Go out and do something. Anything. Movie, shopping, lunch, something.
The worst thing to do is stay and think about EVERYTHING.
You can't/won't have all the answers - EVER. So take it one day and one situation at a time. The future will take care of itself. We don't know the plan but we know it will happen regardless of how much we worry/fret.
Today, go see your mom. Do something that makes you feel good about you.
Write "affair" on a piece of paper and burn it. Let it go for now.
Keep moving. You can do it. I know you can.
Stand tall, shoulders up and move sister.
1Faith just offered you some great advice.
I am not an expert in any way but it sounds like depression is starting to kick in for you.
I read in your previous post how hard it is just to get out of bed and I can tell you I've been there one too many times, for too many years...(even just a few weeks ago).
While it is good to process our feelings when dealing w/the aftermath of an A, it's also so very important to take care of ourselves in the process.
I am now working on losing ALL of the weight (all 39 lbs, give a take a few from pregnancy), left that I gained due to emotional eating while depressed about my M, and my life in general.
I was a lot heavier just a couple of years ago and managed by God's grace to lose close to 25 lbs of what I gained coming into R but still have a ways to go and am working on...
Don't let yourself get there because of losing yourself.
I know it's easier said than done but 1Faith is right. It's OK to give yourself a break from all of the heartache and pain you've been through recently.
You always have us at SI but if possible, see if you can build a support group who cares about your well-being that you can be around (even if just to do things with and not really talk about the A with) to give you a break from your reality a little.
Doing so may put some things into perspective for you and instead of staying home in fear of the future, you may begin to get proactive about your present and take your future by the horns!!
You can't control what your WH decides to do but you don't have to let what he does dictate how your life is going to be now. You couldn't control his A but you can control how you let what he did affect you.
Hurt and cry when you need to but also live and enjoy yourself too when you need to because you have to look out for you more than anything else right now.
You are not alone! Feel better, Sis!!!
You are stronger than how you feel right now. (((savvy)))
presently working towards...well i don't know anymore...
It's a cliche and overused statement here Savy, but time will heal and you will feel better with it. Just keep focusing on you. I'm glad that you keep posting. Surviving Infidelity sucks, but you are surviving. Wishing you strength.
"I can fill the flask up, but can't get past us
I'm in the storm, staying strong, but can't get back up"
I'm sorry you are going through this. After so many years with someone, the last thing you expect to hear is that they aren't who you thought they were. I have the same feelings you do about the future. Its so scary to think about. The people I talk to keep telling me not to worry too much about the future just focus on getting through the day. Its hard.
I just watched Fried Green Tomatoes. Have you ever watched that movie? It really cheers me up. Can you call a friend and go out for lunch?
You are loved and your life is worth something. Don't let your dumb husband make you believe anything different. ((((hugs))))
Art? Volunteer work? Whatever you like or wanted to be.
I know what it is like to be stuck at home. To stew on this. I am a stay-at-home mother.
If it is because you are really too tired to get going (depression/motivation) try drugs to get that boost.
The best thing you can do-flourish in-spite of the A.
I can hold my head up high and look at myself in the mirror with dignity.
[This message edited by savvy at 2:48 PM, May 15th (Wednesday)]