ Member
Member # 30853
Default  Posted: 6:15 PM, May 13th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Moving fast - I'm sorry your asshole ex is, well, an asshole.

As to your question about whether to give him the same treatment or lead by example, I would be in favor of teaching your children to do the right thing no matter how much it sucks. They need to learn that it's important to acknowledge these days and show respect, not just to their father, but to others as they grow. Eventually, they will have their own families and it's important that they have a grasp of these concepts.

That said, I would not advocate spending any of your money, or at least a decent amount of money, on him. I spend about ten dollars on my ex for gifts from the kids for fathers day, Christmas, and his birthday. I usually let them pick out some chocolate because that's what he likes and then they pick out an inexpensive cd or DVD. The kids can make things to supplement until they are old enough to save their own money and ask you to take them to buy a little something with their allowance.

just my two cents.


BW - me
ExWH - "that one"
D - 2011
You get what you put in, and people get what they deserve.
Hard as it may be, try to never give the OP any of your power or head space.

Posts: 2794 | Registered: Jan 2011
Helen of Troy
♀ Member
Member # 26419
Default  Posted: 6:37 PM, May 13th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

No, never has.

Posts: 4703 | Registered: Dec 2009
npain
♀ Member
Member # 33539
Default  Posted: 10:05 AM, May 14th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I got a generic Happy Mother's day text. Mind you, he saw me in person and didn't wish me anything to my face...


S,beginning D

Posts: 508 | Registered: Oct 2011 | From: New York
newlysingle
♀ Member
Member # 38735
Default  Posted: 4:11 PM, May 14th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Nope. Showed up to take dd to breakfast 45 minutes late and then admitted it was because he had to drive OW to the airport.

He then was a giant asshole until I told him to get the hell out of my house. Prick.


BW - Me (37)
XWH - (37) The Gnat
OW - Some dumb whore he picked up in another state and moved here here. Known as Hello Kitty.
M for 8 years, together for 10
1 DD (5), 1 DS (1 year)
Dday 3/13
Divorced 9/20/13

Posts: 897 | Registered: Mar 2013
Helen of Troy
♀ Member
Member # 26419
Happy  Posted: 4:54 PM, May 14th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Wanted to add: SO is 40yo and does not have any children. He got me a Mother's Day Gift.

Posts: 4703 | Registered: Dec 2009
BrighterFuture
♀ Member
Member # 38914
Default  Posted: 2:00 AM, May 15th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

To those who got recognition of any kind, good for you. To those who didn't like me, aren't we glad we got rid of POS? My son is too young to do anything for me or him at this time, but when the time comes if he wants to do something for his dad, then I will support him then.
Have a blessed week everyone


Me:30
Him:31
D-day:2/24/13 (I was 10 weeks pregnant at the time and DS was 15 months)
Status: Parted ways!

"If only I can fight just a little longer, I know it's gonna make me stronger" Jamie Grace-Holding on.


Posts: 345 | Registered: Apr 2013 | From: Ohio
BrighterFuture
♀ Member
Member # 38914
Default  Posted: 2:01 AM, May 15th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

[This message edited by VeryHurtbroken at 2:03 AM, May 15th (Wednesday)]


Me:30
Him:31
D-day:2/24/13 (I was 10 weeks pregnant at the time and DS was 15 months)
Status: Parted ways!

"If only I can fight just a little longer, I know it's gonna make me stronger" Jamie Grace-Holding on.


Posts: 345 | Registered: Apr 2013 | From: Ohio
movingfast
♀ Member
Member # 32306
Default  Posted: 6:05 AM, May 15th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

suckstobeme
Your words are right on. Stbxwh has fallen short and proved how inconsiderate and disrespectful he truly is through all of this. Some of it is hiss own internal battle of how to "multitask" and treat me nicely without is "interfering" with his ability to be in a relationship with ow. The rest is because if he treats me nicely, ow gets p!ssed and he has to deal with her brand of crazy. Total trust issues there.

Anyway, all along I have battled with sinking to his level or taking the high road to be true to myself. Being true to myself always wins out. Like you said, it's leading by example and showing my children how to do the right thing. We talk frequently about the Golden Rule and, unless I practice what I preach, it's not going to resonate with them.

Thank you.


Me BW: 46
Him WH: 48
DD: 5-20-11
M: 14 yrs. Together 15 yrs.
Children: (4) ages 14 and younger.
Divorced: 5/24/13
**my apologies for the typos... I login off my tablet and the "smart" type isn't always so smart.

Posts: 266 | Registered: May 2011 | From: movingfast
la433
♂ Member
Member # 38835
Default  Posted: 6:23 AM, May 15th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I got my xWW gift cards--one from me and one from the kids. I called her and wished her a happy mother's day.

That night she called me back and she sounded horrible, crying and shit. I asked what was wrong and she said she didn't have that great of a day.

I wanted to say, "isn't this what you wanted?"

I suppose the OM didn't get her anything or didn't call or something. Or maybe it was his weekend with his kids and they can't be around her.

No matter. I have to admit while I felt sorry for her, I also smiled a bit because what she has done to *us* deserves a bit of poetic justice, does it not?

For you all of you mothers who had crappy WHs, I'm sorry. But I would encourage you not to treat him like he treats you. I'd still get him a father's day card or something. Do you pour your heart into it? No.

The way I look at is "covering bases". Because we have kids together, I don't want to create a situation where she is able to say "see, your father didn't even get me this or that".

Of course, I know it's in vain, but just sayin...

Am i wrong?


"Arise and be all that you dreamed." ~Flyleaf

Posts: 136 | Registered: Mar 2013
SeanFLA
♂ Member
Member # 32380
Default  Posted: 9:44 AM, May 15th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I didn't do anything for her in terms of getting my 13 year old organized with a gift or anything. I texted him early Sunday morning to make sure he wished her a Happy Mother's Day and to do nice things around the house all day for her..and that was it. I feel a bit guilty about it, I'm not sure why. But the days of me spending money on her for my son are over. She got Mother's Day presents (that I of course bought) from my son the last two years. The only thing she had my son get for me on Father's Day that last two years was a card...and she's Miss MoneyBags. So I'm done with it. I really don't care if my son gives me anything. I'm not really high maintenence like that. Besides, he and I are taking a trip for 10 days to see my mother during Father's Day and spend it with the extended family, so it will be busy for us. She needs to realize what's she's done to me and our family and live with the consequences. I don't want to care about her at all anymore nor think about her feelings like that since she couldn't be bothered with mine with what she did. I always treated her very well on those days (Mothers Day, birthday, etc). She needs to see that.


BS(me) 48
WW 46
1 son 14 yrs old
Married 18 yrs, together 21 yrs

"You never know how strong you are until being strong is the only choice you have." ~ Bob Marley


Posts: 1469 | Registered: Jun 2011 | From: Zombie Land
Topic Posts: 44
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