What do I do if she shows up or what can I do??
I am on medical leave for Cataplexy which for me is very like Parkinson's disease. My daughter will be with me but I just can't continue taking it and I know my BS can't
You can get a restraining order but I'm not sure how the laws in your state work. As in, not sure if she has to act first in a physically threatening way first or if the suspicion of the possibility is enough, kwim? Might be a good idea to just go ahead and file a report or maybe call a lawyer or even head down to your local PD and talk to someone.
Lastly, do you feel this woman is a threat to you or your family outside of her just showing up? Are you just worried bc you just don't want to see her at all? If its that then just don't answer the door. If she attempts to come in call 911 and report her attempting to break in- only if she is actually trying to though.
[This message edited by stilllovinghim at 11:44 AM, May 19th (Sunday)]
Thank you for your suggestions. Is it a strong potential...yes. She is not in a good frame of mind and my BS looks at her FB page to keep tabs on her. The OW knows this and put a post up about sleeping in another state tonight...and then promptly removed the post.
Now, could this have just been a game she's playing...yes. Do I feel she's a potential risk...yes. To harm not only herself but maybe others in her frame of mind. Luckily if she's flying the chance of a firearm are nil.
Not answering the door is for sure an option as I have troubles walking and if she were to show up the stress, anger and anxiety would have my cataplexy on full and I passout.
My 25 year old daughter will be with me and I will not be home most of the day tomorrow as I have medical appts. The following days of the week my oldest daughter will be with me if not me going to work with my BS.
Either way, no I don't want to have any contact with her... Not because it is or would be a trigger.. I'm upset that it is upsetting my BS and myself and interrupting my trying to reconcile and get help myself. I know her power is only that which I give her...but the effect she has on my family makes me angry.
If she were to show up I would for sure call 911 in hopes that this trek to see me would end in only talking to a policeman and the embarrassment be enough to shock her system into the reality that it is over and it wasn't real for me.
Thanks again and please keep any suggestions or experiences coming
Block her. Block her so that there is NO temptation to look.
Then live your life. Focus on what REQUIRES your focus. OW does not.
Certainly, be mindful. Call the police if there is a threat.
But the high school FB games? Well, they're working. They are tearing your BS apart. They are taking your focus from her and redirecting it to OW.
And that is exactly what OW wants.
You've given her enough of your time and attention.
Pull yourself out of this tizzy. Log on to facebook with your wife and block OW from ALL of the family's accounts. She won't be able to see you, and vice versa. It will be as if she fell off the planet.
No one needs to keep tabs on what she's posting on the Most Artificial Place on the Planet.
I think once the monitoring ends, a great deal of your angst will end, freeing you to devote yourself to the real work of R.
Right now, it's just distractions.
You have let her know contact is over so the only thing she can do now is show up uninvited at your home, which is highly unlikely. She probably enjoys making you worry about it. If she does show up, don't answer the door, dial 911, and fill out a police report. Otherwise, just move on. I think the odds are in your favor the only thing she'll do to try to contact you is immature baiting on facebook.
Whatever you do, do not send any more emails explaining to her why she needs to stop or that it's over. This will only encourage her.
Perhaps address this with the MC?
I'm going with the no answer door and call 911.
My BS has stopped watching FB after this and trust me...I want no contact and actually weeded down my 700 FB friends down to 126 family.
weeded down my 700 FB friends down to 126 family
smart move that.
Best wishes to you both.