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Newest Member: ReasonableDoubt (44577)

Just Found Out Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: Writing out my story
twodoves
♀ Member
Member # 39181
Default  Posted: 10:01 AM, May 15th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I keep going back and forth on typing it up, but i don't know where to begin.

The order i found out about the women in? Or the order they occurred?

The beginning of our relationship, or the beginning of the cheating?

I feel overwhelmed with information. There's just so much


Me - BS
Him - WS (N3v3rG1v1ngUp)
Together 7 years, married for 2
He was cheating for 5 years
5 OW
D-days: 4/23/13, 4/27/13, 5/10/13
1 toddler, baby girl on the way in December

Posts: 160 | Registered: May 2013 | From: Illinois
TheClimb
♀ Member
Member # 25895
Default  Posted: 10:06 AM, May 15th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I thought mine started when I found out about the affair. But looking back, I realized it began the day the OW's husband died.

Where you begin is not important, just writing it down will help.


"That which can be destroyed by the truth should be" P.C. Hodgell

Posts: 455 | Registered: Oct 2009 | From: Southern Maryland
Jrazz
♀ Guide
Member # 31349
Default  Posted: 11:50 AM, May 15th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

There are no rules, twodoves. You just get to put out what's on your heart.

It kinda feels like a tornado in our brains in the beginning - you are under NO obligation to be coherent at this point.

(((twodoves)))


You will have bad times, but they will always wake you up to the stuff you weren't paying attention to. - Robin Williams

Posts: 16781 | Registered: Feb 2011 | From: California
LonelyHusband
♂ Member
Member # 34145
Default  Posted: 1:12 PM, May 15th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

There's no right on wrong. Tell your story in your own words, in your own order, in your own time. Don't think about it, just write. We're here to help you, not judge your writing skills :)

If it comes out as complete incomprehensible gibberish then welcome to SI, you may be in a sad place but you are in good company :)

[This message edited by LonelyHusband at 1:14 PM, May 15th (Wednesday)]


BS ( me) 41
fWS (OktoberMest) 35
D day #1 29/10/2011, D day #2 15/112011, D day #3 15/03/2012
Reconciling.
“It’s better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all”, is inadequate consolation when you vacuum up a child's hamster'

Posts: 1290 | Registered: Dec 2011 | From: UK
hathnofury
♀ Member
Member # 32550
Default  Posted: 1:16 PM, May 15th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

It doesn't really matter, ust writing any of it down helps. I find writing things as they occur paints the most accurate picture, but of course you have to fill in the blanks with past events too. I look back at stuff I wrote a year or more ago and am amazed. There are details I forgot, things that seem so much clearer now that have have more info than they did back then. You write it however you want, it's all for your reference and healing!


BS 43, SAWH 38. M 15years, together 17. Body count in the triple digits. Both in recovery, trying to R.
Three kids under age 11.

Posts: 1464 | Registered: Jun 2011
Skan
♀ Member
Member # 35812
Default  Posted: 3:55 PM, May 15th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Hey, if you can string two words together at this point, you're doing good. Put down what you know when you knew it. I cannot tell you how many times I came on here in a screaming panic and then found out what I thought was true wasn't because I had mis-heard or mis-understood something. For example, I thought that my FWH screwed his AP the night before our 20th wedding anniversary, a night in which I was jumped all over by one of his sports buddies. Turned out to be false. Still screwed her, but not the night before such an important date.

Just put pen to paper as it were and type. Sometimes just getting the words out and the feeling out is more important than a minute by minute re-hash. (((hugs)))


Imagine a ship trying to set sail while towing an anchor. Cutting free is not a gift to the anchor. You must release that burden, not because the anchor is worthy, but because the ship is.

D-Day, June 10, 2012



Posts: 4672 | Registered: Jun 2012 | From: So California
Skan
♀ Member
Member # 35812
Default  Posted: 3:55 PM, May 15th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Hey, if you can string two words together at this point, you're doing good. Put down what you know when you knew it. I cannot tell you how many times I came on here in a screaming panic and then found out what I thought was true wasn't because I had mis-heard or mis-understood something. For example, I thought that my FWH screwed his AP the night before our 20th wedding anniversary, a night in which I was jumped all over by one of his sports buddies. Turned out to be false. Still screwed her, but not the night before such an important date.

Just put pen to paper as it were and type. Sometimes just getting the words out and the feeling out is more important than a minute by minute re-hash. (((hugs)))


Imagine a ship trying to set sail while towing an anchor. Cutting free is not a gift to the anchor. You must release that burden, not because the anchor is worthy, but because the ship is.

D-Day, June 10, 2012



Posts: 4672 | Registered: Jun 2012 | From: So California
NoMorDeceit
♀ Member
Member # 23547
Default  Posted: 4:11 PM, May 15th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((twodoves)))

I had 3 D-Days right in a row within a week and 5+ OW too, one was a 5 + year LTA....begin where ever works best for you. Whatever you feel you need to share to help make sense of the train that just barreled through your life. I am sorry you find yourself here.

[This message edited by NoMorDeceit at 4:11 PM, May 15th (Wednesday)]


FBS, been through the D marathon too.
Many D Days in April 2009
Multiple affairs, LTAs, and many OWs
Reconciled... There is hope! :)


Posts: 481 | Registered: Apr 2009
Topic Posts: 8

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