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Divorce/Separation Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: off the deep end.
suckstobeme
♀ Member
Member # 30853
Default  Posted: 6:56 PM, May 18th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

This is horrible. Just horrible. I'm so sorry you and your children had to subjected to violence. I'm stunned.

Please do everything you can to stay safe and know that we are all thinking of you.


BW - me
ExWH - "that one"
D - 2011
You get what you put in, and people get what they deserve.
Hard as it may be, try to never give the OP any of your power or head space.

Posts: 2789 | Registered: Jan 2011
inconnu
♀ Member
Member # 24518
Default  Posted: 7:46 PM, May 18th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((PR))) Stay safe. Hopefully your stbx will end up in an anger management class as a result of this. Passive-aggressive people really have poor coping skills when it comes to anger, and when the person they've used as the outlet for their anger stops playing the game, they often don't have any way to express their anger, except by eruption.

The only time I was ever scared of ex was during the divorce. I had finally changed the locks on the house so he couldn't keep walking in whenever he wanted (he had been gone for over 5 months at this time.) The next time he came to the house, and couldn't get in was not pretty. The anger was radiating off him, and he kept clenching his fists and rocking back and forth onto the balls of his feet. I seriously thought he might hit me, and I couldn't for the life of me figure out how it could have gotten to that point between the two of us. It still makes me sad to think about it.


Say what you wanna say and let the words fall out...honestly
I wanna see you be brave

Pretty pretty please, don't you ever ever feel
Like you're less than, less than perfect


Posts: 12146 | Registered: Jun 2009 | From: TX
SBB
♀ Member
Member # 35229
Default  Posted: 9:16 PM, May 18th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I am absolutely stunned.

For all of their POS wayward behaviour this kind of thing is a whole other bucked of fucked up.

Violence towards his children? Yet another bucket of fucked up.

Last night was just a complete explosion of his lack of control over me and my decisions any more.

Absolutely - I'm so glad you see that. Now that you see what he is capable of you know just what to do.

He has just fucked himself royally.

I am so sorry you and your children had to go through this. So very sorry.

What a fucking monster.

(((((PR)))))


I may have reached a point where I'd piss on him if he was on fire.... eventually!!

Posts: 5548 | Registered: Apr 2012 | From: Australia
hexed
♀ Member
Member # 19258
Default  Posted: 11:04 PM, May 18th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((PR)))

that's all i can think of. i'm stunned


But that's just a lot of water
Underneath a bridge I burned
And there's no use in backtracking
Around corners I have turned

“Many of us crucify ourselves between two thieves - regret for the past and fear of the future.” -foulton oursler


Posts: 8440 | Registered: Apr 2008
ButterflyGirl
♀ Member
Member # 38377
Default  Posted: 11:22 PM, May 18th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Hugs from me too.

I usually imagine this type of violence to take place behind closed doors. The fact that he did this in front of so many people is really pretty scary. Talk about losing control of yourself. I don't think anger management is going to be enough. I hope the PO continues for a very long time, if not indefinitely..

Lots of healing hugs to you.. Will be thinking of you and praying for your safety.. ((((PR))))

[This message edited by ButterflyGirl at 11:27 PM, May 18th (Saturday)]


xBW~ 35
Two of the most darling sons ~ 10 and 7

Posts: 2230 | Registered: Feb 2013 | From: Florida, USA
peridot
♀ Member
Member # 18334
Default  Posted: 11:51 PM, May 18th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((hugs to you and your family)))


I think...therefore, I'm single.

It is what it is.


Posts: 4771 | Registered: Feb 2008
Coraline
♀ Member
Member # 36434
Default  Posted: 2:04 AM, May 19th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((PR))) That is really scary, and I am so, so sorry.


Me: BW, 34 Him: WH, 35
3 Kids: 9, 3, and 1
Decree nisi will become absolute in January. We are DONE.

Posts: 771 | Registered: Aug 2012
PurpleRose
♀ Member
Member # 33129
Default  Posted: 4:23 AM, May 19th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Here we are, 4am, and the kids have made me check the doors again. They are sleeping with me again.

He was released last night and they are both aware.... This is just so unbelievable. If I start to really think about it for too long I break down, it's simply devastating to try and process this.

I was never afraid of my husband. I never feared for my life, my safety. In fact just the opposite was true. I knew he would protect me- protect US- no matter what. He is a strong man and I felt safe with him.

And now I'm reduced to this?

Worried for my kids? Scared to bits at every noise because the kids are so jumpy? This is not how my life was supposed to be.

I am tired of saying, "How could he______?" and each time I fill in the blank with something worse than the last time I asked myself the question!!


divorced the Dooosh
*****************************
even if you find your voice,
sometimes it does not matter anymore,
when you speak to a man who is deaf by choice.
~dodinsky

Posts: 3579 | Registered: Aug 2011 | From: Happyville
Bluebird26
♀ Member
Member # 36445
Default  Posted: 5:13 AM, May 19th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Oh PR, please stay safe. Can you go stay with someone, or family until you can get to your new place?

I can't imagine how scary this is, now that he is released.

((PR))

[This message edited by Bluebird26 at 5:14 AM, May 19th (Sunday)]


"Loving someone should not mean losing you. Love empowers you. It shouldn't erase you. - Thelma Davis.

Posts: 1331 | Registered: Aug 2012 | From: Australia
Beyond
♀ Member
Member # 3011
Default  Posted: 5:52 AM, May 19th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Oh PR, I am so sorry for you and your kiddos

Please please PLEASE ask your local police to drive by your house from time to time - they WILL if you ask. They might do it anyway, given what's going on, but DO ASK.

I know you're doing everything you can to keep yourself and your babies safe. I'm so sorry you have to deal with this.

{{{PR}}}


XOW.

Posts: 347 | Registered: Dec 2003 | From: Virginia
jackie89
♀ Member
Member # 38271
Default  Posted: 5:56 AM, May 19th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

PR thinking of you too.

We all think sometimes that we are in horrible situations, but until something like this happens, where your safety and the safety that your kids should be able to feel is taken away from you in a moments notice.... that is just something else.

Praying for your family.


Separated/divorcing

"The Secret of Change is to focus all your energy - not on fighting the old, but on building the new" ~~Lori Greiner FB post~~


Posts: 478 | Registered: Jan 2013 | From: Pennsylvania
Laura28
♀ Member
Member # 28997
Default  Posted: 6:12 AM, May 19th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((((PurpleRose and kidlets)))))

Laura


Married 32yrs Me BW 57Yrs Him FWH 60yrs
OWzero 1988 EA?/PA? Gaslighted.
Dday May 28 2010.
OW1 1994(6mths PA, EA 16+ years).
OW2 2002(8yrs PA).
OW3 2009(1Yr PA).
Others???? Status: Not Divorcing..but.."You can't unfuck the goat"

Posts: 2748 | Registered: Jul 2010 | From: Australia
authenticnow
♀ Moderator
Member # 16024
Default  Posted: 6:30 AM, May 19th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

PurpleRose,
I never post in here, but I really wanted to give you and your kids a hug.

(((PurpleRose and kids)))


Take up your space (and do it well).

"That's the thing about pain, it demands to be felt."


Posts: 37535 | Registered: Sep 2007
cmego
♀ Member
Member # 30346
Default  Posted: 6:55 AM, May 19th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Holy moly. Please stay safe. This kind of situation has always crossed my mind...my EH losing control.

How are your kids??


me...BS, 43 years old, 2 small kids
WS, 41, multiple gay affairs
M 15 years, together 17
Divorced

"For whatever we lose, like a you or a me, it's always ourselves we find in the sea" ee cummings


Posts: 4129 | Registered: Dec 2010 | From: South
neverbeokay
Member
Member # 8275
Default  Posted: 7:01 AM, May 19th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I just wanted to also offer my support and hope you and your kids stay safe.

Posts: 293 | Registered: Sep 2005
PurpleRose
♀ Member
Member # 33129
Default  Posted: 8:55 AM, May 19th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thanks for all the supportive words. My friends are so great- they are all checking on us constantly and making sure we are ok.

Last night was tough for the kids, and I'm so glad they finally fell asleep and are still sleeping. Their minds are running on overdrive right now I guess.

The kids both drive to and from school with me, so it's all good there. My daughter catches the bus to her school from MY school, but my principal has offered to take her in the morning so she doesn't have to be waiting for the bus outside even for those few minutes.

My elbow is feeling pretty jacked, and I don't know if it was adrenaline or what - but I barely even noticed the injury until late yesterday. I mean the bruises are there, big ugly ones, but it was numb I guess. Now it's tweaked and hurts when I move it so I'm getting it checked out today instead if waiting until I can see my reg doc tomorrow.

Add that ER bill to the list of things I shouldn't be paying for!


divorced the Dooosh
*****************************
even if you find your voice,
sometimes it does not matter anymore,
when you speak to a man who is deaf by choice.
~dodinsky

Posts: 3579 | Registered: Aug 2011 | From: Happyville
Random thoughts
♀ Member
Member # 2959
Default  Posted: 9:20 AM, May 19th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

So sorry that he did this to you and your kids

I sent you a PM about soaking your elbow in Epsom salt, or your whole body in it to get rid of the soreness and pain.

Stay safe.


Those three words are said too much and not enough.
Chasing Cars-Snow Patrol.
FWW

Posts: 1587 | Registered: Dec 2003 | From: Some where in New Jersey
confused615
♀ Member
Member # 30826
Default  Posted: 9:32 AM, May 19th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Im so sorry.


((((((((((PR and kids))))))))))


BS(me)42
FWH 45
4 kids..21,20,11,10
M: June 2001
D-Day: 8/10/10
Status: Reconciling.

..that feeling you get in your stomach, when you heart's broken. It's like all the butterflies just died.


Posts: 7387 | Registered: Jan 2011 | From: Indiana
caregiver9000
♀ Member
Member # 28622
Default  Posted: 10:43 AM, May 19th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((PR)))

Hang in there. Let the community of caring support you! Kudos to your principal for the offer and DO TAKE her up on it. Let the greatest number of eyes be on alert. Plus, it helps to highlight for the kids that there are lots of good people in the world too at a time when it can all look so scary.

Be sure to document the injury before treatment.


Me: 44, independent, happy, despite co-parenting with a lower muppet
FT "Stretch" (and Skew!) ;)
DS 13 DS 10
S 5/2010
D 12/2012

Posts: 5804 | Registered: May 2010 | From: a better place
nowiknow23
♀ Guide
Member # 33226
Default  Posted: 11:09 AM, May 19th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Can't stop thinking about you and your kids. I'm relieved to hear that you have support rallying around you. Stay alert and safe, honey.

(((((PR & kids)))))


You can call me NIK

"Sometimes it takes a good fall to know where you really stand."
-Hayley Williams


Posts: 25259 | Registered: Aug 2011
Topic Posts: 52
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