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Newest Member: WillThriv (44937)

Divorce/Separation Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: Mother's day Message from WH
jackie89
♀ Member
Member # 38271
Default  Posted: 9:23 PM, May 12th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I got a "Happy Mother's Day" from him.

Isn't that nice? NO, because, in the 17 years that was a mother while married, never once did he make me feel special, never once did he take the kids out and "hey let's go get something for mom". His thing was always, "you're not my mom".

It just triggered me badly, 3 years ago on Mother's day, he was deep in the affair with Skank, and I remember going to my son's soccer game and staying the car crying, can't remember exactly why, but it was a time that he just made my life a living hell - couldn't do anything right.

I just felt like telling him - GO eff yourself. But crickets is what he got.

DD had a soccer game, and she chose, not to go - to spend the day with me. I didn't call him to let him know, assumed DD would, He went to soccer game, and DD not at game. Sent me another message - "next time tell me, so I don't go to game if she isn't going to be there" Ok fair... but still got crickets.

I like this crickets thing, somehow it gives me more satisfaction than the message back and forth. Wish I had learned that lesson earlier.

Anyway, made a really nice brunch, invited another single mom and kids, then spent the afternoon - just chilling with DD watching LifeTime Movies.


Separated/divorcing

"The Secret of Change is to focus all your energy - not on fighting the old, but on building the new" ~~Lori Greiner FB post~~


Posts: 481 | Registered: Jan 2013 | From: Pennsylvania
LadyQ
♀ Member
Member # 32847
Default  Posted: 9:28 PM, May 12th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Oh, Lord! I could have written your post! Right down to the "you're not my mom". Wow! It's like they're twins separated at birth!


Tune out the noise of what others tell you about who you are and work it out for yourself...

Posts: 1650 | Registered: Jul 2011
dmari
♀ Member
Member # 37215
Default  Posted: 9:30 PM, May 12th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Oh fuck him!! and his Mother's Day message.

I am so proud of your crickets!! Good for you!! and I'm glad you had a nice mother's day!!


Me (BS): 42 Children: DD 19, DS 15
Settled at mediation
Officially divorced ... SOON!

Posts: 2195 | Registered: Oct 2012
Jayne Doe
♀ Member
Member # 32664
Default  Posted: 10:08 PM, May 12th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Omg!!

Mine used to tell me the same thing - You are not my mom!

They do all read the same book!

Screw them. Life is better off without those remarks.


Everyday is a blank canvas, and only you hold the brush.
30y M traded in for a POM (pathetic Old Maid 46, 2 kids from different dads. never married)
S 11/11, D final 1/14.

Posts: 1454 | Registered: Jul 2011 | From: Suburbia, Arizona
Dawn58
♀ Member
Member # 37656
Default  Posted: 4:15 AM, May 13th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Sorry but I am not familiar with the expression "crickets"? I have seen it in other topics.

Thanks!

Dawn 58


I got into the marriage, because I loved him. I got out of the marriage, because I love me.

Posts: 468 | Registered: Nov 2012 | From: Southern California
ButterflyGirl
♀ Member
Member # 38377
Default  Posted: 6:52 AM, May 13th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

"You're not my mom." UGH!! That's total bull. I'm only the mother of your children, am I not? Can you not take a day to appreciate what a good job I'm doing as a MOTHER?? Erg, that really gets to me..

And Dawn, crickets is what you hear when you are quiet and can only hear the crickets chirping, so it means don't respond, no contact, give him the silent treatment..


xBW~ 35
Two of the most darling sons ~ 10 and 7

Posts: 2239 | Registered: Feb 2013 | From: Florida, USA
jackie89
♀ Member
Member # 38271
Default  Posted: 7:07 AM, May 13th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thank you ladies.. Yes that "you're not my mom" always made me sad, but again it was one of those things in the marriage that I didn't like, but learn to accept it - as in "a well, if that's the worst he'll ever do to me, I can live with that" if only I knew.....


Separated/divorcing

"The Secret of Change is to focus all your energy - not on fighting the old, but on building the new" ~~Lori Greiner FB post~~


Posts: 481 | Registered: Jan 2013 | From: Pennsylvania
TrustGone
♀ Member
Member # 36654
Default  Posted: 8:30 AM, May 13th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Yes. I always got the "you are not my mom" from both my WH's. I just did the same thing, "you are not my dad" when father's day rolled around.


BW-50
WH#2-51
M-9 yrs T-11 yrs
4 children-none together
DD#1-9/5/11 LTA 2yrs
DD#2-7/3/12 False R
DD#3-4/29/13 (OW broke NC)
Status: Your guess is as good as mine.

Posts: 2420 | Registered: Aug 2012 | From: Texas
sunshine226
♀ Member
Member # 38851
Default  Posted: 8:42 AM, May 13th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I, too, would get the "you're not my mom"! Wonder if he used it on OW yesterday, poor thing

But at least I had "but I am a mom because of you" to say to him. OW cant say that to WH, 2 other poor guys had that misfortune. But they got out, and never looked back, kids have no relationship with their dads

So now my kids have be abandoned by WH for her kids, thankfully they are older and speak their own minds, i dont have to do a thing.

They hate him for what hes done. As for Father's day, he wont be getting any wishes from me this year, he hasnt wished me a happy mothers day

[This message edited by sunshine226 at 8:43 AM, May 13th (Monday)]


Me-BS (44)
Him-WS (47)
DDay 1/1/2012, common law for 22 1/2 years when he began A in September 2011
Status: moving on without him

Posts: 234 | Registered: Mar 2013
jackie89
♀ Member
Member # 38271
Default  Posted: 9:44 PM, May 13th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Sunshine, yes I agree, no. Fathe's day wish coming from me!


Separated/divorcing

"The Secret of Change is to focus all your energy - not on fighting the old, but on building the new" ~~Lori Greiner FB post~~


Posts: 481 | Registered: Jan 2013 | From: Pennsylvania
Topic Posts: 10

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