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Newest Member: bodyofsteel (44912)

Divorce/Separation Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: Poor XH...not
wannabenormal
♀ Member
Member # 19772
Default  Posted: 9:34 PM, May 16th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

So tonight I had to drive to DD's practice to drop off kid stuff to XH (since it's his kid night) because assclown 'forgot' to wait at school for me to meet there after work (mind you we had talked like 40 mins before...I got there 5 mins after him. He and kids are gone. I text, where are you? He's like I forgot. Um...ok?!This is its own vent because instead of meeting at school on our ways home, now I have to meet him later. Fine, whatever! Back to post bitching...)

So tonight I go in and the team mom mentions needing the play fees. Now XH's step-DD, H, is also on the team (why? not sure as she's into non-sport things but apparently the XH and wife decided 'the girls' should do this together, to bond I suppose). Back on track....so we agreed that we'd each pay half for our DD.

We're writing checks and XH tells the team mom he's paying all for step-DD and then half for our DD. I joked that if he could pay for all step-DD, he could do all for our DD too, ha ha.

He 'kids' back how, "Ha ha, I wish. *I* have to pay for all of H...you can do half for DD". It's all in jest, but it did kinda piss me off and hurt a little too (which is dumb, I know).

I am ONE parent of 2 kids who makes like nothing, nothing meaning that I know it's at least 1/5 of what he and wife made 5 yrs ago, so they have to be making more now.

Like it just jerked me off that I was supposed to jokingly 'feel bad' that he/they have to pay for all of step-DD. Are you fucking kidding me?!

Thanks for letting me spout since peeps IRL would probably think I'm a kook!



Posts: 14350 | Registered: Jun 2008
ButterflyGirl
♀ Member
Member # 38377
Default  Posted: 9:58 PM, May 16th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Geez, that's a bunch of BS for one day.. Why the hell do they do that crap?? That's just so messed up to jerk you around in the afternoon, then throw a pity party for himself later (like you're supposed to feel sorry for him ).

At least he paid his portion I guess. My dipshit ex STILL doesn't think he has to pay half of co-pays and extracurriculars.. He thinks it's all included in child support. I'm so tired of explaining the rules to him. Or having to pay my lawyer to do it. Siiiiiiigh...

Ugh, FTG..


xBW~ 35
Two of the most darling sons ~ 10 and 7

Posts: 2231 | Registered: Feb 2013 | From: Florida, USA
wannabenormal
♀ Member
Member # 19772
Default  Posted: 10:27 PM, May 16th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

You know, I realize I'm 'lucky' in that he pays CS, he doesn't skip visitation or totally forget he has kids from 'before wife' (which IS kinda surprising considering he apparently never really LIVED until he met her)...but doing what you're SUPPOSED to do isn't medal worthy either.

He's just annoying. LOL!



Posts: 14350 | Registered: Jun 2008
ButterflyGirl
♀ Member
Member # 38377
Default  Posted: 11:00 PM, May 16th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

but doing what you're SUPPOSED to do isn't medal worthy either.

I totally agree. My STBX really does want a damn cookie when he follows the rules. Annoying indeed!


xBW~ 35
Two of the most darling sons ~ 10 and 7

Posts: 2231 | Registered: Feb 2013 | From: Florida, USA
wannabenormal
♀ Member
Member # 19772
Default  Posted: 11:08 PM, May 16th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Oh yes; look at me! I showed up! I pay, I pick up the kids, I do fun shit with them, I am freakin' awesome!



Posts: 14350 | Registered: Jun 2008
wannabenormal
♀ Member
Member # 19772
Default  Posted: 2:56 AM, May 23rd (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I found out the stepDD isn't even playing the whole time. AND she wasn't dying to be on the team either.

This 'thing' is my DD's thing; she's good at it and loves it.

The stepDD, while a nice kid, does like 3 other activities...so why did they insist she horn in on my DD's ONE g.d. thing? I'm sure XH and wife thought it'd be super neato for the girls to bond and all, but please. Make them rake the yard together.



Posts: 14350 | Registered: Jun 2008
stronger08
♂ Member
Member # 16953
Default  Posted: 3:10 AM, May 23rd (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I pay my CS each month on time never missed a payment. While I dont really speak to my XWW we have this kind of unwritten agreement. Whomever is with the child at the time of a payment they make it. I buy my DS clothes, sneakers and whatever else he needs when I have him. I dont ask for half from my XWW. Some people tell me thats what my CS is for. And I guess in therory thats correct. But who suffers here ? The kid of course. And to my XWW credit (God I hate having to give her credit for anything)she does not ask me for half of things she could. Such as co-pays and activity costs. The way I see your XWH is either 2 ways. One is that he is a cheap SOB. Two is if his new W found out he paid for his DD total cost he would get hell. Either way it dont shed a good light on him.


You cant eat soup with chopsticks.

Posts: 5653 | Registered: Nov 2007
wannabenormal
♀ Member
Member # 19772
Default  Posted: 3:23 AM, May 23rd (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Stronger - he's cheap when it's not HIS shit and I also think wife wouldn't be thrilled to know I didn't contribute.

They suck!

What galls me more is that this is my DD's 'thing' and she was really mad she had to share it. The other kid doesn't have to share her things; my kids have to share EVERYTHING there. Like GRRR!

[This message edited by wannabenormal at 3:26 AM, May 23rd (Thursday)]



Posts: 14350 | Registered: Jun 2008
PurpleRose
♀ Member
Member # 33129
Default  Posted: 8:18 PM, May 23rd (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

what a loon.

The Dooosh tries the same bullshit with "paying half" of everything. He wanted me to pay half of some sporting equipment he bought... but then when I added up all the sports crap I bought, it evened out.

So, yeah, I hadn't asked him to pay half because I figured we'd each pay what we needed to at the time, and it would all even out. But now I know better - he taught me!! I have kept each and every receipt and plan to submit them so he can pay me my half.

:)


divorced the Dooosh
*****************************
even if you find your voice,
sometimes it does not matter anymore,
when you speak to a man who is deaf by choice.
~dodinsky

Posts: 3580 | Registered: Aug 2011 | From: Happyville
Kajem
♀ Member
Member # 36134
Default  Posted: 8:29 PM, May 23rd (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

My X pays CS.. and that's it.

He and NW make easily 5x my household income... including CS.

And he wants a frigging trophy for doing the minimum the state will allow. A cookie isn't good enough for him.

Wannabe I get it... if it weren't for the fact that I have all girls and NW has an older DD and a DS about my girls age... he would be enlisted to do the things my kids like to do. Thank God he's a boy.... is all I got to say.

Hugs,

K


I trust you is a better compliment than I love you, because you may not trust the person you love, but you can always love the person you trust. - Unknown
Relationships are like sharing a book, it doesn't work if you're not on the same page.

Posts: 5066 | Registered: Jul 2012 | From: Florida
Topic Posts: 10

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