I can hold my head up high and look at myself in the mirror with dignity.
So if he's doing everything right, that's half the battle.. the rest is- is he truly sincere and can he stay the course..? Time will tell if the changes are permanent. But yes, guard your heart always. I believe you can give it, but still guard it.
What crazy thing holds us on to a person who clearly doesn't care about us... yet we still hold on.
Now do we do this?
Can you regret getting M to the WS and still have hope of recovering the M?
I think so. I did and sometimes still do and our R is going well. I think it's part of the bargaining stage. If we'd never gotten married, this would never have happened. It's a form of trying to protect yourself and analyze what went wrong.
ETA about love as a feeling. Feelings are fleeting. They can change easily, especially after going through a trauma like infidelity. Disillusionment happens. IMO, the key is what you and your partner do about it, and how you communicate about it.
That's where the concept of Love is a Decision comes in. You make an active choice to love through loving actions vs relying on feelings. But there was a time I was too angry or depressed to even care about that. It's normal. That concept helped.
[This message edited by DixieDevastated at 10:00 AM, May 17th (Friday)]
Don't have any advice, but I can relate.
I think the most important thing is that like us, you two still love each other. Without that, people leave and love from a distance.
[This message edited by libertyrocks at 10:24 AM, May 18th (Saturday)]
D-Day: August 14, 2012
9 year LTA with former co-worker and family "friend"/7 years EA+PA, 2 more years EA
*Winners never cheat and cheaters never win*