I guess I wonder what could be wrong in his head that he can lie even to himself? OR, is it just that he has convinced himself that HE left ME as some kind of defense mechanism??
I guess I wonder if this is a common thing with XWS's.
life must be rich and full of loving--it's no good otherwise, no good at all, for anyone - j. kerouac
Yes I did ask him to leave, because of his affair. He filed for divorce and he was the one married 2 weeks after.
First he was unhappy for a month.. then a couple of years.. then since our DD was born (she was 8yo at marriage implosion). He has rewritten history so often it is easier to assume that if his lips are moving - lies are spewing forth. Much easier.
I'm pretty sure MOW thinks he left me (ha ha), and of course I was the cheater and abusive and a big ole' meanie. Whatever
"Diamonds aren't a girl's best friend, freedom is."
Married: 11 years, no kids
The greater danger for most of us lies not in setting our aim too high and falling short; but in setting our aim too low, and achieving our mark. -Michelangelo
He does like to say how terribly unhappy he was. Because I wasnt constantly spewing rainbows. We had our spats like any couple. Usually about his "friend" Mrs. Robinson. All MY fault of course. Back in reality... we had fun together. We laughed a lot. If he was unhappy it was with himself.
Mrs. Robinson- 40, S but still M
"You are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think." - Christopher Robin
Just about every detail of our marriage, his affair and the aftermath changes depending on what point he is trying to make.
At this point I just try to remember that he is creating stories to explain to himself why he has no guilt or remorse that a normal human would have when behaving so terribly with someone they "love". He can't admit that something is wrong with him so rewriting history is one of his sad, immature coping mechanisms.
Bottom line for me, as long as immediate family knows the truth I don't give a rat's ass what he tells anyone else or what they believe. He can concoct as many outlandish fairy tales as he wants, and the more bizarre the more entertaining they are. My kids, my relatives, and I know the truth and these 'stories' only support how big of a pathological liar he really is...his kids know they can't believe a word out of his mouth, which is sad, but his own doing...
This above all: to thine own self be true, and it must follow, as the night the day, thou canst not then be false to any man, ~ Shakespeare
While in the 180, I drove 100 miles to ex BIL and met him and showed him all the evidence. He was convinced and asked me to forgive her and reclaim the M.
I said I was willing but ex is not ready to part with OM.
I told ex's elder sister via internet chatting that ex was having an A with her boss. OM's name was xxx and they both plan to marry on 03/19/2013. I had email evidences and PI reports. I told her I'd forward them to you if required. I got no response from her. But, I knew my confidence in the outing was flawless and let no questions.
I told my ex In Laws about the A and FIL was convinced and asked me to forgive her. I replied with affirmation but ex was not willing to let go of OM.
MIL also told my mother that we were acting upon information given by OBS. Errr..yeah, wake the hell up ma'am, why the hell would OBS lie about her own H.
In the end In Laws were like do what make you happy DD we will always be for you.
Ex was texting OM on the day of D. To hell with her. I'm done with you. If you are happy to accept crumbs from OM and be his mistress then so be it. I'm outta here.