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I Can Relate     Print Topic    
User Topic: Betrayed Men - Part 10
Betrayed444
♂ Member
Member # 38389
Default  Posted: 3:39 PM, May 22nd (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Lets face it. If an OM is single he would love a married slut to chase him down and fuck upon request. No strings attached. Bang her and send her on her way knowing he isn't responsible for shit. Meanwhile he's probably getting some of the best sex of his life because he knows shell put on an Oscar winning performance to keep him interested. Whatever he wants, any position he wants,whenever he wants. Golden blow jobs. Extra loud moaning, hard grinding etc.
shit my WW wife didn't know her POSOM had a few others on the side. He was living the dream. He didn't want her to leave. When I confronted him he was out of there so fast it would make your head spin.
On to the next bored house wife.
Married women are low hanging fruit just ripe for the picking.
Cast your line, throw out a wide net, make a few compliments here and there. Ask how their day was, listen to their garbage, acted interested and sympathetic. Before you know it you'll get a few bites from some lowly damaged woman with no boundaries who is so addicted to this attention and validation that she's willing to drop her panties to keep it going.

Posts: 494 | Registered: Feb 2013
Sal1995
♂ Member
Member # 39099
Default  Posted: 3:55 PM, May 22nd (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Betrayed, your latest post sounds like my WW's and her ex-AP's bio.


Me-45
WW-42
DDay 2/17/13, 10 month PA/EA
Final NC late Feb. '13
M - 18 years, together 19+
4 children

Reconciled


Posts: 1029 | Registered: Apr 2013 | From: Texas
DefiledRage
♂ Member
Member # 39292
Default  Posted: 4:05 PM, May 22nd (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

make a few compliments here and there....so addicted to this attention and validation that she's willing to drop her panties to keep it going

Yep, she said she went down on him because she felt obligated to do that because he was always complimenting her.
What about the obligation to your husband and children. I guess caring for your 6 month old baby just wasn't a big enough obligation.


Me:35 WW:34 M:13yrs
3 young children
Dday 1 EA 7/8/2010
Dday 2 PA 3/1/2013 same OMM for 4yrs

Mister rabbit says, "A moment of realization is worth a thousand prayers."


Posts: 426 | Registered: May 2013 | From: Two blocks from south shit and west hell
wincing_at_light
♂ Member
Member # 14393
Default  Posted: 4:19 PM, May 22nd (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

If there is then it's Bethesda and not Obsidian, which means I'm not interested. Not much of an ES fan whether it has swords or guns.

Khaaaaaaaaaaaaaaan!


Machiavellian idiot savant

Posts: 6687 | Registered: Apr 2007 | From: Indiana
StillGoing
♂ Member
Member # 28571
Default  Posted: 4:22 PM, May 22nd (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I DONT EVEN OWN SKYRIM YO


“Fate is a fickle bitch who dotes on irony.”

Posts: 7112 | Registered: May 2010 | From: USA
Tred
♂ Member
Member # 34086
Default  Posted: 4:23 PM, May 22nd (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Betrayed,

The OM doesn't have to be single - my wife's AP was a swinger, but fucking a couple of other couples with his wife wasn't enough for him, so he went on Ashley Madison to get more tail. He was banging multiple women besides my wife (of course, my wife thought she was the only one, that she was special, that he cared about her...). Other than that, the description is perfect. He's probably onto the next bored set of housewives and still swinging with his wife.


Married: 16 years (14 @JFO)
D-Day: 11/09/11
"Ohhhhh...shut up Tred!" - NOT the official SI motto (DS)

Posts: 3303 | Registered: Dec 2011
Sal1995
♂ Member
Member # 39099
Default  Posted: 5:05 PM, May 22nd (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Yep, she said she went down on him because she felt obligated to do that because he was always complimenting her.

Mine felt obligated to return the favor. Cue the mind movies.

What about the obligation to your husband and children.

Who? Oh themmmm...

According to my lovely bride: "I wasn't thinking about you and the kids."

No shit. Why the hell not?

[This message edited by Sal1995 at 5:09 PM, May 22nd (Wednesday)]


Me-45
WW-42
DDay 2/17/13, 10 month PA/EA
Final NC late Feb. '13
M - 18 years, together 19+
4 children

Reconciled


Posts: 1029 | Registered: Apr 2013 | From: Texas
DefiledRage
♂ Member
Member # 39292
Default  Posted: 6:51 PM, May 22nd (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Face:
Just found time to go look up Em's "25 to Life" lyrics, your right, perfect!


Me:35 WW:34 M:13yrs
3 young children
Dday 1 EA 7/8/2010
Dday 2 PA 3/1/2013 same OMM for 4yrs

Mister rabbit says, "A moment of realization is worth a thousand prayers."


Posts: 426 | Registered: May 2013 | From: Two blocks from south shit and west hell
Betrayed444
♂ Member
Member # 38389
Default  Posted: 8:56 PM, May 22nd (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Yep, she said she went down on him because she felt obligated to do that because he was always complimenting her.
What about the obligation to your husband and children. I guess caring for your 6 month old baby just wasn't a big enough obligation.

Oh the kids?
Husband?
Who are they
Because "I love you mommy"
Isn't as special. Doesn't mean a thing. When the kids are at school drawing pictures of their family not realizing mom is deep sixing the whole thing.
And daddy? Shit. He's too busy working his ass off, doing the whole overtime thing to pay the mortgage, bills, and extra expenses like manicures, pedicures, and hair appointments so his slut can bang other men and sabotage everything he's busted his ass for while some douche bag gets all her glorious attention.

Posts: 494 | Registered: Feb 2013
Ascendant
♂ Member
Member # 38303
Default  Posted: 10:41 PM, May 22nd (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I DONT EVEN OWN SKYRIM YO

...and whose fault is that. You need to amend that. Yo. I played this morning. 'Twas glorious.


“Anyone who has a continuous smile on his face conceals a toughness that is almost frightening.”

Posts: 1604 | Registered: Jan 2013 | From: Illinois
Razor
♂ Member
Member # 16345
Default  Posted: 9:02 AM, May 23rd (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Hmmm, I wonder what might happen if [fp] finds out?" She said she didn't.

I have to call bull shit on this. Because if a WS is keeping the LTA a secret, then they ARE thinking of it.


Forgive and forget = Relive and regret.


Posts: 3086 | Registered: Sep 2007
Betrayed444
♂ Member
Member # 38389
Default  Posted: 9:58 AM, May 23rd (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I have to call bull shit on this. Because if a WS is keeping the LTA a secret, then they ARE thinking of it.

100% correct razor
Of course their thinking about it.
The lies,deceptions,cover ups.
Your now daddy. Supporting her ass while she sneaks out and fucks everyone she can.
Meanwhile when you want some she plays games. Tomorrow, I don't feel well, it's late and I have to get up early, how long will you be?
Heard them all. She was Terrible in bed. All the phony intimacy. Fake smiles. All bullshit. They knew.
We became mules. Paying the bills while she fucked anything that would say hello. They had no intention of leaving.
I'm betting they knew one day she would be caught. They gamble that well be a pussy and forgive. That we don't have the balls to leave. That they are so good they could talk their way out of it. They said fuck it. Ill take that dick and if BS wants to leave me ill take everything he has. Ill blame him for everything and leave him with nothing. Ill tell everyone what an asshole he's been to me.
Actually mine was laying down that groundwork already. Saying vicious things about me behind my back. I had no idea. That hurt. She was preparing for it and was 3 steps ahead.
I think in a way the fog is bullshit.
Except in rare occasions, WS's will never confess, will never reveal any of the truth except when you present evidence and then they will confess to that. Information is rarely voluntary. You don't have a WW in a fog. She is a prisoner of war. Name, rank, and social security number. You caught them. They will only present enough info to keep you o. The hook. They will observe what satisfies you. Give you scraps here and there. Throw out some bullshit, smoke screens. I think in most cases R is them playing us. Reverse psychology. Remember they gas lighted us for god knows how long. They are advanced players. They have no remorse or empathy. They evolve. They don't give a fuck a out us or our family. They thrive on the drama. They 180 us all the time. I think the term fog is a convenient label we put on them.

Posts: 494 | Registered: Feb 2013
wifehad5
♂ Moderator
Member # 15162
Default  Posted: 10:14 AM, May 23rd (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Except in rare occasions, WS's will never confess,

I don't know that I'd go this far. I've seen lots of WS who do confess and who do provide details without evidence being found first. I don't know the actual percentage, but it's not exactly uncommon.


FBH - 42
FWW - 43 (BrokenRoad)
2 kids 7&12

The people you do your life with shape the life you live


Posts: 35358 | Registered: Jun 2007 | From: Michigan
stilllovingher
♂ Member
Member # 29959
Default  Posted: 10:21 AM, May 23rd (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I have to call bull shit on this. Because if a WS is keeping the LTA a secret, then they ARE thinking of it.

that's what I told slhim, way back.
sans the LTA part.


The only difference between a butt kisser and a brown noser is depth perception.
I'm sure WAL would agree.

Posts: 2385 | Registered: Oct 2010 | From: still BFE, but now BFE, CA
RyeBread
♂ Member
Member # 37437
Default  Posted: 10:35 AM, May 23rd (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Well said Betrayed44

I think the term fog is a convenient label we put on them.

I think a more appropriate phrase might be "they are still in the game." Problem is they create the rules and they change the rules at their convenience. And it's our choice to continue to play with them.

I'll forfeit that one and go on my merry way thank-you very much.


Let him that would move the world first move himself. - Socrates

Posts: 957 | Registered: Nov 2012 | From: Midwest
noescape
♂ Member
Member # 34888
Default  Posted: 10:36 AM, May 23rd (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

wow B444

could've written these bits myself:


Heard them all. She was Terrible in bed. All the phony intimacy. Fake smiles. All bullshit. They knew.

OMG, couldve written all of that; specially phony intimacy and fake smiles; like always, so much so that it became an open secret/sick joke between me and WW, she just scoffed at it - all the while doing it anyway.

I think in a way the fog is bullshit.

and such a convenient excuse post dday to find a way to excuse themselves and absolve their shitty behaviour (which just takes on another conniving guise); "honest m'lord, I had no control over what I was doing"


Except in rare occasions, WS's will never confess, will never reveal any of the truth except when you present evidence and then they will confess to that. Information is rarely voluntary. You don't have a WW in a fog. She is a prisoner of war. Name, rank, and social security number. You caught them. They will only present enough info to keep you o. The hook. They will observe what satisfies you. Give you scraps here and there. Throw out some bullshit, smoke screens. I think in most cases R is them playing us. Reverse psychology. Remember they gas lighted us for god knows how long. They are advanced players. They have no remorse or empathy. They evolve. They don't give a fuck a out us or our family. They thrive on the drama. They 180 us all the time. I think the term fog is a convenient label we put on them.

yup, had to be caught to even admit something, sometimes gaslit me to my face while evidence stared us both in the face-total crazymaking. her only regret? that i found out as much as i did and she admitted as much too!!!

information : NEVER voluntary - cardinal rule to never be broken.
smoke screen and scraps - yes. till in the crazymaking you dont know whats true and whats not anymore.

R is a PLAY - its just the hook to extend their cake eating lives/dry adultery. IMHO, every infidelity site pandering to meeting 'needs' just plays on this parasitical nature of WS's ; rather than focusing on fixing broken coping skills.

They 180 us all the time - shit, we're married to the same WS.


Posts: 739 | Registered: Feb 2012
Betrayed444
♂ Member
Member # 38389
Default  Posted: 11:12 AM, May 23rd (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I think a more appropriate phrase might be "they are still in the game." Problem is they create the rules and they change the rules at their convenience. And it's our choice to continue to play with them.

It is a game. Someone here even said its a win-win for WS. The opening salvo format excuse is " you never ask about my day, you never pay attention to me"
Followed by you work too much
Then they will provide examples
To wit:
You didn't notice I got my hair done 2 years ago on July 6th
Or
You didn't go to a party I wanted To go to last year
Of course we paid for the hair or were working OT during that party to pay for her Louie Vuitton we bought them just because.
Then If that doesn't work it goes deeper. We somehow emotionally abused them or perhaps WE were cheating. Heard that. Stunned by the accusations.
It's a win- win because they had drama and attention while cheating
They had it post DDay. Plenty of attention! We won't leave them alone. We portray feelings of pain. Some cry. We want every detail of their lives. Their thoughts. How can WE change?!?!
Fog my ass
They love it. Thrive on it. Throw us scraps to open the wound,TT, to revisit it. Ride the affair for all its worth. It's their vicious revenge for all our "wrongs".
All they have to do is get dick and suddenly your pawing all over them. Any drama is good drama.
I EVEN READ WHERE SOME SAY THE AFFAIR MADE US BETTER!!
I think WS's are rewarded and they learn that. You will keep them, forgive, and they will stray again when the attention meter dies down.
It's selfish and all about them.
It seems only when you present divorce they say
"RUH ROH!!"
I think it's like this to a degree
Over time we become domesticated. Our love and commitment translates to them that to some extent we've become pussies. Throughout history it's always been survival of the fittest.
Someone else comes along in the jungle , grunts at her, and she drops her loin cloth.
She gets caught. We beg, plead, talk, cry.
Is that how a man is supposed to act? We fuck up. Shit were not experts.
We come here. Meet our brothers and learn from each other. Compare notes and develop a plan of action. We may lose a few battles but were at war.
Like the movie the 300. The first attack. When the wave of Persians crash into their shields and the Spartans are pushed backward.
Then it stops
The Spartans push forward
Take everything but give nothing
Our first response should have been exile. Kick them into the pit.
WH5
Your awesome but I think your case is rare. I'm really glad your doing what you did. I wish I had your skills at this. I'm definitely lacking and I'm sure there are exceptions and true remorse. Positive of it and you feel it in your gut. Too many of our guts though see no remorse. Just bullshit from narcissist WW's.

Reminds me of this awesome new release by Slash. Great tune about liars.
http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=1SZrJLMTO-8

[This message edited by Betrayed444 at 11:48 AM, May 23rd (Thursday)]


Posts: 494 | Registered: Feb 2013
RyeBread
♂ Member
Member # 37437
Default  Posted: 11:47 AM, May 23rd (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I've seen lots of WS who do confess and who do provide details without evidence being found first. I don't know the actual percentage, but it's not exactly uncommon.

I applaud those WW's who do this with integrity and an honest attempt at making things right....


However,
My STBXWW "confessed" but was quickly followed up by blaming me and wanting sympathy for how her OM treated and betrayed her. As if she expected me to listen and support her after the "favor" she did me by confessing. Now she is facing some consequences for her actions and she has came right out and said, "had I known that you wouldn't forgive me and would D me I wouldn't have said anything."

Basically, I would be very skeptical of any WS's attempts to confess on their own. And if they do there is more to the story they won't share until they have to, otherwise it goes to the grave with them.

MY experience has been a self serving B who has zero regard for anyone other than herself. I don't wish that on anyone.

Again, just my experience.


Let him that would move the world first move himself. - Socrates

Posts: 957 | Registered: Nov 2012 | From: Midwest
Betrayed444
♂ Member
Member # 38389
Default  Posted: 11:50 AM, May 23rd (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I learned that a confession usually comes when their affair is about to be exposed or perceived to be exposed in some way the. It is damage control.

http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=1SZrJLMTO-8

[This message edited by Betrayed444 at 11:51 AM, May 23rd (Thursday)]


Posts: 494 | Registered: Feb 2013
StillGoing
♂ Member
Member # 28571
Default  Posted: 12:01 PM, May 23rd (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

It is a game. Someone here even said its a win-win for WS. The opening salvo format excuse is " you never ask about my day, you never pay attention to me"
Followed by you work too much
Then they will provide examples
To wit:
You didn't notice I got my hair done 2 years ago on July 6th
Or
You didn't go to a party I wanted To go to last year
Of course we paid for the hair or were working OT during that party to pay for her Louie Vuitton we bought them just because.
Then If that doesn't work it goes deeper. We somehow emotionally abused them or perhaps WE were cheating. Heard that. Stunned by the accusations.
It's a win- win because they had drama and attention while cheating
They had it post DDay. Plenty of attention! We won't leave them alone. We portray feelings of pain. Some cry. We want every detail of their lives. Their thoughts. How can WE change?!?!

Yep. That =


wrt fog - fog isn't an excuse or some kind of phase where a WS is unaware of his/her surroundings. It's a willful obstruction of reality to keep what they want safe from criticism, both external and internal.

Most of our wives are rational enough to understand the shit they are doing is cruel, selfish and in some cases just fucking batshit crazy. There is a mental compromise where they take these actions and adjust them so they look less cruel and selfish and in some cases batshit crazy looks just fine and sane, and there is no more investigation of those items allowed because all is now perfect.

Dragging that shit out into the light to talk about it and examine it breaks up that insulating safety shell and puts it up for examination by objective reality, and objective reality always comes back with: fucking someone you aren't married to, when you are married, is wrong. It's like beating your kids with a lead pipe. It really doesn't matter how mouthy or disrespectful they are, it's fucking wrong.

So they live in this haze where they refuse to let the sun come up over their secluded shrouded isles, and that way all the ugly little fucking kobolds and goblins look like lovely little pixies and sprites.

Some of those WS find the self respect and courage to face that stuff down and deal with the reality, but I think they're all of them in that little fantasy fog land during the A. Though there are some who are cold-blooded and cruel, yes, most are just normal people who aren't as clever as they think they are by half.

eta:

I was waiting for Skyrim to go on a 66% sale and all the dlc.

[This message edited by StillGoing at 12:03 PM, May 23rd (Thursday)]


“Fate is a fickle bitch who dotes on irony.”

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