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Divorce/Separation Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: When will I learn?
Pass
♂ Member
Member # 38122
Default  Posted: 9:41 PM, May 15th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Dammit! Contact for kids and finances ONLY!

She managed to slip in the fact that she just went to get a prescription for birth control pills, since she can't be assured that her next man will have had a vasectomy.

I broke down and started sobbing into the phone. She is so much better at pushing buttons than I am.

Some day I will learn to keep the conversation on topic.


Loyal spouse: Me; Disloyal spouse: The Princess
Two sons: Now 11 and 14
DDay: Nov 15, 2012
Separated: Mar 2, 2013 after married 17 years, now divorcing!

The best thing about hitting rock bottom is that everything after that looks fucking fabulous


Posts: 1695 | Registered: Jan 2013 | From: Ottawa, Ontario, Canada
SeanFLA
♂ Member
Member # 32380
Default  Posted: 9:49 PM, May 15th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Why would you even converse with a person like that who clearly is trying to rub it in somehow? Don't speak to her on the phone. Email only and keep it business like.


BS(me) 48
WW 46
1 son 14 yrs old
Married 18 yrs, together 21 yrs

"You never know how strong you are until being strong is the only choice you have." ~ Bob Marley


Posts: 1456 | Registered: Jun 2011 | From: Zombie Land
PurpleRose
♀ Member
Member # 33129
Default  Posted: 9:53 PM, May 15th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

what an evil bitch.

For real, pass. She is just evil and vindictive. There is NO FUCKING REASON to tell you that, other than to inflict pain.

Fuck that Bitch and the asshole she rode in on.


divorced the Dooosh
*****************************
even if you find your voice,
sometimes it does not matter anymore,
when you speak to a man who is deaf by choice.
~dodinsky

Posts: 3523 | Registered: Aug 2011 | From: Happyville
SeanFLA
♂ Member
Member # 32380
Default  Posted: 10:01 PM, May 15th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Yep that or tell everyone she knows what a slut she's turned into.


BS(me) 48
WW 46
1 son 14 yrs old
Married 18 yrs, together 21 yrs

"You never know how strong you are until being strong is the only choice you have." ~ Bob Marley


Posts: 1456 | Registered: Jun 2011 | From: Zombie Land
nowiknow23
♀ Guide
Member # 33226
Default  Posted: 10:01 PM, May 15th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

What the hell, pass? I've heard some stone cold crap in my time here, but this? Damn. That's just deliberately cruel.

(((((((pass)))))))


You can call me NIK

Wise men talk because they have something to say; fools, because they have to say something.
- Plato


Posts: 24436 | Registered: Aug 2011
Nature_Girl
♀ Member
Member # 32554
Default  Posted: 10:02 PM, May 15th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

What a bitch!


Me = BS (Stay-at-home-mom)
Him = EX-d out (abusive troglodyte NPD SA)
3 tween-aged kids
Together 20 years
D-Day: Memorial Weekend 2011
2013 - I DIVORCED HIM, I'M FREE!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RBOJpIwF47Y

Posts: 9307 | Registered: Jun 2011 | From: USA
5454real
♂ Member
Member # 37455
Default  Posted: 10:59 PM, May 15th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Sorry brother. Again that feared word rears it's ugly head. Time will give you a much better perspective of what a stone cold bitch she really is.

Strength and Mojo to move through it.


BH 51, WW 42
DS 23(Mine),SD 21,SS 20(Hers),DS 9 Ours, DGS 3, DGD 1 mo
D=Day #1 5/04EA (Rugswept)
D-Day #2 3/10/12, TT til 3/13/12
Married 10yrs
I have no love for a friend who loves in words alone.
― Sophocles, Antigone

Posts: 2560 | Registered: Nov 2012 | From: midwest
Jrazz
♀ Guide
Member # 31349
Default  Posted: 11:02 PM, May 15th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((pass)))


We are what we repeatedly do, excellence, then is not an act but a habit. - Aristotle

Posts: 16433 | Registered: Feb 2011 | From: California
ButterflyGirl
♀ Member
Member # 38377
Default  Posted: 11:58 PM, May 15th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

A couple months after separation STBX mentioned in passing how HE needed to get a vasectomy. Cruel and vindictive NPD pieces of shit... More reasons to move on if you ask me!!

((((pass))))

Email only!!!!!!!!!!

[This message edited by ButterflyGirl at 12:00 AM, May 16th (Thursday)]


xBW~ 35
Two of the most darling sons ~ 10 and 7

Posts: 2005 | Registered: Feb 2013 | From: Florida, USA
Kajem
♀ Member
Member # 36134
Default  Posted: 12:09 AM, May 16th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

((((Pass))))

I had to communicate thru email only...it helped my healing not hearing him.

Hugs,

K


I trust you is a better compliment than I love you, because you may not trust the person you love, but you can always love the person you trust. - Unknown
Relationships are like sharing a book, it doesn't work if you're not on the same page.

Posts: 4855 | Registered: Jul 2012 | From: Florida
veritas
♀ Member
Member # 3525
Default  Posted: 12:33 AM, May 16th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

My ex asked me to bring him to the vasectomy he refused to get while we were married, then yonked to me about how he knew who his real friends were because he was all alone. I recently got a text from him saying I was the best thing that happened to him ever. Duh... yeah. He's still the worst thing that ever happened to me, just like this psychobitch is to you.


Actions unmask what words disguise.
Love many; trust few; and always paddle your own canoe.
When you win, you teach; when you lose, you learn.

Posts: 10168 | Registered: Feb 2004
Chrysalis123
♀ Member
Member # 27148
Default  Posted: 8:22 AM, May 16th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Pass (((Hugs))

When someone shows you who they are believe them....

Next time, she tries to contact you remember what she said about BC pills. Like everyone else said, she is cruel and vindictive and a danger to your emotional well-being and healing.

I do not answer the phone or physically meet and talk with the X nor anyone associated with him, that I feel he is using as a proxy to manipulate/abuse me. Email only.
Creates a great paper trail.

I know it doesn't feel like it now, but in time I hope you will see you get to get away from this and you get to create a life surrounded by people that care about you and value you for the wonderful man that you are.

[This message edited by Chrysalis123 at 8:23 AM, May 16th (Thursday)]


Dont get to the end of your life and find that you lived only the length of it; live the width of it as well.

Posts: 2608 | Registered: Jan 2010
Linus1968
♂ Member
Member # 31243
Default  Posted: 8:42 AM, May 16th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Seriously, what word could describe what she did? Like others have said, just another way to show how cold and stupid a WS can be.

That is why my communication is text only. You should, too.

On the flip side, I hope the fluffy rainbow unicorns protect her from STDs during unprotected sex.

You're an interesting species, an interesting mix. You're capable of such beautiful dreams and such horrible nightmares. You feel so lost, so cut off, so alone, only you're not. See, in all our searching, the only thing we've found that makes the emptiness bearable is each other. - Contact

[This message edited by Linus1968 at 8:43 AM, May 16th (Thursday)]


Me: Me
Her: Multiple men, multiple times, OC with the latest one
S: 15, D:14
May 27, 2014 DIVORCED!!!
In the words of Dory "Whew, I'm glad I got that off my chest."

Posts: 236 | Registered: Feb 2011 | From: Hell, and my X is the mayor (FL)
Pass
♂ Member
Member # 38122
Default  Posted: 9:43 AM, May 16th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thanks everyone. I'm feeling much better today.

This isn't the first time that I've had so many people tell me what a bitch she has been. It started with the waitress who discovered me crying in a restaurant on D-Day.

In light of all I know now, I've been going back and mentally rewriting the history of my marriage. I may not have EVER been married to who I thought I was.

Sometimes that makes me sad; other times I'm relieved that I opened my parachute when I did, and am hopeful about my future.

Like Linus said, I hope the STD gods smite her down.


Loyal spouse: Me; Disloyal spouse: The Princess
Two sons: Now 11 and 14
DDay: Nov 15, 2012
Separated: Mar 2, 2013 after married 17 years, now divorcing!

The best thing about hitting rock bottom is that everything after that looks fucking fabulous


Posts: 1695 | Registered: Jan 2013 | From: Ottawa, Ontario, Canada
Faithful w/Love
♀ Member
Member # 33128
Default  Posted: 10:05 AM, May 16th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm sorry (((pass)))
I know the hurt trust me I do.


BS(ME)40 WH(HIM)38
DD 19 and DS 15
Separated Aug 2012
Moved back home Oct 31 2013
False R. Still Lying.
Will be divorcing soon!
"You never know how strong you are until being strong is the only choice you have"!

Posts: 2660 | Registered: Aug 2011
ButterflyGirl
♀ Member
Member # 38377
Default  Posted: 10:19 AM, May 16th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

On the flip side, I hope the fluffy rainbow unicorns protect her from STDs during unprotected sex.

Some of those waywards are just as stupid as they are cruel and mean..

In light of all I know now, I've been going back and mentally rewriting the history of my marriage. I may not have EVER been married to who I thought I was.

I do this too. It's heartbreaking and sucks, but time to move on and start focusing on the future. As someone's tagline reads, "Don't look back. It's not where you are going."

Hugs!!


xBW~ 35
Two of the most darling sons ~ 10 and 7

Posts: 2005 | Registered: Feb 2013 | From: Florida, USA
RyeBread
♂ Member
Member # 37437
Default  Posted: 10:26 AM, May 16th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

In light of all I know now, I've been going back and mentally rewriting the history of my marriage. I may not have EVER been married to who I thought I was.

Realized the same thing as well. It was then that I committed to get the heck out.

Sorry you had to hear that from her. Stay strong, pick yourself up and press on.


Let him that would move the world first move himself. - Socrates

Posts: 1024 | Registered: Nov 2012 | From: Midwest
laney57
♀ Member
Member # 35617
Default  Posted: 10:45 AM, May 16th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm just sorry. Find YOUR way, she is an enemy, as is my WH. The only thing I am thankful for is my 2 great kids!


Me - BS, 43
Him - WH, 45
Married - 22 years
D-Day - 05/12/2012
Trying to find me.
Gotta do this, but I'm broken - headed for divorce - 02/20
Hell if I know - 02/24
INS 07/2013 Divorcing

Posts: 226 | Registered: May 2012 | From: KY
hurtbs
♀ Member
Member # 10866
Default  Posted: 11:18 AM, May 16th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm so sorry Pass. How cruel.

My ex used to leave condom receipts on the dining room table when he knew I would be at the house.

I promise you, those little "tricks" will ultimately help you to build up a hard shell when it comes to being around her. Be forewarned that when you stop reacting, she will try new things and it will escalate. This is why NC is so important.


Me BW Him XSAWH
DDays - 1 was too many
Divorced 2012

"In life, unlike chess, the game continues after checkmate." - Asimov
"Be patient and tough; someday this pain will be useful to you." - Ovid


Posts: 15249 | Registered: Jun 2006
suckstobeme
♀ Member
Member # 30853
Default  Posted: 1:16 PM, May 16th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

She is a heartless slob. Honestly. I long for the day when you reach the land of indifference and these bitchy, cruel things she says just roll off your back. Until then, fake it til you make it. Don't ever give her one more opportunity to gloat in the face of your pain. She thinks she's special because you cry over her. That will end real fast when you start ignoring her. Show her just how special she really is - she deserves nothing from you ever again.


BW - me
ExWH - "that one"
D - 2011
You get what you put in, and people get what they deserve.
Hard as it may be, try to never give the OP any of your power or head space.

Posts: 2706 | Registered: Jan 2011
Topic Posts: 21
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