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Just Found Out Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: I'm back unfortunately
aesir
♂ Member
Member # 17210
Default  Posted: 4:25 PM, May 14th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Talk to as many lawyers as you can to make sure you know your rights.

Don't assume that just because she wants to split up you have to be the one to give up your home and children.

Yeah, phone is likely gonna be lost soon I'm sure.


Your mileage may vary... in accordance with the prophecy.

Do not back up. Severe tire damage.


Posts: 14924 | Registered: Nov 2007 | From: Winnipeg
homewrecked2011
♀ Member
Member # 34678
Default  Posted: 8:01 PM, May 14th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Don't leave your home until you see an atty. She will have to pay you ch support and you can get an overnight person to stay with your kids.

You wife will prob bring someone else in right away which will hurt your children's feelings, and you don't want some MF in your home if it can be helped.

STAY IN THE HOUSE FOR NOW...

[This message edited by homewrecked2011 at 8:04 PM, May 14th (Tuesday)]


me BS 52
him - 46
married 15 years DIVORCED 10 31 12
children - ds15 ds12
d-day 12-19-11
I gave a 24hour ultimatum then went to attorney next day
Divorce filed

Posts: 1955 | Registered: Jan 2012
notsosureanymore
♂ Member
Member # 18051
Default  Posted: 2:13 PM, May 15th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thanks all and 1faith you are spot on I would like to forgive and be together again. as for oknow said so perfectly. and She says is not in love with me she wants other men so I think it is over and yes it is abuse and i am done with it. It will be hard. I got to sleep in the bed and her on the sofa. I left work yesterday after 2 hours because I had no sleep and it was hot and i was starting to break down I told my supervise I had to leave and that I was most likely going to divorce. I can not do that again. I just read some pre divorce tips and we should be able to do a no contest divorce. At this time I dont know how with out her working. At first I tried to sleep in the base ment but we have loud fishtank there. I told her not to bring anyone to our home and she said she wont. And yes i wish I could just lose the phone but she needs it to find a job. and she bought the droid any way and she has my sons same phone, he is grounded from it for grades. I just filled her gas tank. we dont have a shared checking account since the first affair, so she never has any money unless I put some in there. It looks like it will be till june untill I can move I just don't know if we will make it that long in the same house, unless she can "willingly return to you remorseful and ready to work for a better relationship" I asked her if its been years in the making why didn't she tell me when we had our taxes instead we bought her a better used car. we gone threw gobs of money lately and now were hand to mouth again. I got a prepaid secure visa card with a 1000 on it I told her I will give her half as long as it is in a secured visa to build her credit as i had planed for us. She will probally just blow the money.

Posts: 221 | Registered: Feb 2008
OK now
♀ Member
Member # 14459
Default  Posted: 8:17 PM, May 15th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

You sound like a decent, moral person and I'm sorry for this grief that has descended upon you.

Your wife is a selfish, callous human being who is devoted to her own interests. There's the key; you have to adopt a similar attitude towards her. Put your own interests first; everything needs to be about you and what benefits you. Stop being so kind and giving, pay her back in her own coin or she'll strip you bare of self-esteem and possessions. Incidentally WW will accord you more respect when she sees you toughen up.

Do not leave your home, make her leave instead after she has a job. Treat her like the enemy she has become, or much more misery awaits you.


Posts: 1689 | Registered: May 2007 | From: NC
Getting to Happy
♀ Member
Member # 35200
Default  Posted: 10:53 AM, May 16th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Do not leave your home, make her leave instead after she has a job. Treat her like the enemy she has become, or much more misery awaits you.

THIS^^^110%

Please, please don't leave your home. She should leave. She is the enemy. Who cares how she finds a job. Whatever!! But lose that phone! And take the other phone from your son if necessary.

Don't let her PUNK you. Especially in front of your kiddos.

You said earlier that you never really dealt with the first infidelity. So this is 'lather-rinse-repeat'?

Don't fall into 'option B' mode so quickly. She is expecting you to fold.

I know that you are reeling from shock. So as gently as I can say this:

You must MAN UP.

You will have to get angry enough not to accept her shitty treatment of you.

Take control of the situation. You must stanch her ability to communicate in your home in front of you! No Computer, No Cell phone, Hold on to your cash.

See if you can pay a housekeeper to cook and clean. Use the money that you would normally give her...That was her job but she quit...so replace her.

She can stay until she gets a job (give her a time limit for that) and she sleeps with the fishes. NOT YOU.

You did not blow up the marriage, she did, she is actively in an A. There should be some consequences for her betrayal.

Let whomever is on the receiving end of her texts pay for her gas, get her a phone...hell, give a place to stay! Why would you fund her Affair???

A REALLY HARD 180 is in order notsosureanymore!


WS him
BS me DD's 26, 25' DS 23
dd1 1-1-10, dd2 Mothers Day 2011, dd3 3-12-12 Hawaii trip with ho-worker...

Never forget what is worth remembering or remember what is best forgotten.
Unknown


Posts: 1138 | Registered: Apr 2012 | From: La La Land
notsosureanymore
♂ Member
Member # 18051
Default  Posted: 2:39 AM, May 17th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Wow OK.I am not going to leave the home i just came home from work and she is sleeping on the sofa behind me or maybe pretending to. She has her phone in her hand, she claim she is only playing her games and that the guy in the phone sex went back to reconcile with his wife, she said he was on the couch when the what I presume the jacking off took place, I said your just a free 900 number for him if he really looks like the pic really.I thought about calling his number but I don't know what to sat or would it do any good but maybe he could honestly tell me it is over, but I doubt that. I don't do the 180 very well and I already miss her. See if those phones disappear she said she would call the cops on me, she does pay for them. Today I am going to get my own phone and be off her plan. I only have 30.00 plan with no Internet. I guess she already wrote down his number in case I get the phone and she can get him through the hobbit game. I asked about him she said he was a big money maker faced 4000 a month alimony and child support. And I am so freaking poor She said she wanted to go to NY and see her sister last Sunday now i know why. Me then not knowing then considered it thinking it would help us. Tomorrow I just have to 180 by no more question to her about it, I know enough, and I will never measure up to anyone. Should I jack the phone even though I don't pay the bill?

[This message edited by notsosureanymore at 3:42 AM, May 17th (Friday)]


Posts: 221 | Registered: Feb 2008
notsosureanymore
♂ Member
Member # 18051
Default  Posted: 3:41 AM, May 17th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I still have her valentines day card she gave me on my side of the headboard, she sure falls in and out of love fast.

[This message edited by notsosureanymore at 3:06 PM, May 17th (Friday)]


Posts: 221 | Registered: Feb 2008
notsosureanymore
♂ Member
Member # 18051
Default  Posted: 8:35 AM, May 20th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

[This message edited by notsosureanymore at 1:40 PM, May 21st (Tuesday)]


Posts: 221 | Registered: Feb 2008
notsosureanymore
♂ Member
Member # 18051
Default  Posted: 8:35 AM, May 20th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

[This message edited by notsosureanymore at 1:40 PM, May 21st (Tuesday)]


Posts: 221 | Registered: Feb 2008
notsosureanymore
♂ Member
Member # 18051
Default  Posted: 8:35 AM, May 20th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

i

[This message edited by notsosureanymore at 1:39 PM, May 21st (Tuesday)]


Posts: 221 | Registered: Feb 2008
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