Today, in the mail..... final judgement entered and we are legally divorced as of Tuesday the 14th.
I have no idea how I feel about this..... I was in shock when I opened it, since it came so fast, then I cried... then I wanted to call him... then I was angry again because WHY did he have to cause this? WHY did he have to be so cruel, so faithless, so utterly remorseless while he killed all my dreams of the future I thought we had together? ... Then I cried some more....
Then... I don't know, I just went sort of numb. This all happened SO fast, it's hard to get my head around it. DDay was April 10, I confronted him April 12. He moved out April 20th- one month ago, tomorrow-, and now we are divorced.
I am just reeling.... And I can't help thinking that when he gets HIS letter, he will be happy. Relieved. So glad to be officially done with the bitch ex-wife he's been emotionally done with for months now. He and OW will probably go out to celebrate his freedom. Maybe they'll start talking about marriage. It's all a bright shiny fresh start for him. New job, new house, new woman. And here I am, alone, thrown away like last week's garbage. Old news, in the old house, with all the shattered pieces of the old life. I just feel so completely UNWANTED. I've been feeling that way since it happened, but seeing it in black and white, from the state... ouch. Just ouch.
[This message edited by gypsybird87 at 9:24 PM, May 17th (Friday)]
Life shrinks or expands in proportion to one's courage. ~ Anais Nin
Be gentle with yourself as you process all of this. Take your time, practice your self care, and let yourself feel whatever surfaces.
We're here for you. ((((gypsybird))))
"If you carry joy in your heart, you can heal any moment."
- Carlos Santana
I've been in your shoes.. whirlwind is right!
Take care of you, hydration.. protein shakes if you can get them down...
It isn't easy... but we are here for you.
Meet your close friend, relatives, that'll take some pain away. It does get better. Strength.
I'm so sorry. That is a very short amount of time to go through and try to process all of this. Please be gentle with yourself. Sending you strength.
I can't even imagine, what a whirlwind!! I am so sorry!!! My dday was Nov 25, filed for divorce on 1/8/13, waiting for the date for the voluntary settlement conference, should be divorced by the end of the year, and I thought that was quick!!! Be gentle with yourself, grieve your marriage. One door closes so another one can open.