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Reconciliation Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: Today should be a trigger day, but I am calm and positive
Pudding
♀ Member
Member # 37168
Default  Posted: 12:58 PM, May 15th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Today is the first time that my FWH has had to travel away for business with OW since D-Day 2 and subsequent R. I have been getting in a state about this in anticipation. They are away (with others) for 2 days this week and then back for 2 days and then away for 3 days again next week. In the midst of all this, my aunt has just come home from hospital early and I will now be staying away with her in the intervening days, as her only available carer before other family can take over.

This should be major trigger territory, but I'm doing fine. After a really stressful time at the weekend with me ranting and raving, FWH calmed me down. He has explained to me what he will be doing to keep me safe whilst he is away. They have travelled on different flights. They have to stay in the same hotel as the venue is booked by the client. There is a big buffet dinner tonight which they both have to attend as it is client facing. He will not talk to her about anything except for work related matters, but even then will attempt to go through others. When conversation with anyone turns to non work matters, he will talk about me, how happy we are, what we do together etc. he has been ringing and messaging me all day. He won't drink tonight and he will go to bed alone early before everyone else. And will call and text me through the night. Tomorrow at the meeting, he will have no non work chat with her and they will travel back separately. (last year the taxi collected them and she was sitting in the cab in our driveway!!)

I don't like that he is away with her but I know he won't do anything with her or anyone else. I think she will find the whole situation very awkward ( good). I have asked him to think of me all the time and when he sees her to remember what pain and hurt the two of them have caused both of us.

I feel calm and trusting. I hope I can keep this up for the next week.


Posts: 266 | Registered: Oct 2012 | From: UK
Undone1
♀ Member
Member # 37683
Default  Posted: 1:15 PM, May 15th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Pudding...WOW...you are doing so well! You are very inspirational to me!

My H is also away on business, but the OW moved to Hawaii! It does not mean that he couldn't meet up with someone in a bar or wherever, but he could do that in our city or on business. I have been a little up and down about it. We are 6 months out and I do believe that he is remorseful and wants a life with me. He has done nothing so far to cause me to not trust him. But, when I look back at all the traveling, I can freak out fairly easily. Fortunately, I made a plan to keep very busy while he is gone. He has texted, emailed, called and made sure to provide ample reassurance. He agreed not to drink, which is good. We face time and he said that I could call at any time to face time.

It is certainly a process on this business travel trigger. Thanks for sharing your success!


Undone1
Married 10+ years to my high school sweetheart
DDAY 10/27/12
Me 55
WH 55
Blended Family: 25, 21, and 20
Married 10 years
"The Universe Unfolds as it Should"

Posts: 301 | Registered: Dec 2012 | From: Missouri
ItStillHurts
♀ Member
Member # 33617
Default  Posted: 9:11 PM, May 15th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Nice work Pudding. Stay strong, love the contact you are committed to sharing while he is gone. Hope your auntie keeps you busy and positive.


The cruelest lies are often told in silence (RLS).
DD: December 24, 2010, when she called me from a pay phone pretending to be someone else.
Me: BS (53)Him: WS (56) OW: 63 yr old Husband hunting predatory whore

Posts: 361 | Registered: Oct 2011
Topic Posts: 3

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