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Just Found Out Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: We are divorcing...why do I want her to at least feel sorry?
♂ Member
Member # 38122
Default  Posted: 1:21 PM, May 17th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

SparklingWater said:
All I can say is good on us, for loving freely and totally, for not cheating on them and for having a fucking clear conscious. We were WAY better than they deserved. In the long run we will be better off without them. We just have to allow ourselves to heal, and hopefully soon will stop torturing ourselves with the "why" questions.

YES! Thank you for saying that. We can hold our heads high. If you were listening closely, you might have heard me giving you a standing ovation.

Loyal spouse: Me; Disloyal spouse: The Princess
Two sons: Now 11 and 14
DDay: Nov 15, 2012
Separated: Mar 2, 2013 after 17 year marriage, now divorcing!

The best thing about hitting rock bottom is that everything after that looks fucking fabulous

Posts: 2089 | Registered: Jan 2013
♀ Member
Member # 35812
Default  Posted: 1:48 PM, May 17th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

If this truly is it for you, and you are convenced that you want to divorce, I would highly recommend that you go down to the Seperation & Divorce forum. There are plenty of people down there to support you as well, and they are VERY savvy about the lengths a un-repentant WS will go to, to try to screw you over in a divorce or child custory. One thing. You don't leave the house you do not want to be seen as abandoning it. And your children stay with you in the family house. They are old enough to probably have a say in where and with who they want to live in court.

Hang in there. We have your back.

Imagine a ship trying to set sail while towing an anchor. Cutting free is not a gift to the anchor. You must release that burden, not because the anchor is worthy, but because the ship is.

D-Day, June 10, 2012

Posts: 4926 | Registered: Jun 2012 | From: So California
♂ New Member
Member # 39273
Default  Posted: 2:17 PM, May 17th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Tnanks for the replies, you are a mind reader, I have been in the divorce forum all day. Really nervous about this as the laws in my state do not take into account adultery in considering custody. However, my lawyer told me certain judges get really pissed off at cheaters.

Thanks for all the support, I was paying 100/session for therapy but I truly believe this forum has helped more than the IC.

Posts: 23 | Registered: May 2013 | From: USA
♀ Member
Member # 38020
Default  Posted: 9:31 PM, May 17th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

My ex didn't show any remorse. I think that was almost more painful than the cheating itself.

Faith Hill sings a song, "Cry," and I remember listening to that song over and over and over again after he and I broke up. It described so perfectly how I was feeling-
"Could you cry a little?
Die just a little?
Pretend the you're feeling a little more pain?
I gave and I'm wanting
Something in return."

Nothing in the world made me feel so insignificant. With my daughter's dad, at least he cared enough to beg. At least he cried. At least he missed me, and I got to see it. Same with my fiancÚ now. He gave me remorse. Even though I didn't feel cared about AT ALL during the cheating, I got to feel it when he was sorry.

I have been cheated on by 3 different men, and I have more DDays than anyone ever should. I am here, just trying to pickup the pieces.

At least the current man "only" cyber-cheated.

"Love means never having to say you're sorry."

Posts: 840 | Registered: Jan 2013
Topic Posts: 24
Pages: 1 · 2

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