SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

Not sure what it's called in other countries, but here in Australia it's superannuation and by law super funds are treated as property which can be split when divorcing.

I am getting our super funds valued through the laywer at the moment and STBXWH is FURIOUS

He tells me I'm 'greedy', that I 'don't have to do this' - well too bad mate, you 'didn't have to' lie and cheat and deceive and be an absolute pig to me. He yelled at me that he'd worked hard all his life for HIS money. Never mind the last 15 years spent with me and the last 11 with our children. He is so incredibly selfish.

I only want what is legally mine, in order to take on the mortgage on my own. It's going to be a huge struggle and a proportion of his super is going to help me keep this home for the kids.

I can see I'm going to get a torrent of abuse and BS over the next few weeks about what a greedy b*tch I am. URGH - hating him so much right now!

My dipshit POS STBX tried to hide his pension plan..

FTG. Go for everything you deserve and answer his whining with a big plate of crickets.

You get every dollar you are entitled to AussieMum!! I have heard similar statements from my stbx so they must refer to the same WS handbook. FTG!!

There is a reason there is a LAW to cover this - because it's appropriate and the least he can fucking do, and that's without even considering the devastation he's already caused. FTG.

I was married to my WS for almost 20 years and because of what he did to us "our" dream home is in foreclosure and I will be damned if I will lose it for some cheap hussie he wants to be with.

I will save my home for me and my kids and with his retirement that we both worked all those years to have I more than deserve it.

So now when I hear people say "they" were taken to the cleaners then I sorta understand the whole gory story and don't feel so bad for the supposed spouses that were greedy and took their share of their spouses earnings. There is always 2 sides to the story as they say. I told him maybe him and his hoe will learn a life lesson from all of this.....of course my WS will be riding the karma bus to the cleaners!!

Yeah I am apparently greedy as well. I think we all are to the x-spouse & AP, if we want more then the shirt on our back. Doesn't matter what you have done since you were together but they should be able to ride off into the sunset with their OW with everything. Have you got the you are just trying to screw me over because you are angry at me, you have no right to be

I ended up walking away from our marriage with nothing, my xwh refused to provide any financials to my lawyer and in the end I was over it and just wanted it done and to be honest there wasn't really much assets etc that I was aware of anyway.

Don't let him exhaust you. Get what you deserve and what you need for your children.

[This message edited by Bluebird26 at 5:43 AM, May 21st (Tuesday)]

Oh yes. Right now I am taking my ex to court for the nearly $50k he owe me in support that he's cheated his kids out of over the last few years by underpaying. So, now I am a gold digger.

I call it my "Fuck you very much" money.

My ex was livid about this as well, this was "his money." Of course, we moved for *his* career and put mine on the backburner. He had a retirement plan at his job wher emoney was deposited every month. *My* earnings were used to pay monthly bills and then put into savings for an emergency fund.

They're idiots. I didn't hide my retirement fund (I got one after an additional 3 years of looking for a job). He was just pissed cuz his was worth about $10K more.

Ignore the fact that we had to replace 3 cars because he was a terrible driver... that was "our" expense....

Hahahaha

I'm getting the same thing from him.

Oh well!! Guess they should have thought about that BEFORE they unzipped their pants.

I'm also greedy & undeserving. Count me in the club.

Try calculating all the money you would have earned had you been paid to: cook his meals, wash his clothes, clean his house, and care for the children. I'm sure that even after you take your fair share of the retirement, he would still owe you money.

I worked nearly the entire time I was married to XWH. I, however, earned more and put more into my retirement account than he did. He just wasn't smart enough to know that. So I proposed we both keep our own retirement and he agreed. If he was smarter he might have been able to get some of mine.

I try to think of that when I hear he is earning more than me now at a job I helped him get.

NL

My WS will go after my retirement/investment accounts :-( because he can and the law allows. He does not have very much in his retirement due to changing jobs etc. But I have built mine up pretty good and my employer puts an amount equal to my yearly salary aside for me in an investment account for retirement. By law he can get half of all of it and he is the lying cheating scumbag low down dirty dog cheater. Of course I can always hope he will not go that route, but I bet the OW will insist on it.

I understand the spouse is entitled especially after they lie/cheat/destroy a marriage/family, but in this case I am not the cheater.

my late STBX was pissed too and told everyone how much he hated giving me half of "his" money. Guess he should have checked the divorce laws in California before he had 4 affairs.

I got it all in the end since he offed himself. Works for me.

EX's lawyer was trying to bully me into giving up half the retirement too.

I stood my ground. It was the only asset we had. We were filing bankruptcy.

X "got out" of the military rather than retire, so there's no retirement to split. Just one more " screw you" I guess...

Hit submit too soon.

But yeah, I'm sure he feels I'm not entitled to any of "his" retirement. Never mind that I managed his life for twenty years, multiple deployments, multiple affairs. Never mind that for all intents and purposes I'm bankrupt because of his shitty choices. I was fair in the divorce. I didn't go for half of his 401k, I didn't ask for alimony. If I had known how things would turn out, I'd have gone for the jugular. It sure didn't pay for me to be reasonable.

[This message edited by LadyQ at 5:41 PM, May 21st (Tuesday)]

"My WS will go after my retirement/investment accounts :-( because he can and the law allows. He does not have very much in his retirement due to changing jobs etc. But I have built mine up pretty good and my employer puts an amount equal to my yearly salary aside for me in an investment account for retirement. By law he can get half of all of it and he is the lying cheating scumbag low down dirty dog cheater. Of course I can always hope he will not go that route, but I bet the OW will insist on it.

I understand the spouse is entitled especially after they lie/cheat/destroy a marriage/family, but in this case I am not the cheater."

My feelings exactly...My WH refuses to work and I know for a fact he will claim a share of my pension..He has nothing saved up on his own..

Thank you, SeanFLA,

I had such a LOL that DD came to the room to ask me what was wrong.

That's what I'm going through now, the part of the process and it's no surprise that Perv is dragging his hairy yellow butt on the financial papers. I did mine in an hour (SAHM, very LOL) and he has been weeks late. I suspect he's hiding his tracks or trying to hide what there could be?

We may be losing our house we built as well and unfortunately it's still my and DD's dream home, but reality is setting in...and bites.

Sometimes I also think of the money to come out of it and the money from "his" retirement stuff-not 'our', but "his", so I wonder what I would have done for me?

For a time at the beginning, I wasn't even going to take my phone or car, but now that OW is a "reality", the story is different and like AussieMom, I feel greedy too. Already I can think of what we would do with it and there isn't much that makes me smile now, but that does.

The other thing that makes me smile is OW thinking this is daddy warbucks come to call...but it's not!

That's for another story, I guess.

I like this thread.

Thank you all for your responses! I'm trying not to let his ranting and raving get to me as I know the law is on my side.

It just makes me f***** furious that he makes me out to be selfish and greedy after all he's put me through. He no longer has a soul inside that disgusting body of his.

Sean FLA - you made my day

My stbx actually emailed me that I had no moral right to part of his retirement.

that was funny written by an adulterer...