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Newest Member: Depressed4ever (43230)

Divorce/Separation Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: What the hell
roughroadahead
♀ Member
Member # 36060
Default  Posted: 8:44 PM, May 16th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

So some of you may recall that WH and I were doing a legal separation. It turns out that WH has filed for D totally behind my back. Why, you ask? Because MOW has filed, of course!

FTG!!!!

On top of having to meet, again, with the VP at DS7's school, who may be recommending a placement change to a more intensive behavior placement.

If it's not one thing, it's another

[This message edited by roughroadahead at 8:50 PM, May 16th (Thursday)]


BS-Me 30s
WS-Him 30s
D-Day 4/2012 (Insisted EA only)
D-Day 5/2012 (Did I say EA? Ummm..)
Numerous other TT/broken NC d-days until S 1/2013. D settled 11/2013
MOW-coworker, 40s.
2 DS and DD all w/autism

Posts: 707 | Registered: Jul 2012 | From: USA
jo2love
♀ Moderator
Member # 31528
Default  Posted: 7:24 AM, May 17th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((rough)))




Posts: 30754 | Registered: Mar 2011
gonnabe2016
♀ Member
Member # 34823
Default  Posted: 9:12 AM, May 17th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

How very mature of him...


"Oh, what a tangled web we weave when first we practice to deceive." - Sir Walter Scott

In my effort to be *concise*, I often come off as blunt and harsh. Sorry, don't mean to be offensive.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OCyL6pa_L4M


Posts: 7254 | Registered: Feb 2012 | From: Midwest
roughroadahead
♀ Member
Member # 36060
Default  Posted: 10:40 AM, May 17th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I feel better now. It turns out WH is a moron. Or maybe his L is. He has filed based on a ground which requires us to agree. So if I deny in my answer, that ground is dead in the water.

I don't want to keep him by any means, but I certainly don't want to let him drift peacefully away.


BS-Me 30s
WS-Him 30s
D-Day 4/2012 (Insisted EA only)
D-Day 5/2012 (Did I say EA? Ummm..)
Numerous other TT/broken NC d-days until S 1/2013. D settled 11/2013
MOW-coworker, 40s.
2 DS and DD all w/autism

Posts: 707 | Registered: Jul 2012 | From: USA
osxgirl
♀ Member
Member # 8795
Default  Posted: 12:31 PM, May 17th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

roughroad -

I understand the bit about not wanting to let him just drift away peacefully. And you shouldn't necessarily.

But here's a thought. He probably wants the D to go through quickly. What's best for you is to get what you want in the settlement and for things not to drag on and cost more money.

So, use this as leverage. They tend to be more willing to give what you want and not fight about it at the beginning, especially if they are in a big hurry to be D'd and legitimize the relationship with the OP. Take advantage of that. Treat this like a business transaction - you want to get the most favorable terms for yourself, and minimize conflict.

I know the emotional side wants it to be painful for him. But trust me - it's much better to forego that and get a good settlement instead if you possibly can.

Believe me - he'll bring about his own pain just by being himself.


Posts: 2204 | Registered: Nov 2005 | From: Maryland
roughroadahead
♀ Member
Member # 36060
Default  Posted: 8:58 PM, May 17th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I am not concerned with the settlement. The only assets to speak of are the marital home, which will have to be appraised, and his 401(k). The division of the latter is controlled by statute. The whole thing is marital property, so no argument there. Most of the settlement has already been outlined in the sep agreement.


BS-Me 30s
WS-Him 30s
D-Day 4/2012 (Insisted EA only)
D-Day 5/2012 (Did I say EA? Ummm..)
Numerous other TT/broken NC d-days until S 1/2013. D settled 11/2013
MOW-coworker, 40s.
2 DS and DD all w/autism

Posts: 707 | Registered: Jul 2012 | From: USA
Topic Posts: 6

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